AAAAAHHHH!!!

Do you want to eat?

Take a bath?

Or me?

There is a saying.

⬇️I've translated the dialogue⬇️

1P～

W｢I'm home.｣

M｢Oh, welcome home.｣

M｢I just got back a little while ago, too, and my food isn't ready yet.｣

M｢Would you like to take a bath first? or get some rest?｣

W｢No......｣

W｢I'll take you first, Mo ran.｣

M｢………………｣

M｢What！？！？｣

2P～

W｢...they seem to get a kick out of joking about it, but I have no idea what's so funny about it.｣

W｢What do you think, did you get excited?｣

M｢Yes.......it was very exciting......｣

M｢But the more exciting part is yet to come, Wanning.....｣

W｢What！？Are you out of your mind！？｣

W｢You're the one who's wrong.｣

W｢Hey! Moran!｣

W｢Mmm～～～～！！｣

#we’ve got to stop throwing people away#this is targeted at a specific perspective#that i think will probably become very common among ppl who go from hyx to 2ha#there is already a little of ‘mo ran must never forgive himself’ going around though#and i think that’s just… so punitive and bleak and a worryingly common way to think about people#it really is the phenomenon of once you set a baseline of behavior…#a good person can’t put a foot wrong and anything good a bad person does is praiseworthy#see: shi mei stan accts that hate on mo ran#i’m using good person and bad person as shortcuts of course#are bodhisattvas even expected to never think wrong?#i don’t think that’s how enlightenment works actually#lol from my extensive experience#still i do know a little about it

Also, don’t get me started on Shi Mei stan accounts hating on Mo Ran 🙄 I mean, I totally get the appeal of loving a pretty villain and the hot mess that he is (hell, I do it all the time, too), but, ffs, if you are doing this, please own it and don’t try to turn it into some fake-woke social justice issue! I am fascinated by their blind spots when they attempt to decry some sort of double standard about Mo Ran getting a happy ending when “they both did the same thing”. Umm… no? It was not the same at all!

First of all, Mo Ran committed the vast majority of his atrocities under mind control and after literally being driven insane. What Shi Mei did was all premeditated and with his consciousness fully intact. And before someone brings up the brothel massacre that came before the curse, let me just point out that these were people who had wronged Mo Ran directly and pushed him well beyond his breaking point. In contrast, Shi Mei’s first victims were people who had loved him. Sisheng Peak was the first to be destroyed and let’s remember that he had wanted to plant the flower in Chu Wanning, who had taken him under his wing when nobody else would and who was on the same side as him when it comes to the BBB issue. Also, once you commit to the whole ‘the end justifies the means’ philosophy and start doing the same thing that was done to you to innocent people, you have absolutely crossed the line into full villain territory. 

Also, everyone talks about how Chu Wanning was willing to tear both his body and soul to pieces to protect the people he loves, but the fact is, Mo Ran did this too! He literally gave everything he had for others, and he had so little to begin with. Even TXJ did this, his only act after he was finally freed in the 2.0 timeline was to protect the surviving world with what is left of his body and soul. In contrast, Shi Mei just took and took, not caring whom he killed and what he destroyed. 

And all this is before we even get to the main theme of this book, which is that in order to be redeemed, you have to repent first. I mean, if you are going to compare Mo Ran and Shi Mei, how do you not see this? When Mo Ran was freed, he felt pain, guilt and shame and took responsibility for what he had done. In contrast, Hua Binan never did and continues to believe he did nothing wrong. Putting full blame on Taxian-jun for the atrocity that he personally planned, orchestrated and put into motion was the height of audacity, and that is why he did not get any grace in the end. Even the second timeline Shi Mei understood this and embarked upon a proper path of repentance, which will probably lead him to peace before he dies and set him on a path to reincarnation. 

The problem with Hua Binan is that he doesn’t want to admit he was wrong. The fact that 2.0 Shi Mei KNEW what they were doing was wrong and acted against it means hbn still had this idea that he was in the right.

I’d also like to point out that txj wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for 1.0 Shi Mei/Hua Binan so yes Hua Binan was still very much at fault for what Txj did. Txj was his puppet.

For me, Hua Binan is so irredeemable because he does horrific things of his own volition against innocents (there is no concept of acceptable collateral damage where you literally destroy a universe and start on another one because you need more people to kill) but also because he takes genuine pleasure in his horrors - and not horrors against people who wronged him but people who have done nothing to him or treated him well.

