Gatorceri

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQUnGVhCYqs)

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQUnGVhCYqs)

     So I am sitting here in class with two of my classmates talking about the Bible. I am trying to keep my opinions to myself and not say a word because logic just tends to escape people that talk about the Bible and they were both being illogical about what they were saying.

     Well, the Cosmetology class came and invited us to their Geisha they are having. No one in my class knew what a Geisha was until I opened my mouth and exampled what a Geisha was. Well, I wish I would have kept my mouth shut now. They are doing nothing, but judging and saying they are not going because of the one gay guy is dress as a Geisha.

     Well, I finally jumped in when one of my male classmates say “I am not going because what he is doing is wrong.” I stayed quiet when a female classmate in my class said something to him. He then said “It is not judging if you are not doing the same thing they are doing.” I shock my head because that logic did not make any sense to me. I finally said “Your logic does not make any sense. You are judging him because he wants to dress like a girl and be with a guy.” He replies “In the Bible it says it is not judging. It is explaining to him what he is doing is wrong.” I reply “That is fucking judging!!! If you believe your Bible so much then you know that only God has that right and not you!!!” he then goes off spatting out other stuff about the Bible and at this point I just do not care so I spat out “Well, it is Christians like you that piss me of and hate being a Christian. This is why I started believing in the Norwegian folk lore of Asgard. If you do not like it, then you can judge me all you want. At the end of the day it is only the one true god that judgement that matters and not your bloody bigot judgement.”

     After that everyone in class started telling me off for not believing in God and that I am going to go to hell if I do not believe in him and so on. I said “Why do you care if I go to heaven or hell. None of you like me anyways. I am allow to believe in anything I want free of judgement and persecution. That is my right as a United States citizen and if you do not like it then I can care less. Frankly, from how you guys act and carry on you should be worry about whether or not you guys are going to heaven or hell and not me. All this judging, breaking “God’s” ten commandments like you do, and all this hating one another is what is going to get you in the end. I live judgement free because I can care less about what people think of me and to me it does not matter what you are, the colour of your skin, what you say, and so on as long as you are you. If you want to judge me base on this then I feel sorry for you, but you are letting our government win by trying to keep everything segregated. These are the reasons why I feel like I do not belong in the United States. You cannot say anything without offending someone or being attacked because you believe in something different than other.”

     I looked at them with all of them being quiet and than added “If you are to look around in this classroom I am part of a minority. There are only three white students in here and that includes me since it says I am on every document. I am also the only nonreligious believer in here. I am also the only one of you that think logic and not emotionally and I do not care at this point if I make an A in this class or not. It is the Bs and Cs students that actually tend to do better in a career than As. Leave me alone and leave me out of you guys logic because apparently logic with you guys has left the building.”

Darthiplier by Gatorceri

Septic Eye Kenobi by Gatorceri

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8D18vXQB3Y)

Before I get started, everyone is fine that I know of.

Back not all that long ago I posted up about my friend that tried to kill himself and how I manage to stop it. Well, yesterday I got a text from my friend’s boyfriend telling me my friend was on his way to Michigan. It caught me off guard a little, but I did have a feeling that it would happen since I knew my friend better than he does since he reminds me so much of my older brother that killed himself. Anyways, my friend left and is putting himself back into the situation where he tried to kill himself when his boyfriend and me was trying to help him get over his family. I seen this happened with my older brother and it really has me sick to my stomach knowing that there is nothing I can do now to help him.

