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@gavamont-clone-2
There once was a wizard of plaster
A great artist, but also a bastard
For he’d stick to all things
Even snatch wedding rings
But it’s pardoned for with sculpture he’s a master
The wizard of plaster of Paris
With pale white skin he's the fairest
But mostly it's dust
Though he makes a good bust
And he'll make a right mess of your terrace
👀 he makes a good bust? 👀
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Don’t do this to me KNW! I’m trying to manifest an aura of mystic magic!
I've never met a Gavamont in any universe who didn't keep their faces at least partly concealed. It seems to be one constant across realities.
I did meet a Gavamont from an alternate dimension once who hid his face by always wearing a cheap plastic Barney the Dinosaur mask. I... I think there may be something seriously wrong with that dimension.
Oh. I just don't have a face under here. My head is literally a floating T-zone with cheeks. I'm not even sure if I have visible ears
I have a tragic backstory with my facing getting deformed in a magical experiment. But I try not to let that shape my personality too much.
I’m a Gavamont first and a phantom second.
I made a new kind of dungeon I’m calling The Front Rooms.
It’s a reception area where there’s a really attractive punk rock girl working the desk and she has headphones on. Every time you build up the courage to talk to her and ask for directions or to buzz you in to advance in the dungeon she doesn’t hear you and sometimes she’ll take off her headphones, but only when you’re too quiet and shy and she says she can’t hear you. She then goes back to illustrating some kind of highly bisexual punk comic zine.
It’s driven several Midwest emo adventurers to madness. I’ve looted a lot of lighters and wired headphones from them.
Ummm....
Is she....
Is she real or illusory?
And if she's real, could you put in a word for me?...
Aw who am I kidding.....
It’s so hard to say! But you can’t be a creeper and try to touch her or something. It’s my most devious puzzle yet!
Wait... the Midwest still exists in your dimension?
Did the Ghost Meteor Storm of '08 not happen there?
When Ghost Meteor Storm happened in ‘08 for my dimension they were actually a shoegaze band from West Des Moines.
Not as deadly, but I did recently hear one of their songs in an ad for some new Hyundai.
In my dimension the '08 Ghost Meteor Storm was a legendarily large bowl of a particularly spicy party punch that was infused with a particular kind of spirit, if you catch my drift. Still killed a lot of people in the Midwest, but there were survivors who had cast liver-fortifying spells.
In my shittier dimension, Ghost Meteor Storm of ‘08 lasted for 3 months and aside from killing a lot of people it also got my favorite alt rock band to cancel their farewell tour before I could see any of their shows. 😔
Got transported to a realm where every one and everything was made of wood. It was whimsical at first, Lincoln log houses, simple posable dolls for people, farm animals were just simple carved figures, and other whimsical things.
But then I put out my wizardly smoking pipe on a sawdust pile that was supposed to represent a pile of sand for a construction site. But that did not stop it from acting like normal saw dust and basically I set the whole realm on fire.
I need to get into the dimensional insurance game. There's currently nobody alive in that dimension to collect, right? Might be able to make some money with a touch of the time travel
But that means you could go back in time to stop the disaster…
It’s a dangerous day, being both the longest day and Father’s Day. Making this the day for the legendary beast…
The Longest Dad!
😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏
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More like Milf's Monster Manual, amirite????
Or Dilf’s Monster Manual if you’re on the minotaur page.
There once was a wizard of mail
Who delivered and would never fail
With his arcane night
Any weather he’d fight
When he gives you his package, it’s a tale
I wanna know what that mail carrier is carrying 👀
The tavern keeper says I can’t bring in my new familiar because it will disturb the patrons. It’s this normative behavior that keeps people stuck in there ways.
We need acceptance for unconventional familiars like my crab that has a human face on the flat of its back that sporadically says the word “blood” in the voice of a sad old man.
Um. I actually don't think we need acceptance for that. I think we need to bring back shame, maybe even bullying, for guys like that
I think we should boil that thing alive and see if it says something different. And then possibly eat it with butter and lemon.
She Gor on my gon til I turn to stone.
She lisk on my basil til I turn to stone
She cato on my blepas til I'm killed instantly
She chime on my era til I die from a variety of animal attacks.
I cursed a duck today. Didn’t even know it personally. I’m just that fucking evil.
I love you but please turn off ur orb or give me a call. I cannot support hate. Please stop this. I know this isn't your heart.
Because you said this, I just cursed a passing pigeon. His life is now rueful and full of woe.
I’m just that evil.
