ThePittFan

I’ve always believed that a person’s true colors show in how they treat animals and children, especially when they think no one's watching. How they behave toward those who are vulnerable, who can’t defend themselves or speak up.

What touched me the most was Robby's "so many wonderful things to see, so many people to love ahead of you".

Because when he repeats it, I think he is really saying it to himself. That’s why his voice breaks and he tears up more - he's trying to dance through the darkness and give himself hope.

Shh.

It's okay, Robby.

it takes a village, dont it?

I've been anticipating a full rewatch of season 2 for weeks and I finally have the time. January feels so long ago, watching eps that aired then feels revelatory now. Some observations so far:

Eps 1-3

The opening song is a widow into Robby's self delusion. Specifically the show plays the final verse which goes

"Now I'm having fun looking out for number one And I'm doing all the things I like to do I'm having fun cause I knew it all along I'd be better off without you"

These words over Robby's sailing into the ED helmet-less on a motorcycle. And you can see how Robby interprets those words. He has a new hobby, a new friend, a new purpose with his upcoming trip. He's having fun! He's looking out for himself! Isn't he? He doesn't need anyone, definitely not his mom who left him! Or anyone in the ED who's worried about him! Or the therapists that he keeps not quite working out with!

In hindsight the whole season is focused on showing the cracks in the delusion.

In Ep 1, Santos is the first person to notice Mel is not ok. The first to ask what's wrong and to try to reassure her (in her very Santos way.) This really makes their final scene, primal screaming karaoke together at the end of the day, feel so earned. It completes an arc started in the first half hour of the show. Love it.

Robby is taking things in stride through eps 1-2. Sure he's not thrilled with Al Hashimi. He's actively pissed that he had to see Langdon's face. But he's still being cordial. He's teaching patiently. He's being good with patients. He's joking and smiling genuinely. He's doing silly little bows to the baby in pedes. He mostly seems like himself.

The first cracks start to show in ep 3. This is when the first motorcycle crash comes in, but I think more importantly its when Mrs. Kurlenko arrives. More in this in a second.

Robby's voice gets rougher suddenly when he lies about wearing his helmet while they deal with the crash victim. Noah Wyle the actor that you are.

Robby and Mohan are on good terms. In Ep 3 when Garcia rips into Mohan about not examining Mrs. Yee, Robby sticks up for her. Mohan thanks him for "the backup", he says anytime. I'm really interested in seeing if I can identify the moment where things go so wrong with the two of them as the season progresses.

McKay's wish for romance is so instantly fulfilled its hilarious. It kind of suggests that what she wants is there waiting for her when she's ready to take it. But I also think her TWO flirty as hell patients and her declaration that she needs to get laid are an interesting lead in to what will be her most important case later with Roxie. And that she will end the day not interested in her date at all. Partly because of exhaustion, but maybe also because watching Roxie and her family, especially the kids, seems to shift her priorities a bit by the end. Maybe she doesn't need to get laid, maybe she needs something more intimate than sex.

Dr Al Hashimi really comes in so strong. I had this impression the first time I watched and I think even more so this time. I'm still unsure why exactly she is so up in Robby's face. He is listening to her in these early eps. Being polite if disinterested in her proposed changes. I'm going to be paying especial attention to Al Hashimi's arc moving forward. It's the one I understood least on first watch.

Speaking of, Al Hashimi's first absence seizure happens here. Long before the real stressors of the day had kicked in. When she was still feeling good and confident and in control. It makes me wonder if she had been having seizures prior but just hadn't noticed since they didn't happen during interactions with other people. I don't know how these kind of seizures feel for those who experience them. Regardless, she hasn't yet seemed to understand the import of the moment just yet. Will be paying attention to this.

I'm interested in a kind of parallel storyline happening between her and Robby where their facade is being broken down in real time. Him with his passive suicidality, her with her deteriorating health.

Mrs. Kurlenko. My favorite patient this season. Also, hugely important to the season arc for a few reasons. 1. She is the one who unwittingly makes Robby start thinking about his past. Specifically, his grandparents who raised him. His childhood is a deeply painful subject for him but we don't know that yet. 2. We are reminded of Robby's Jewish identity, a key element of understanding him. 3. She openly mocks his trip. And he takes the joke, laughs with her. But it bothers him. It gets under his skin a little. It's why he tells Dana about it, even though he frames it as being in on the joke.

And immediately after telling Dana about this, they get the call about Westbridge diverging patients. And Robby goes from in control, from rolling with it, to looking stressed. To rubbing his face as he does when feeling pressure. To saying I should have left early. And it seems like that's a response to Westbridge, but that's just the exterior stressor. Really, it was his interaction with Mrs. Kurlenko that has begun to break him down.

They don’t like to do the same thing twice so I don’t think we’re going to get a season-long breakdown like this one where he’s snappy and yelling at people (since season 1 seems to be more of him having flashbacks and hiding his pain). I think his rock bottom is that everyone was fine without him, which hurts, but it motivates him to get better in the end.

Plus I think they recognize that while it might be realistic-Robby snapping at people for another season (especially while he’s been gone for more than 3 months) would be too much, and I say that as someone who knew what they were doing (and did it well) with season 2.

If season 1 is him realizing he’s starting the slow slope down, season 2 is him reaching that peak and the pain that comes with it, then I think season 3 is hitting the rock bottom and struggling to find a way to get back up but still has the goal to try and get better.

Plus sad forlorn depressed Robby??? We got flashback Robby, angry-sad meltdown Robby, now we can have fish out of his own pond Robby, trying to connect but all his coworkers and friends have grown and moved on.

i think that'd break anyone and especially someone as weathered as robby who sees the place as a sinking ship and he's the captain of that disaster.

It's clear that he wasn't like this every day. Dana explicitly asks him "what's wrong with you today?" so it gives us the assumed information that this behavior is isolated and not a norm. Buttt Ellis also tells Langdon that "I've worked with him for 10 months while you've been gone; he's not mad at you, he's mad at himself for failing you" which also says that he's acted in a way that's shown that and it probably wasn't positive.

His mental health didn't randomly take a plummet today specifically. It's been bad for years but it can be implied that it's gotten significantly worse since Pittfest happened, especially with the planning of this sabbatical which was most likely never about taking a break for him.

So what did that look like? Did the patients that got to him, made him tear up inconspicuously while walking down hallways and triggered PTSD episodes, occur more often? Did he spend the end of shifts on the roof more often? Did he increasingly get snappier but those times it came with an apology? Did he sleep less/look more visibly exhausted? Drive a little bit more reckless after he got his motorcycle?

Did anybody ever notice? Did Dana ever check in with him like she did on this shift but instead with gentle words and concerned looks? Did Jack ever force him to go home after he was on the verge of working a double because he couldn't stand to be alone with his thoughts anymore? When did he decide to use Noelle as a distraction? When did he meet Duke and how often did he go over for bullshit reasons because he needed the company?

When did the cracks really start showing? When did the crushing weight of his broken mind start to get too much and start becoming impossible to hide?