rere

@azishimi @mundosafico25 @bl00df1redeath @saffrontieee

baran thought, what did this woman have that she didn't? she couldn't have been a better lover, that was for sure. did she have more money? because if so baran would buy you any and everything you wanted just to keep your eyes on her the way they were on the woman in front of you. was she funnier? because if you wanted to laugh, baran would make it her mission to make you laugh.

she cursed herself for telling you to see other people because she didn't mean it. she didn't think you would actually see anyone else. you were just so interested in her and now you wanted to go on dates with other people? if you wanted to go on dates, baran would've planned as many dates as you wanted. she was jealous, and she never got jealous. it was your fault, you made her this way.

baran was pulled from her thoughts when the hostess approached her with her food in hand. she thanked the hostess and walked towards the door to leave, but on her way out, she looked back, seeing the woman now closer to you, her lips moving against yours, and her hands groping you. baran was pissed, how could you let someone else touch you? she said you could see other people not let them touch you.

the next time she sees you, she has you on all fours with your back arched and her hands digging into your waist as she fucks her strap into you. she's giving you deep, long strokes then she remembered you kissing that woman and her pace quickened, fucking you faster and harder, her grip on your waist becoming stronger, definitely leaving a mark. you're making those beautiful sounds she loves so much and telling her it's too much, but baran knows you can take it.

baran's thinking about how you allowed someone else to touch what's her's. her thoughts making her grow more and more possessive over you, she reaches down and grabs a handful of your hair to pull you into her body.

"you're mine." she growled into your ear. "don't let anyone else touch you ever again. you hear me? never again."

"y-yes." you stuttered.

"yes what?" she tightened her grip on your hair as she continued ruining your hole.

you knew what to call her.

"yes, mommy." you whined, feeling every bit of her inside of you. "i won't let anyone else touch me ever again."

Abby hums, chuckling slightly just as she looks up and opens her mouth to make a joke. As her eyes set on your face, she forgets what she was about to say.

The afternoon sunlight catches the edges of your hair, and your wrists are covered in so many bracelets Abby isn’t sure how you manage to move your hands. A rainbow lanyard hangs around your neck, and she notices you’re smiling at her. God, you have the prettiest smile she has ever seen.

“Hi,” you say, waving at her with joy before looking down at the sticker in her hands. “It’s cool, right?”

Abby’s brain immediately abandons her. She’s suddenly very aware of the weight of the tote bag hanging from her shoulder and the way her fingers seem to burn right where they’re holding the sticker, which seems to be for far too long now.

Flush creeps up the back of her neck. “Uh… yeah, it’s— it’s cool, yeah.”

“Thanks,” you chuckle lightly, your smile growing bigger. “I worked on these all week.”

For some reason, Abby finds herself smiling back as soon as your laugh hits her ears. Soon, smiling turns into staring, and this quickly turns into her realizing that she’s staring. She looks away so fast she nearly gives herself whiplash.

What the hell is wrong with her?

Thankfully, Lev chooses that exact moment to step forward.

“No way. Did you make all of them?”

“A couple,” you nod. “My friends helped, too.”

And just like that, the conversation takes off. Lev asks more about the fundraiser, while Yara compliments the bracelets. You’re telling them all about your friend, who’s standing right next to you and shoots them a shy smile every now and then.

Every few seconds, Abby’s eyes drift back to you. She can’t help but notice the way your hands move when you talk, gesturing passionately; the way your face lights up whenever you bring up the fundraiser into the conversation, the way you laugh—

God, your laugh. It’s so warm and contagious, it makes Abby want to keep hearing it over and over again.

She doesn’t realize she’s staring again until Yara elbows her. Abby furrows her brows slightly, while Yara’s expression makes it clear she’s having far too much fun now.

Across the table, you glance at her again and shoot her a smile. Her stomach immediately twists, and she manages to smile back while making eye contact… that lasts only two seconds, because she can’t fight the urge to look away almost immediately. Her cheeks are burning red, heart stammering against her chest.

What. The. Hell.

Abby has talked to plenty of attractive people before, but she’s never spent an entire conversation wondering if she’s making too much eye contact only to immediately panic and stop making it altogether.

“So, are you guys enjoying the parade?”

Your gaze lands on her. God, you have to keep looking at her cause she’s clearly making it all weird, right? That has to be the reason why.