He plans to rape Chu Wanning (and earlier planned to put the flower into him to make him into a puppet monster AND someone “in love” with him) and all CWN has ever done was take him in as a student. Hua Binan himself doesn’t seem to have any beef with the man but he operates on a “well, it’s my turn to bang him now” as if CWN is not a person but a teapot in a group house - must be shared and shared alike without any input from the teapot. For him, CWN exists only to satisfy whatever need or desire Hua Binan has, whether for a puppet or for sex or whatever. And that to me is the core horror of Hua Binan - he does not see anyone else except himself as a person - not the people he kills, not Chu Wanning who he supposedly fancies, not even the other BBBFs who he uses and kills (Song Quitong) and only helps in the way he thinks is good - if they disagree too bad! There is only one real person in Hua Binan’s world and it’s him. 

And I can’t even think about what he did to Mo Ran without feeling more rage than is healthy. One can possibly, in a truly twisted way, explain his hatred of Mo Ran 2.0 as frustration and rage that how is this filthy animal (as TXJ) better than him at magic and he needs him, how did he have to put up with him slobbering over pristine Hua Binan (which HB magicked as control method but we all know he is not good at responsibility), why does he get CWN aka the toy Hua Binan wants, why can’t he control him fully blah blah. These are all psycho reasons to hate someone but I could at least follow the warped logic.

But it doesn’t explain the disgust and sheer sadistic pleasure he feels in the scene where he puts the flower into Mo Ran - a traumatized 14/15 year old who’s literally just experienced the first short stretch of decent life in his whole existence - and if Shi Mei doesn’t know the true horrors of his past, even the story he does know sounds awful. Here is a 14/15-year old kid who’s been rescued from almost being burned to death, an orphan, who’s had such a rough upbringing he has to be taught to read and write at his age, who eats as if he’s starving at every meal, and who’s been nothing but nice to Shi Mei. And the sick, twisted pleasure Shi Mei gets in lording it over him, the superior disgust he feels for Mo Ran, the delight he takes in his pain and horror - that is pretty much the grossest part of the book for me and that is saying something because 2ha has so much awfulness in it. Shi Mei is incapable of appreciating the sacrifice Mo Ran is making, or the kindness and selflessness that entails, he is incapable of being “well, I hate doing this awful thing but I have a noble goal” or even being dispassionate about it - he genuinely enjoys it. Just like Mo Ran, he’s had a childhood of no power (though significantly less bad than Mo Ran’s, I note) but instead of trying to save earthworms, he enjoys when it’s his turn to oppress someone.  

Even as Taxian Jun, a mad puppet, there remained enough there for Mo Ran to give a monastery a ton of gold for their association with the person who saved him from starvation. Hua Binan repaid all his saviors and friends with torture and death. And he feels zero guilt about it.

And I’m very into this take on the way he hates Mo Ran. I didn’t quite pick up on the fact that his disgust and sadism towards him was there from before anything even happened. I’m still puzzled by it– not that Shi Mei could hurt him so much, but that he zeroed in on Mo Ran specifically, given that not only did Mo Ran do nothing to harm him, he didn’t even do anything to particularly rub Shi Mei’s face in the contrast between them? Oh… until the confrontation over the flower. Did it start there or was it going on before that?

It wasn’t about luck, or he would have hated Xue Meng the most. Was Shi Mei mad because he could tell that Chu Wanning chose Mo Ran in a different way to how he chose Shi Mei (regardless of how he intended to repay it)? Did he just hate Mo Ran particularly because being around someone so apparently uncomplicatedly happy was irritating? Did he really not particularly hate him until he gave himself up for Chu Wanning, for obviously being traumatized and not hating the whole world, making completely opposite choices?

 I don’t think it was personal per se, not at the start - nothing I read gave me the sense that Shi Mei in the flower insertion scene was happier than he’d have been to lord it over Xue Meng or even some random disciple. I mean, I am sure there must have been some “why does Mo Ran has a charmed life with a loving uncle who rescued him” - which is of course insane since even going by official story, Mo Ran had a terrible time and his uncle rescued him but he rescued Shi Mei too, Mo Ran got accepted by CWN but so did Shi Mei etc.

But ultimately, I think Shi Mei is enjoying it so much because he views himself as powerless and oppressed and member of powerless and oppressed group (and he’s not wrong, mind you) and you know how some people are abused and grow up lovely people and some people are abused and turn into abusers themselves? It’s kind of like that - he’s been oppressed and powerless and that turns into him relishing being able to have some power by oppressing someone weaker than he is.

There is a wonderful Kipling poem, “A Servant When He Reigneth,” which makes a great point about a disaster when someone unqualified is in position of power:

He knows no use for power Except to show his might. He gives no heed to judgment Unless it prove him right.   Because he served a master  Before his Kingship came, And hid in all disaster Behind his master’s name, So, when his Folly opens The unnecessary hells, A Servant when He Reigneth Throws the blame on some one else.   His vows are lightly spoken, His faith is hard to bind, His trust is easy broken, He fears his fellow-kind.