I knew that pigeon! He was an upstanding member of the community!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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homunculus facts¡
homunculi do not have birthdays in the strictest sense•
which means we can celebrate whenever we want¡
give me presents•
this is not a request•
(҂`_´) ︻╤╦╤─
Please don’t hurt me, I hav e a homunculus at home!
Just take this hand written card and lego set and let me go.
mmmm••• legos•••• (◕෴◕)
Bad news @numamazza you won’t get to eat that Lego city firehouse. 😔
It was gonna be such a funny pun to have it be a firehouse sub. 😔
(╥﹏╥ ) i’’ll just eated it in mÿ imagination•
just make him buy you a new one• say it,s your birthday too¡
(҂`_´) ︻╤╦╤─
you’’re rigħt• your pæycheck is my legolunch•
😔 I am beset on all sides. Wizard city is making the youths so rough these days.
Sometimes you conquer a quest, and sometimes, the quest conquers you.
Which is to say, I have been captured by the gargoyle king, and he doesn’t look like any of the glam rock stars of the 80’s.
I can polymorph him into a decent Freddie Mercury if you want. Won't change the personality, but I can't vanquish him, so this is the most I can help.
Well if anyone is cool enough to be Freddie Mercury the Gargoyle King, it would be you.
And you promise to free me from this prison full of spooky muppets?
Dude. I literally said I can't vanquish him. I can just make your torturer look fantastic. The rest is up to you and that ragtag bunch of cuter muppets you met on your way in.
🥺you won’t take his place? But you were killing it at karaoke last weekend🥺
He's literally a gargoyle
And? Are you telling me David Bowie looked like a goblin? He didn’t even put on pointy ears!
You're going to get your clone eaten, man.
Whatever, if he’s not up for it, I’ll free Gavaprime and usurp the throne!
… So I’m in the dungeon now and being tormented by something that will introduce children to the idea of body horror. 😔
Sometimes you conquer a quest, and sometimes, the quest conquers you.
Which is to say, I have been captured by the gargoyle king, and he doesn’t look like any of the glam rock stars of the 80’s.
I can polymorph him into a decent Freddie Mercury if you want. Won't change the personality, but I can't vanquish him, so this is the most I can help.
Well if anyone is cool enough to be Freddie Mercury the Gargoyle King, it would be you.
And you promise to free me from this prison full of spooky muppets?
Dude. I literally said I can't vanquish him. I can just make your torturer look fantastic. The rest is up to you and that ragtag bunch of cuter muppets you met on your way in.
🥺you won’t take his place? But you were killing it at karaoke last weekend🥺
He's literally a gargoyle
And? Are you telling me David Bowie looked like a goblin? He didn’t even put on pointy ears!
You're going to get your clone eaten, man.
Whatever, if he’s not up for it, I’ll free Gavaprime and usurp the throne!
*bear lumbers in* Am a wizard too. Not druid, druid have stinky sandals.
Mmmmuh staff n everything. *beholds the implement*
*it clearly was once a potent, arcane staff, but someone has haphazardly attached two axe blades on either side of it at some point. It also stinks of salmon and raspberries.*
*polishes the beer mug as I size you up*
Ya know, I’ve seen wizards of all shapes and sizes, and they e all got one thing in common: they all have a magic object they love. It’s a staff or a wand or an orb or even an amulet. And ya know what? That’s admirable. You pour love into an object, it can treat you well and do what you need.
*pours you a wizard ale*
Your staff may look like an axe, but you love it. And I can tell it does some great spells.
Now you enjoy yourself and remember to shit in the woods.
Now we just need to get Leo of Chicago to become a wizard. Or maybe he already is? The headwear is certainly wizardly
Wizards, Catholics, and bears, oh my!
*Rubs a magnet across the screen*
Try to pop up on my new 320x240 crt again and I'll give you worse! This would never have happened if I picked the fish tank
Ooh who's that saultry little binch on the ruhgt?
He seems friendly. Trust him. He will lead you out.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
homunculus facts¡
egg•
•ƃƃǝ •
•
e
g
g
•
•
ƃ
ƃ
ǝ
•
Suddenly the serpent doesn’t want to eat its own tail? News to me.
i call bullshit• my tattoo shows a serpent eating it's tail• i see those all the time•
If you get 3 more of those and a snake compatible chassis, you could make an ouroboros Subaru, which is also my go to vocal warm up before I do stand up comedy.
I have an onomatopoeia Subaru. Vroom vroom
I drive a Chevrolet movie theatre.
Which is to say someone stole my snake tires and I just sit in the back seat watching wizard movies on the little pop down tv.