“It’s awesome,” Lev answers after a few seconds, giving Abby a sideways glance.

“It is,” you agree, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It’s a simple gesture, but it makes Abby’s stomach flip. “This is absolutely my favorite holiday.”

The conversation continues for a few more minutes before Lev ends up buying three stickers, Yara picks out a bracelet, and Abby leaves with the scissors sticker because she was far too embarrassed to put it down.

The second they’re out of earshot, the siblings look at her with narrowed eyes.

“What?”

Yara’s smirk widens. “Nothing.”

“Stop looking at me like that.”

Lev rolls his eyes at her words, but opts for letting it go just this time. A few minutes later, he gets distracted by a food stand while Yara disappears toward a display of handmade earrings.

Abby shoves her hands into her pockets and glances around, her eyes drifting back toward your booth. By accident, obviously. She notices a bracelet hanging on the rack that she hadn’t seen before— pink, purple and blue beads woven together.

Before she can think too hard about it, her feet are already moving. A minute later, she’s standing in front of your table again.

Your face brightens immediately. “Hey! Back already?”

“Um, I—” Why is this so difficult? She points at the small piece of jewelry. “I like that bracelet.”

You glance toward the display, humming before you hand it over for her to inspect. Your fingers brush for less than a second, but it sends a shiver down her spine nonetheless.

“The colors of the bi flag are so pretty,” you lean your elbows against the table.

Abby nods. Yes, the colors are pretty. A second thought follows— you are pretty. She shakes her head to try and focus, looking down at the bracelet resting in her palm.

“They are.”

Really? Is that all she can come up with?

You tilt your head slightly, a soft smile lingering on your lips. “Hey, I didn’t catch your name before.”

“Oh,” she nearly drops the bracelet. “I’m Abby.”

“Abby,” hearing her name in your voice sends an inexplicable flutter in her chest. “I like it. That’s a pretty name.”

“Thanks.”

“Is this your first Pride?”

Heat immediately crawls up her neck. “Is it that obvious?”

The sight of her blushing right in front of your table makes you chuckle. God, she is so cute.

“A little.”

“I’m here for Lev,” she admits, glancing over her shoulder and spotting him a few booths down, excitedly waving a handful of stickers at Yara. “He’s had a rough couple of years, so when he asked me to come…”

You nod before she can even finish.

“You said yes,” your expression immediately softens, following her gaze. A smile tugs at your lips at the sight of the kid with the shaved head. “He seems so sweet.”

“He is.”

“That’s so nice of you,” you glance back at her, noticing she put the bracelet down on the table. “Y’know what? Since you’re so supportive, I’m giving you a little gift.”

Abby’s eyebrows knit together. “What?”

“This is on the house,” you gently push the bracelet toward her.

Oh God. There goes her heart again.

“No,” she shakes her head, already reaching for her wallet. “I can pay for it.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

Your smile softens. “Why?”

Abby opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. She can’t exactly say what she’s thinking: because I want an excuse to stand here longer. Instead, she says:

“It’s for a good cause.”

For a second, you simply stare at her. She’s about to mutter something else, when your expression brightens.

“Okay, but—” you reach beneath the table and pull out a small sticker. “Let’s compromise. This one is free.”

It’s a tiny cartoon house outlined in rainbow colors with the words Safe Space underneath. You slide it across the table toward her, and warmth settles inside her chest. When Abby glances back up, you’re smiling at her again.

“Thanks for supporting the fundraiser.”

The sincerity in your voice catches her off guard.

Abby leaves a minute later, deciding to get out of there before she embarrasses herself any further.

Unfortunately, she does come back a second time. She spots a pin she’d missed earlier, making her return easy enough to justify. The third time is a little bit harder, because she apparently needs another sticker.

The fourth time she returns, she doesn’t even pretend to be looking at the merchandise anymore. She just finds herself drifting back toward your booth. Every conversation feels easier than the last— you tell her about your friend and how much the fundraiser means to them, Abby tells you about Lev. You make fun of the scissors sticker and Abby threatens to throw it away, but you both know she won’t.

By the time the afternoon starts slipping into evening, Abby’s accumulated enough bracelets, pins, and stickers to open her own booth. As the crowds begin thinning and vendors start packing up for the day, Yara volunteers to go get the car.

Abby barely hears her, too busy staring across the street. Your booth is nearly empty now, a few boxes sitting on the table while you carefully take down decorations. The sight settles strangely in her chest, like something is ending before she’s ready for it to do so.