For those that do not know, my older brother is actually my cousin. My mum and dad adopted him because his mum, my aunt....., kept tossing him out of her house while he was growing up. Well, when my older brother got older he tried to get to know his real mum and everything was fine until she wasn’t getting what she wanted from him and she would toss him out like she did when he was a kid and he come back home to our family.The last time he left he asked me to go with him to help him get his stuff from his mum’s because he was done trying to let her in his life. He asked me this so late at night and I had school the next morning. I told him I could not. He left and that was the last time I saw him alive......Two days later after we had been talking to my brother on the phone we found out from my other aunt that he had killed himself. I was at school and when I got home my aunt and uncle was there. My aunt took my backpack off of me and put it inside before they took me off. They told me about the fact that my big brother had killed himself during the night at his mum’s house. I felt my whole world come to an end right than and there. I don’t really remember what happened after that, but everyone told me when I started asking what happened and when my big brother’s funeral was that I was not myself during that time and the funeral already had happened. The only thing I remember at the funeral now is that my brother’s friend grabbed a hold of me and pulled me into a hug crying on my shoulder. I remember standing there like I was completely numb to the world. After I realised everything and started thinking back to back when he asked me to go with him I started to blame myself for not going. I felt and still sometimes do feel like if I would have gone when he had asked me he would still be here today. Yeah, but I think it is because now I live regret that I feel that way.

Sorry to bore you lot with that story, but I wanted you gators to know where I come from about this and why I see my friends doing the same mistakes as my older brother. My friend went to Michigan because the mother he wants in his life is there, but she has abandoned him so many times in the past with the most recent one being where he moved in with his boyfriend that he has now broken up with. I am worried for my friend because he did talk about the fact that he felt like killing himself every time he had ever lived with his mum. I begged and plead with him to seek some help to try to get past this because I for see it being the same pattern as my older brother, but he just ignored me. I hate that he is doing this to himself, but there is nothing I can do since he is also not talking to me now. I think he has blocked my number. All I can do is pray and hold onto hope. Hope that I will not get a call telling me I have lost someone close to me again.

I am not going to lie, what happened in my past with my brother did some mental damage to me. That and the fact that I lost so many family members that year and I witness my best friend get murder by a drunk driver and held as he breathed his last breath. I lost so many that was close to me that I swore off making new friends and really force myself to try to not to because I was scared of everything repeating again. Since starting my YouTube videos I have made so many friends online and offline because it has helped me realise that I am not alone in this world. I feel like with my friend it has repeated again, but I also know I’ve done what I could and that is all that matters. Yes, it bothers me to no end, but I cannot let this set me back.

OMG!!! SO I am watching @markiplier recording of him, Bob, Wade, and @therealjacksepticeye playing Prop Hunt when this moment pops up. Everyone is laughing about what just happened to Jack and Wade in the armoury. Well, all but poor Jack-a-boy. He looks like he is in total disbelief at what has happened even though him and Wade won. I know at first he was laughing, but in this split moment at 22:43 in the video he looks like he is in total disbelief about Mark’s and Bob’s error cheating ways. I find the whole video funny, so do not get mad and I still love Jack-a-boy and Markimoo.

     I cannot help, but to feel sad with how some of the blogging community is. One person post how they feel about something, what they think about something, or their opinion about something and everyone goes and bloody attacks them. That is wrong no matter what. You would not like it is someone did that to you, so why would you do it to them? You also would not like it if someone did this to you in real life. I have notice things like this here on tumblr, especially just tonight when I went to explain to a women something someone meant and she apparently felt like I was attacking her because the rest of the blogging community, especially the ones that I call fantards, are attacking her because of something she posted. There is such thing as freedom of speech and if you lot do not like what the girl, me, or others are saying than you guys can just simply ignore our bloody arses because when you go and attack us base on or opinions, our feelings, our thoughts, and so on it makes you look like a bastard/bitch to be honest. If you feel like you have to be like this to others than guess what, you have a very sad life and should seriously think about maybe seeing someone to work things out instead of taking it out on others.

     I am sorry if this offends anyone, but it needs to be said. I am tired of looking around and people are afraid to post something about a popular person, about their comment, or about there video because of the fantards that may come after them. YouTubers created communities to help support one another and to get feedback from and not for everyone to attack one another. Can we just go back to being the happy and supportive communities we were originally? I am asking this because I am tired of people having to feel like they have to defend themselves to me when I try to explain something because it can be a simple misunderstanding. Not everyone speaks English and even some has it as a second language, so they may not understand what the person meant.