It’s a long poem, but this is the most appropriate bunch of lines, and I think really appropriate not just for Shi Mei but for a lot of people where sure sometimes mistreatment/lack of freedom to be yourself/being treated as subhuman can still lead to a heroic person who wants better for others that what he got for himself, who does not hate the world but wants to better it - Mo Ran and Chu Wanning (or Gu Mang from Meatbun’s other masterpiece Yuwu) are a great example of that. But much more likely, if you treat someone as subhuman, they will eventually turn into Shi Mei and not Mo Ran. I do not condone what Shi Mei did and loathe him, but it’s the horrible world they all live in that created him and his actions.

After all, when you are not human, why should you care about humans? If you are a thing, are you even capable of taking responsibility for anything? Of course not! Have you noticed that unlike Shi Mei 2.0, who I will never like but who is certainly redeemable by any objective definition, Hua Binan never admits to ANYTHING being his fault and not because he’s in denial but because he simply cannot see the most blatant causation possible - with a straight face he tells CWN that he never killed anyone as he enjoys commanding a puppet who has murdered most of the world at his compulsion. This is the equivalent of saying no, I didn’t shoot this man, the gun did! Hua Binan accepted his dehumanization and turned it into a weapon.

OK, digression worthy of Montaigne’s approval over, to get back to the hate thing. Yes, I think in the flower insertion thing, it’s enjoyment of lording it over someone, stepping on someone. Later it’s impatience that Mo Ran is not succumbing as quickly as he wants and that he, HB, has to put up with slobbering etc.

“At any rate, one of the most horrific things to me is the sense of deliberateness I get from Hua Binan. Like Mo Ran’s one voluntary Day of Murder is so much a lashing out in agonized self defense that it barely feels voluntary. And generally the defense goes “they were pushed to this extremity.””

Moran x Chu Wanning ExcEpt make it modern, them lesbians, and give Moran a mommy kink

So would he have a l@ctation kink too?????????

bonus:

in conclusion:

AU where Sokka’s high-on-cactus-juice encounter with the giant mushroom takes a dark turn. (Also he has a gun)

based on this beautiful tumblr post

bonus:

Because that was amazing to read.

this line, friends, this line, is such a pet peeve for me and i guess it's just another example of lost in translation. in it's original Chinese, this line was so much more pitiful and so much more painful than it's English counterpart. like there's so much of mo ran's painful backstory laden behind it.

explanation and analysis under cut-

Running on Air by eleventy7

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

This is one of the first fanfics I read seriously, and I did it the day before my prelims paper.

I still don't regret it--this is one of the most hauntingly gorgeous things that I have ever read and builds up in a fantastic slow-burn with a shroud of mystery wrapped around it. Cannot recommend it enough.

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by reiya

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.

Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.

This is beautiful. I absolutely adore this au, with an amazing enemies to lovers scenario.

It is a what it could have been, perhaps even more dramatic than the original, and somehow, some things turn out the same anyway.

The Art of Burning by @hella1975

Zuko had never excelled at anything. Azula was a prodigy. Uncle always knew what to say. And Father... Father was strong, iron-like. But Zuko had only ever been good at surviving. Putting one foot in front of the other in a grim show of stubborn determination, gritting his teeth and bearing it. Survival was all he had ever been taught. He knew how to do it. So when he was kidnapped by the Southern Water Tribe, he expected to fight as he always had. He didn’t expect to be taught instead how to live.

In a warring land, the Water Tribe forgave the enemy in an act of defiance. For this, he was torn from them, and this time, his wounds won't heal so easily.

Forced back into nothing but survival, the last person Zuko expected to see was Hakoda's son. Hakoda was a promise of safety. The relentless blue of Sokka’s eyes was a promise of happiness. Zuko could have both if he just reached out his hands, but he found them clutching into fists. After all, he’d been burned one too many times.

But hey, at least between Hakoda and Sokka, Zuko could appreciate the family resemblance of pure, asinine stubbornness.

Can I just say how amazing this fic is?

I went into it for the zukka and instead got an absolute masterpiece, with some of the best character dynamics, plot and stunning writing.

I love it so much and I know that this is another one that I will keep coming back to when it's done.

Anachronism by chellethewriter

Catra clenches her fists. She won’t let it happen. She won’t endanger their future. “We can’t change anything. We’ll just have to wait, and do everything the same way we did before.”

Adora grabs Catra’s shoulders. Her grip is so tight, it’s nearly painful. “But do you realize what that means for us? Playing along. Letting things go the exact same way as before–”

Catra’s expression darkens. “I know,” she says, struggling to keep her voice from trembling. “You’ll have to leave. We’ll have to be enemies again.”