“You should go talk to her.”

Lev’s voice startles her. Abby tears her eyes away from your booth long enough to glare at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Abby”

The look Lev gives her is so unimpressed that she almost laughs. Almost. Instead, she groans and drags a hand down her face.

“I don’t.”

She glances back across the street. You’re standing on the tips of your toes trying to unhook a pride flag from the side of the canopy. A second later, your friend reaches up to help, and the two of you nearly bump heads.

Your laughter carries faintly across the distance, and Abby’s stomach immediately does that weird thing again. There it is, that feeling has been following around all afternoon and she can’t seem to make sense of it.

“I’ve never…” she trails off.

The words feel strange in her mouth. It’s all new and confusing, a little terrifying even.

“I’ve never felt like this before.”

She expects teasing or at least some sort of dramatic reaction. Lev will never let her live this down and—

“Okay.”

Abby blinks. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Lev shrugs. “It’s fine.”

“That’s it?”

“What do you want me to say?”

Abby opens her mouth, then closes it almost immediately. Because she doesn’t actually know.

Her gaze drifts back to you. You’re carefully stacking the few remaining bracelets into a small box now, chatting with your friend as the two of you pack everything away. The golden light of the setting sun catches against the colorful beads wrapped around your wrist.

The sight makes her chest ache, but not in a bad way. Just enough to make her realize she doesn’t want the day to end.

“What if I don’t know what this means?” she asks quietly.

Lev follows her gaze. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything, waiting patiently as they both watch you pack your stuff. Then, he nudges her shoulder.

“Then you don’t know.”

Abby snorts. “That’s not helpful.

“Sure it is,” he smiles softly. “You don’t have to figure everything out today, Abs.”

The words settle deep inside her chest. It’s so simple, but they carry so much weight. She’s spent the entire afternoon trying to understand what’s happening inside her head instead of letting herself just feel it.

And maybe that’s all she needs right now. Not to figure out what it means or how to label it, but just allow herself to feel.

Lev watches her for a second before a knowing grin spreads across his face. “You should probably go get her number.”

Abby wants to groan and tease him back, but she notices you just finished packing away another box. The sight sparks a sudden burst of panic, because in a few minutes you’ll be gone. If she leaves now, she’ll probably never see you again.

Before she can talk herself out of it, she starts walking toward your booth once again. Behind her, Lev pumps a fist into the air as he watches her make her way to you.

By the time she reaches your booth, you’re folding the last tablecloth. The second you look up and spot her, your entire face brightens.

“Hey! My favorite customer’s back.”

Abby laughs despite the heat crawling up her neck. “Favorite?”

“You put the fund in fundraiser,” you pint at the collection of bracelets, pins, and stickers peeking out of her tote bag. “I’m pretty sure you’ve personally financed at least one post-op appointment.”

Abby can feel her pulse in her throat. “I— Glad I could help.”

“You definitely did,” the smile you give her is so warm it makes her heart skip a bit. “Thank you, Abby. Really.”

God, the way you say her name should not have such a huge effect on her, but it does.

Around you, the festival is winding down. All the other vendors are packing away decorations and their merchandise, and people are filtering out into the streets. Still, all Abby can focus on is the softness in your expression as you look at her.

This is ridiculous. She’s asked people far scarier questions before, yet somehow this feels impossible.

After a few seconds of silence, you tilt your head slightly. “Everything okay?”

Abby exhales slowly. Okay. It’s now or never.

“Actually,” her hand finds the strap of the tote bag, fingers tightening around it. “I was wondering…”

“Yeah?” you prompt, the encouragement in your voice making her heart stumble.

She glances down for a second before forcing herself to meet your eyes again.

“Would you maybe want to—”

The words catch in her throat, and she can practically hear Lev laughing from across the street. Still, you wait patiently, a gentle smile on your lips.

Okay, Abby, get it together.

“Could I get your number?”

Your eyes widen slightly, and a grin spreads across your face. Oh no. Was that bad? Too forward? Too weird?

Before panic can properly settle in, you say:

“I was starting to think you’d never ask.”

She looks taken aback. “Huh?”

“Well,” you blush, and Abby can’t help but notice how cute and pretty you look all flustered. “I was hoping you’d come back one more time.”

“You were?”

The smile that spreads across your face is answer enough.

