gedachtenextracten

"Okay...That’s...” Interesting.

"I was just so sick of her setting me up on dates!” Gail said, exacerbated. “Anyway, as all things usually do, it blew up in my face.”

“How so?”

"She ordered I bring them to family dinner tomorrow night." Gail picked up Holly’s pen and began spinning it back and forth across her fingers. "Don't ‘spose one of your nerdlings from the lab would want to be my fake boyfriend for a night, because I've basically been rejected by everyone I’ve asked at 15."

Holly knitted her brow together. Who in their right mind would turn down a date with Gail Peck? "How many did you ask exactly?"

Gail blushed. "Okay, so I only asked one person. Dov. Hardly eligible but..."

"Isn't he dating Officer Price?"

"Yeah, but he was in love me once so I figured I'd give it a shot.” Gail shrugged.

Holly laughed. It's seemed like everyone had been in love with Gail at some point or another, and she could now add herself to that growing list of chumps.

"Yeah, he did that too, laughed right in my face." Gail frowned.

Holly put her elbows on her desk and her chin in her hands. "If only you liked girls, I would go with you."

The pen stopped spinning and Gail sat up a little straighter. "I could like girls."

“Come again?" Holly had only been half joking.

"I've kissed women before."

"What? When?"

"Okay, woman. One woman. A month ago, in a cloak room."

Holly remembered that night fondly. “You're ridiculous." And adorable, she thought to herself.

"But not so ridiculous that you will be my fake girlfriend?"

“You– you’re serious?”

"As serious as a guacamole shortage at a taco party. My mom would love you! You tick off all the prerequisites for a suitable mate, according to my mother that is: You're super smart, have a reputable career with opportunities for advancement. You’re fertile, and like,” Gail paused and Holly felt herself being scrutinised, “annoyingly beautiful. What's not to love?"

Holly was momentarily stunned by the words coming out of Gail’s mouth, especially that last part. "Uh, the fact that I'm a woman?”

“I highly doubt she’d have a problem it, and if she did, she would be a total hypocrite, and take it from me my mother hates being called a hypocrite.”

Holly squinted at her.

“She had a year long relationship with a woman in college before she met my dad."

Holly shook her head.

"It's true! If you don’t believe me you could ask her about it Friday night." Gail grinned conspiratorially at her.

"I don't know..."

"Please?” Gail begged. “I will buy you lunch today...That halloumi burger with mango you seem to love so much.” Gail gagged.

Holly considered the offer but it was hardly an even trade, especially if she had to spend a few hours with Gail’s mother, someone who Gail once described as the reincarnation of the anaconda from the Anaconda movie. Holly did like the idea of spending more time with Gail, though. She just needed to broker a better deal for herself.

"Okay, but you’re buying me lunch for a week."

"Fine."

"And you'll come with me to that lecture series in Ottawa in two weeks."

Gail groaned. "The one about barnacles you’ve been having wet dreams about every night for the past week?"

Holly grinned. "The one and only. An entire weekend of nature’s decomposition clock.”

Gail looked at her, unimpressed. "Fine. Anything else while I'm in a giving mood?"

There was only one thing Holly could think of. "Sex, at least three times a week.”

“Three times? Really?”

“Too much?” Holly was suddenly doubting her counter offer. She was lucky to have sex once a fortnight with her last girlfriend. Though this was a fake relationship they were entering into and she wanted more for herself.

“You disappoint me, Lunchbox. Make it eleven and a half times and we have a deal.”

Holly cocked her head to the side. “Why the half?”

“Because you will undoubtably pass out from the multiple orgasms I give you and won’t be able to return the favor.”

Holly smirked. “Is that so?”

“Yeah. Either that or we’ll be interrupted by your evil cat.”

“I think I can get on board with that. You have yourself a deal, Officer.” They shook hands, Holly holding on just a little bit longer than probably necessary.

“Why do you look like you just uncovered the identity of the zodiac killer?” Gail asked.

Holly tried not to look so smug. “Oh nothing, it’s just... you think I’m annoyingly beautiful.”

Gail rolled her eyes and turned away. “Whatever. I’ll be back in 20 minutes with your vomit burger.”

“Um, Gail?”

Gail stopped in the doorway and disgruntedly turned back around. Her cheeks were flushed and expression tinged with incredulity.

“You’re disgustingly beautiful,” Holly countered.

“Ha! Tell me something I don’t know,” Gail said flippantly as she walked out of Holly’s office.

“I’m going to be the best girlfriend you’ve ever had,” Holly called out and then clamped her hand over her mouth at the realization she’d said that loud enough for the entire lab to hear. She’d also meant to say “best fake girlfriend”.