The Gay Nerd

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019)

“Which of these titans are here to protect us?“

Me: “How rare?”

Phone: Alarm is set for 4 hours and 37 minutes from now.

Me:

A cute woodland sprite! A mischievous boy, currently casting a spell on some mortal to tie their shoelaces together. 9/10 why is he wearing board shorts?

Oh man. Oh bro. This one is rough, from the color palette reminiscent of a Claire’s final clearance sale, to his oddly positioned hidden foot, to his vacant death stare. 1/10 give him a pair of pants.

This one is more representative of a fairy, it doesn’t convince me a tiny fey creature is living in my phone like the others. His head is not connected to his body, which is somewhat disturbing. 3/10.

This looks like Samsung saw the Apple’s Man Fairy on TV as a child before google existed and drew it in his school notebook from memory. 7/10 he did a pretty good job.

This looks like the love child of Tinker Bell and Winnie the Pooh. I don’t like to call things “childhood ruining” but if I ever do this’ll be the first. 2/10 at least give him ears.

A drastically different approach from Facebook, this is not your run of the mill sweet fairy boy. He came from a distant frozen wasteland. He has never done a good deed in his life, not once. And he wants to fucking RAGE. 10/10 I’m genuinely scared.

This is just the tooth fairy. 2/10 I have a personal grudge (my teeth were worth FAR more).