Without thinking too hard about it, she’s already pulling out her phone and unlocking it to hand it over to you.

“Good thing I did, then.”

“Good thing you did,” you agree, fingers brushing hers as you take the phone.

She watches as you type your name into her contacts, a small smile tugging at your lips the entire time.

“See you around?” you ask hopefully, handing the phone back to her.

Abby glances down at the number in her phone, then back at you.

“Yeah,” this time, she doesn’t have to force the words out. “See you around.”

For the first time all day, Abby’s confusion doesn’t feel so overwhelming. Whatever this is, she’ll figure it out.

and yet, not even half an hour later, you texted her privately, saying you’d happily play with her. you wrote a nice message, saying that you also enjoy the games she mentioned in her message on the server. you made sure she knew how it all worked - that she needs to pay and all. she’s ‘not that stupid’, her own words. when you sent her your listings and prices for everything, she almost resigned, cause holy shit was it pricy.

you weren’t the most expensive e-kitten, that’s for sure, and you also knew you can’t put the prices too high, as you’re only starting with this whole thing. your prices weren’t horrible, but it still hurt her wallet.

boobsucker69: is it alright if we do a single round of valo for free? jus so you know what you’re getting into lol

you considered it for a moment, but groaned to yourself before agreeing to make the first half an hour 50% off - you needed customers, really.

and she became your regular. she liked you very much, because you weren’t like your typical e-kitten. you never praised her too much and you didn’t accept if anyone went too far. sure, you were flirty with her from time to time, but you mostly kept being yourself, which pulled her in deeper.

the first week she kept asking you to play basically every evening, keeping you up for at least two hours every time. you always let her pick the games - i mean, she’s the one playing, right? so you usually played valorant or marvel rivals. she was… a difficult person, sometimes. especially when she lost. she had a damn colourful vocabulary, that’s for sure.

but you somehow survived, watching her messages appearing at a crazy pace. not only at the lobby chatroom but also in your private chat, where she complained even harsher and louder. one time you got a voice message where she was screaming insults at another team. you couldn’t lie, that one did make you laugh a bit.

and after two weeks, she asked you to play together on the voicechat. it was just a bit pricier offer, but she decided that if she’s committing to playing with an e-kitten, she might as well do it properly.

you kept playing together for two months now, and you sometimes forgot that this was supposed to be a job for you and you send her messages about your day, what have you eaten and all that stuff. you liked talking with her. and you had to admit, whenever you two played together and talked on voicechat, you enjoyed her voice. she couldn’t do the same, at least not with your real voice. you used a voice changer, just to bring your pitch a bit higher and, well, keep you safe in the internet.

you would’ve never guessed you’d ever bump into your client in the wild world. hell, you didn’t even know if ellie was in the same country as you. all you knew was her name - that she told you cause you didn’t want to call her ‘booblover69’ - and that you two were in a similar, if not the same, timezone.

so imagine your surprise when you literally bumped into someone while walking around the campus with your friend, and you heard that raspy, low voice. well, fuck.

“shit! sorry— damn, that’s- that’s on me, sorry.” she rambled, immediately looking at you with an almost panicked gaze, as if you were about to bite her head off.

and, you guessed it right - she was a loser. baggy clothes, messy auburn hair, big ole dark eyebags (that you were just a bit to blame for). her flannel was unbuttoned, revealing a white wife-pleaser with a stupid, idiotic text in the middle in a bold font and a small coffee stain on it, sleeves rolled up, revealing a tattoo on one of her forearms. the way you were looking at her made her fumble with her words even more, and you wondered if it was because she was scared or flustered.

her face all freckled, eyes green, eyelashes unfairly long and naturally curled. one of her brows had a thin scar cutting it in the middle. you couldn’t help but keep noticing all small things about her. she was so beautiful, yet so handsome at the same time. were you seriously falling for the nerdish, loser-y charm?

you were so silent to the point your best friend, standing nearby, gently nudged you to wake you up. this is your downfall in real time. holy shit.

“i— it’s fine.” you said, shaking your head, feeling breathless. now you cursed in your head the fact you used a voice changer, cause what if you two had a love-at-the-first-sight moment now?

“all’s good. i wasn’t looking where i was going either.” you added, giving her a small smile.

how have you never seen her around before?

everything became harder after that one meet up. you weren’t the loser, so why were you falling so quickly and acting like a pathetic, yearning, pathetic loser! you told yourself that you need to drop her, that it’s unfair to her that you know who she is. and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to do that.

even worse - you started genuinely laughing at her god awful jokes, and kept up with the daily messages. yeah, you were a goner.