*** Years after defeating Horde Prime, Catra and Adora inexplicably wake up in the past—on the day that Adora first found the sword. If they're going to make it back to the present, they'll have to relive their past from start to finish, pretending to be enemies despite being in love. Despite being married. Despite knowing exactly how the story ends.

But it's not easy, waging war against the person you love most.

Okay, it's not easy to make Catra and Adora's past even more painful but this one really takes the cake.

Going through these horrible, painful events--pitted against the person you love most once again, just to get back to the future you remember?

It is breathtaking, highly recommend.

area cryptid upset no one bothered to inform him of his tragic backstory by crimsonseekers

“My life is a nightmare,” Dabi muttered blankly.

“Nah, this is hilarious,” Hawks said, and while he wasn’t explicitly laughing, Dabi knew that those weird little chirps he was letting out were pointed at him. “Imagine if we go through all this effort and you don’t even have some sort of dramatic background or tragic backstory to justify you being this emo, you’re just a hot topic junkie or something.”

“That’s fucking worse.”

Or,

Dabi has amnesia and keeps reading conspiracy theories about himself in an attempt to figure out who he is, gets the League in on it, and they dismantle organized crime, revolutionize society, and ravage the hero system in the process. Hawks suffers.

Dabihawks is such a good ship and this is god tier content right here. I read this fic and then two days later immediately reread it. Enough said.

(I really shot myself in the foot with the whole top 5 so instead, I'm just giving all the top fics from the fandoms that I have)

Lynchpin by @shanastoryteller

He can’t get Jin Guangyao’s words out of his head.

If he’d only believed in Wei Wuxian, if he’d only been willing to stand up for him, could it all have been avoided?

Yunmeng Siblings get to live happily ever after because Jiang Cheng changes the timeline.

The fix-it fic where the entire cultivation world is saved from ruination with the help of time travel and a good bit of communication.

Company by galori

You’ve never minded eating alone (before.)

Or: Asami and Korra are both intelligent, just in different ways.

Modern au where Asami is the CEO of a company with the stain of her father's legacy and Korra is an ecologist who wants to create and protect to the best of her abilities. Their paths intersect and once they do, there is no untangling them.

Not enough people have read this--everyone go read this now, it is absolutely amazing.

What the heckkkk, which of these ISNT a troll??

It’s sung to the tune of The Ants Go Marching One By One song!!!

Oh, my god. I’m already crying with asexuality included.

Now you’re telling me other groups feel the same way?

There’s legit tears down my face.

The drag queen is holding a BLM sign.

There’s a Hijabi on the all races float (and if you look closely at the flag, I think the owl is indigenous).

One of the babas is disabled.

They could have just stopped at including all the flags.

But no. They said “I don’t care if they’re animals. I’m going to make it very clear we’re including all races and disabled people.”

And it’s such small details, but they’re there.

And I consider myself pretty versed in queer identities, but even I don’t know what some of these flags are.

Which really shows that you’ve never had the opportunity to feel validated like this, and that makes me love it even more.

Pride, Progress Pride, BLM Progress Pride, Lesbian, Gay Man

Trans, Nonbinary — Dolphin wheelchair user, Top surgery beaver

Gender Queer, Genderfluid, Intersex Demigender, Demiboy, Demigirl, Bisexual, Pansexual, Asexual, Demisexual, Gray Asexual, Aromantic — Blind bird

Bigender, Genderflux, Omnisexual, Neutrois, Maverique, Pangender, Drag — llama(?) with prosthetic leg

and in a KIDS show, like that’s insane, people will finally grow up knowing it’s ok to exist

(sorry for bad quality)

if not what are you even doing

its called “My Son is Probably Gay” (alternative titles include Uchi no Musuko wa Tabun Gei, うちの息子はたぶんゲイ)

it’s abt the relationship between a mom and her son who tries his hardest of not being the adorable obvious fool he is having crushes on boys

consider:

absolutely adorable style (especially the mom omg just look at her)

very new manga, started in Sep 2019 I think? a lot of room for updates in the future!

a mother being so absolutely loving of his son she appreciates everything he tells her and instead of growing up in society’s mold of what a “man” is, she wants him to express himself and embrace everything he holds dear to his heart

ohngmy god she is who i aspire to b e

here are two snippets of the series!!

—

(hopefully it works, im on mobile!!)

this scanlation was done by pomnavi, so also consider tossing a few bucks to them so they can afford doing the stellar stuff they do!

I tried using the pixiv link in the picture above, but unfortunately it didn’t work and navigating on the site is hard with no Japanese language skills. if anyone could help out, i’d like to also post the pixiv link!!

EDIT:

I just found out that Vol 2. will be released!!

hell yeah!! yall who can please go support him!!

———-

ps. here’s a third snippet!