“come on! dude, when’s the last time we went to a party?” your best friend whined one day, tugging at your hand like a kid, pouting. you didn’t feel like going, but… when you considered it all, maybe it was a good idea. maybe that’s what you needed to do in order to get over that small crush in your client.

so that’s how you found yourself at the frat party, hoping ellie wouldn’t get disappointed when you’re unavailable if she does text you tonight.

and you actually had fun for a while. you got tipsy, danced with your friends, played beer-pong, got even tipsier, and then, after a long while, walked out onto the backyard to get some fresh air and maybe smoke.

well, fuck you, said the universe, dropping ellie right there, sitting on the wooden stairs with a blunt in between her fingers. you almost died right there and then, overwhelmed by her attractiveness. sure, that girl’s a nerdy loser through and through, but how has nobody snatched her yet?

you tried to act casual as you sat down next to her, staring at the sky.

“y’see that one? that’s the big dipper.” she said randomly, pointing her finger at the sky, her other hand twirling with the blunt.

you squinted, looking at the stars for a moment before catching where she was pointing.

“holy shit, you’re right!” you exclaimed with a breathless giggle, finding it the best thing ever.

she found your excitement cute, looking at you with a grin.

“‘m ellie. just realised we haven’t really exchanged anything besides some touches.”

“you made it sound way more perverse than just bumping into each other.” you replied with a small snort, rolling your eyes before offering your name back. your real name, for the first time to her. i mean, it would’ve been weird if you handed her your e-kitten handle.

you two talked for a bit before she raised the blunt, just now remembering about it.

“wanna share?” she asked with a dopey grin.

“you sure? don’t want you accusing me of stealing.”

“oh, i’d gladly let a pretty girl like you steal all the weed from me.” she mumbled before placing the blunt between her lips and lighting it up.

she took a slow drag and you had all the excuses in the world to ogle her lips. chapped, dry. pretty. maybe soft. you’d like to find that out on your own, definitely.

she passed the blunt to you, fingers brushing against yours as she watched you just as intensely as you were watching her seconds ago. you wrapped your gloss-stained lips around it, slightly wetting the tip of the paper, making it taste like strawberry. you hoped she wouldn’t kill you for that.

the way you were having a stare-off, just ogling each other in silence as the blunt made its way to her, then to you, then back to her, it was all so… intense. hot.

“you have pretty eyes.” you blurted our after a few rounds of that, looking into her forest green eyes.

“well, you’re all pretty.” she said back with a small laugh and you almost shivered at the way her voice sounded after drinking and smoking.

you were slowly starting to feel the high, and the alcohol in your body definitely didn’t help. you felt your tongue getting looser and you sighed, resting your chin on your palm.

“can i vent?” you asked, glancing at her just to see her nod in agreement.

you weren’t sure how the hell to say all of that without revealing that not only you were talking about her but also talking about working as an e-kitten.

“i have a job where i… help others with stuff. they don’t know who i am, i don’t know who they are. and i… like a girl. but she’s my… client. i worry that if i tell her the truth, she’ll be mad. maybe embarrassed. but i genuinely like her so much and i don’t want her to feel embarrassed that i know she reached out to and paid for an e-kitten.” you rambled and rambled, not realising that the alcohol and weed made you say the thing out loud.

“what?” she suddenly asked, looking up. “y’said what?”

you froze for a second as well, feeling as if the alcohol leaved your body, just now when you needed it as well.

“i’m… i’m your e-kitten.” you whispered, feeling completely embarrassed with having to say it out loud, and so nervous. “but! but, ellie— i really find myself smiling when we play together. and we text each other all the time and-”

“holy fuck.” she said with a small groan, crushing the butt of the blunt against the stair before turning to fully face you.

“you knew it the moment we bumped into each other, did you?” she asked with a sigh, now feeling like a nervous, shy puppy. not only she was talking with a girl that turned out to be her e-kitten, but also the girl was hot as fuck and telling her that she liked her. hard combo for her fried ass brain.

“…yeah.” you replied with a nod. now she understood why you froze for so long that moment - you had recognised her.

“does it mean… i get to play with you for free if i ask you out?” her words made you surprised this time. you couldn’t help but laugh a bit at that, looking up at her, seeing a tiny smirk on her lips.

“only if you organise something really cool.” you replied, watching her take out her phone - screen broken in a few places, phone looking like it went through a war with her clumsy ass.

“give me your number, yeah? so we can talk for real outside your workplace.” you knew she’ll tease you endlessly about the fact you were getting money working as an e-kitten, but you also knew that you can tease her back with the fact she had used your services.

you obeyed and saved your number in her phone, smiling softly.

“you know, i’ll be honest - i had a small, teeny tiny crush on your both identities.” she said quietly, softly, when you handed her her phone back. “in a cool way, obviously.”

you laughed at her dorky words, shuffling a bit closer to her on the stairs. you knew, then and there, that you won’t be free easily.

Doctor!Sevika who expects you to answer her questions no matter what you’re doing.

You’re surveying the severity of a life-threatening situation, walking around the gurney with practiced ease as Sevika strides in, watching like an overseeing hawk.

“What med do we give them?” She questions you directly, pulling on a pair of gloves and letting them snap against her thick, bruising fingers as she walks over.

“Epinephrine 1:10,000, one milligram for cardiac arrest.” You didn’t look up at her.

“Correct.”

Doctor!Sevika who smokes outside of the hospital by the ambulances at bay. She liked the nicotine rush. Liked the feeling of the smoke grazing her lungs despite knowing in depth what it did. Or maybe—just maybe, she liked when you would come out for a break, panting as if you were on the midst of a breakdown, and immediately straighten up when you see her, aiming to make a dry joke about her addiction to smoking beneath it all.

“Smoking, doctor?” You managed to catch your breath, making the words come out slippery and airless. “Thought you’d know better…” you shot her a sheepish smile—one that was supposed to be teasing, but your face was too exhausted in pouting lines to move sharply into real amusement.

“None of us know better in reality, we chose to work here, after all.” Sevika scoffed, though you saw—or hoped, and begged, that your words landed right as you saw her upper lip twitching north momentarily.

Doctor!Sevika who never lets you break news to a patient’s loved one’s alone. She can see the hollowness prolonging your face after losing a patient. One as young as a teenager—she sees the familiar blame, the guilt—the nauseating shame of needing to do something more than you could have done. It was a baggage she had learnt to leave at doors.

Doctor!Sevika who takes up a lot of space in the ER, bouncing between rooms like she was made to save lives. Despite the scrubs she wears, hiding any trace of body underneath, stethoscope loose around the neck, she never fails to be everywhere all at once, even if you told yourself that wasn’t possible.

Doctor!Sevika who never lets you overwork yourself.

Your arms ache, pain springing through it like stabbing needles from the chest compressions that never seemed to bring back even a faint pulse. Sweat created a sheen like layer over your skin, reflecting fluorescent light like a beam of a flashlight. The patient’s face becomes blurry in front of you, chapped lips—blood stained across their face. You couldn’t lose another one. Couldn’t afford anymore blood on your hands for the sake of your sanity.

Your fingers trembled, echoed voices directing information before a familiar one cut through.

“Switch. Now.”

You looked up swiftly. Your breathe staggered, head shaking.

“I’m fine.” You retorted back sharply, letting out a pant.

“This isn’t about you this is about the patient. You’re losing quality. Laura, switch with her now.” She waved her hand dismissively towards you, another doctor moving past you as you stumbled back. Her words were harsh and cold, but nothing could match her eyes landing onto yours amongst the storm.

“Take ten.”

“I’m fine.” You repeated, stepping closer to the end of the patient as your eyes scanned over them again.

Whatever Sevika was thinking behind her grey eyes; it was clear she wasn’t having your refusal. She stepped closer—dangerously close, intimately close, brushing a hand against your arm.

“I said take. Ten.”

Doctor!Sevika who started driving you home after your shifts has finished. You were waiting for another nurse to sign off for the day, leaning against the car-park as the weariness of the day that had burrowed itself deep within you starting to slither out.

You let out a tired sigh, the loneliness of the shifts always felt daunting after losing a patient. But it was inevitable. You heard the same lines everyday.

‘It’s not your fault.’

‘Don’t let it get to you.’

‘Leave the baggage when you come through the door.’

‘You did all you could. There’s nothing more you could’ve done.”

But that gnawing hollowness inside of you was interrupted by a flash of head-lights. You looked up, seeing that familiar stature with gripped fingers against the steering wheel.

Sevika.

She didn’t speak—didn’t bother to roll down her windows against the soft patter of the rain, only nodded her chin towards the passenger seat, unlocking the car with a subtle click.

Doctor!Sevika who , very dangerously, lets the line slip between professional and unprofessional. One too many times she’s dropped you off now, and each time she does she keeps getting closer and closer to your apartment, walking you in—taking a coffee for herself, smoking outside despite the winds disallowing the lighter to work for several minutes. It becomes to a point where you just invite her in. You were exhausted. Drained. Witnessed two deaths while the other three became your own. A busy day for the ED meant your barriers lowered, seeking out a warmth you thought you’d never get—which was undeniably Sevika. And after long, lilting glances, an emergency room made up of your equally as short glances and awaiting praise from Sevika, the tension became a presence the whole department could feel.

Doctor!Sevika who had to have you. Little visits became more profound. Her keys sometimes left on the side of your nightstand—her bag left at the front of the house, and her strap she purposely left at home for you to use left tangled on the bed.

Ever since things got serious—and you were occasionally switched out for night shifts, Sevika became almost snappy with the rest of the staff when she couldn’t order her favourite little thing around. Instead, during breaks—she’d FaceTime you, already expecting you to be up, and coerce you into angling the phone just right where she could see you bouncing on her strap, whining like a pathetic mess for her.

“Sevvy…come home,” you whimpered out, squishing your own breast as you heard her suck up a deep breath on the other side. But you were meant with a perilous coldness that felt too personal just for you.

“Tch. You have a lot of audacity, love.” She drawled, watching the phone. “Be a good girl and fuck yourself f’me. yeah baby?”

Doctor!Sevika who insists on doing ‘pelvic exams’ on you.

You know you’re soaking. She knows it as well. And yet you still drag your soddened panties down, wiggling off your trousers to kick them to the side.

“Part your legs.” Sevika hummed, letting her fingers skim over your upper-thigh, trailing further inwards towards the heat radiating off of you.

“Your pussy has no self control, does it?” Her steel eyes snapped to your face, her fingers sliding through your folds, collecting the slick there. “Not around me, anyways.” She smirked crookedly, letting her thumb rub slow circles on your clit.

You breathe hitched, hips pistoning forward against her fingers. So cold. Always so rigid like frost over your usually-warm body. “Sev..” you whined—a sound that reverberated from wall to wall.

“Tender, sweetheart?” She moved forward, easing two fingers into your weeping hole as they stuffed your cunt until they were full with her fingers. She knew exactly where to hit—how to hit, how to push and pull her fingers inside of you, watching you leak deliciously around her. “So sensitive for me…you have a thing for your attending, darling?” She shook her head, smirking to herself, before she wiped it off her face completely.

“How unprofessional.” She tutted, smacking your pussy as quick as her fingers had just entered you. “I’m just doing an exam, love.”

Doctor!Sevika who is always moaning at you to do your charting. You always want to skim around the generic work—but being more hands on meant recording everything else much frequently in bigger chunks. And you hated it…occasionally. The only reason you wouldn’t hate it was because it got Sevika’s attention. She turned to behind you, giving you an expecting look that meant trouble for later if you didn’t do as she said.

Doctor!Sevika who lets you break down in her arms after you’ve suppressed everything all day. She’s warm—feels like home beneath muscles you rarely got to see.

“Sh sweet thing, you did well f’me today.” She mumbled into your neck, her breathe warm against it as your frame trembled against her.

“I did well? I-I lost…I-“ you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. Words that felt too heavy even grief couldn’t compete in that moment. A feeling of utter despair.

“Who you lost doesn’t equal to your performance. Even then, you were excellent.”

Doctor!Sevika who occasionally breaks down with you. Sevika is a tough women who prides herself on staying composed no matter the situation, but whenever kids and children where involved, and loss followed, it always seemed to be the burrow of her day.

“I…” the warm lighting of your apartment lamp glowed directly onto Sevika’s face, smoothing away the prominent lines that would usually be there. And even then, the melancholy engulfing her features was hard to miss. “I had two patients. One six. One ten years older,” she swiped the edge of her nose with her thumb, leaning forward, elbows planted atop her knees. “Sisters, in a bad car crash.”

You stayed silent in these moments. It was rare an attending would break like this, especially someone like Sevika. Her voice was hoarse, unmistakable shakiness erasing the roughness of it.

“Couldn’t save them.” She finished—grey eyes like dull clouds hugging the floor ground, the tilt of her head avoiding the chase of light, bringing back those harsh lines that was like a remnant of the ED taken home with her.

You watched her hunched figure, eyes passing between the side of her face glowing in the light, and the other side shielded by the past.

“Sev,” you whispered—a nickname you gave her, even at work where other med students teased you about it, slipping from your tongue as you moved from the opposing sofa to sit next to her. But now the nickname felt more intimate. Felt more reserved for you and her only. “I know…” you let out a little empty laugh, faking flat in the air around. “I know you’ve heard this…so many times but..” you gulped, looking towards her. “I mean..I know I have but…it’s not your fault. You did everything you could’ve possibly done.”

You expected her to scoff. Expected her to roll out a cigarette that would burn her lungs into numbing her emotionally—but it didn’t come. Nothing came. Except for one sentence.

“You know, I only believe it when you say it.”

Doctor!Sevika who makes you exam her body late after shifts—night hitting the bar when you’re both alone in the apartment. You’re stripped of your clothes, wanting to writhe and moan atop of her as she lays before you, in the same state of undress.

You started at her neck—going into the anatomy, the potential problems—the way it works, all the while she kept a vibrating buzzing against your pussy

“Focus.” She’d snap, watching you try to grind down against her. “How are you going to be a doctor if you can’t focus under pressure?”

Doctor!Sevika who notices your self-destructive behaviour after a particular gruelling day. You don’t know how many patients you’ve lost across an almost fifteen hour-shift, but the day came together into one solid thing; pure turmoil. Drinking. Self harming. Pushing and pulling against her. No matter what though, Sevika will always be there for you.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She’d stand firmly in your apartment, watching tears travel down your face as if racing against each other. “If you think this will make me leave, you obviously believe I’m in the wrong profession.”

Doctor!Sevika who loves washing the grime off of your body after a long day. You’re half asleep, eyes half-lidded as she kneads your breast beneath her palm.

And you just let her. You let this older woman—with more experience than you and others combined, wash away the troubles on your body. It’s only when she trails her kisses down your body, ending up at your clit where she eagerly makes out with it, so you fully wake up.

“Mm…sweet girl.” She’d groan against you. “Sweetest thing i’ve had all day.”

Doctor!Sevika who rarely teases you when you’re both working. She’s focused—the same stern doctor who you had a crush on before all the confrontation, and it’s only occasionally where her warnings come off as a promise for what she’ll do to you later.

Doctor!Sevika who never lets any other attending or patient doubt you.

“Are you sure she should be doing this-“

Sevika cuts them off without so much as acknowledging them, scrubs heavy on her skin. “Do it.” She nods towards you, before leaving the room to supervise elsewhere.

Doctor!Sevika who loves the late-nights of eating takeaway and binge-watching a tv show when you both can’t sleep. You both know the reason why. In and out of shifts without a wink of sleep would do that to you sometimes—and the trauma of the hospital sometimes haunted your home.

Doctor!Sevika who will finger you to sleep, mumbling about some, ‘I can’t have my favourite resident lacking sleep. Rest, sweetheart.’ All while her fingers gently coerce you to sleep, cooing against that sweet spot inside of you that made you melt to mush.

Doctor!Sevika who knows when you’re trying to deflect the pain after a shift. You both ended up at your apartment again, the door slamming shut as a thickening silence comes through the home.

“Sev?” You looked up, pulling the bag of your back as you grasped onto her wrist, pulling her into a kiss that felt too demanding, even for you.

She raised an eyebrow for a moment, sliding her lips over your own before she pulled back—the taste of coffee and a shared cigarettes lingering on your tongues.

“Not now, sweetheart. Let’s get some food in you, yeah?” She sees your fingers trembling, but you reluctantly let go of her, eyes watering as she leads you through your own home with practised ease. “I want to, trust me I do. But you need to process this.”

Doctor!Sevika who never lets you out of her sight during work after hearing about you losing another patient. She’s like a constant camera tracking you, telling you to ‘take ten’, ‘take five’, to ‘go home’ when it got too much. She cared too much, and it ended up being the thing that softened her fully.

Doctor!Sevika who ends up loving you unconditionally.

Taglist