GareBearrr’s Bulking Journey

I’ve made my goal! It is definitely a surreal moment to know I’ve put on this amount of weight in literally just over a month and a half. Basically I’ve gained just over a pound a day. And I feel and look absolutely massive. The rate of weight gain may have slowed these last 2 weeks but I feel and look so much larger. There’s no denying I’m now a round muscle chub. I never thought I’d make my goal with 2 weeks to spare. To be honest, I figured I’d be struggling to even make it.

I’ve got 2 more weeks of weigh ins. I’m not sure what the goal is going to be now. Maybe 230-235 pounds, which would have me gaining 55-60 pounds in 9 weeks.

I can’t get over these comparisons 🥵 These are the same underwear by the way, Mediums. I’ve stretched those to the max.

Like, the more you eat, the bigger your stomach expands, the more you can eat in the future.

The more you overeat, the bigger your portions will become, and the more often you'll feel hungry between meals.

The more you snack, the more often your body will 'expect' to be fed.

The more fast/junk food you eat, the more often you'll feel cravings for those foods.

The fatter you grow, the less you'll be able to exercise. You'll be too big, too heavy, too tired to move yourself around. Your arms and belly will get in the way of themselves. Your body will lose its strength and tire out easier, faster. Meaning exercises become shorter, less effective. More daunting.

The fatter you grow, the less you'll WANT to exercise. All those lazy habits will add up, and you'll prefer to do something sedentary instead. The less you exercise, the easier your body will grow fatter, and the harder it will be to lose weight.

It's like... Once you start gaining weight, your body sets off a snowball effect to become even larger, even faster, and... and...

dude your guess is as good as mine lmfao, bra size calculators aren’t exactly accurate enough for me 😭

Heavy cream chronicles: Day 4

like, he wants to get up for me if i need something. he needs me to tell him the moment i get hungry, or thirsty, or if i maybe just want that book from downstairs. he is proud to open the car door for me if im taking a while to get up and out. he’s offered to help me get up too, but i have to do something for myself, right?? i will take him up on dropping me off at the front of the restaurant so i don’t have to walk, though..

i just love the eagerness, that look in his eyes when we’re out shopping for snacks or something and i can’t decide between one or two boxes, mango or peach flavor, one or two entrees. the answer is always either “both,” or, “get them all”

and i am certain he’d be more than happy to help as i get bigger, too. i already can’t see my feet but i know he’d help tie my shoes when i am finally too heavy to lean over and do it myself. he’s already talked about the intimacy of showering together, with little comments on my shower chair and how he’s glad i have it because i shouldn’t be standing for any longer than necessary.

i won’t have to go down stairs to pick up my food order. when we go out, it’s one trip up for me and then he gives me the time i need to catch my breath. if we have things to bring inside, he does it while i recover from the trip upstairs. if i asked, he’d get me some water or a dr pepper.

He’s getting so heavy now, I can barely keep up with how much he wants to eat. Every time I feed him, his belly just grows and grows… and he keeps teasing me, asking for more. 🙈

And it's...so much better than you thought

so good you can't actually...stop

Until, months later your both practically glued to the couch 24/7 watching endless porn, takeout containers on the floor, bodies spilling out of your clothes, barely aware of each other as you hammer your pleasure buttons, drowning in dopamine.

Too dumb to remember why you should stop

when i was 164lbs i was walking several miles a day because it was easy and i didn’t have to think about it. i wasn’t going to get out of breath after 10 steps. when i thought about getting from one place to another, the distance didn’t matter at all.

when i was 214lbs, it still wasn’t that big of a deal. i could take 5 flights of stairs up and down to my dorm easily, even if i was out late w friends and maybe drank too much a couple miles from my dorm it still was fine, maybe my feet would hurt if i didn’t wear smthn comfy. my legs didn’t cramp up after 1/8th of a mile.

when i was 259lbs things were only really starting to become a struggle. i’d come across a few chairs that were getting a little tight, i’d finally outgrown a good portion of my wardrobe, i’d had to replace all of my bras once and it was getting to that point again.. but i could still make it to my classes. maybe i’d be out of breath, but it was manageable.

reaching 300lbs was the biggest change so far. i spent my senior year of college eating my way to that goal and it fucking showed. i remember walking across the stage at graduation and actually being a little out of breath. i was proud of that—but things were really catching up to me. seatbelts wouldn’t fit around me, the stretch marks were getting bad.

but the biggest difference now that i’m past even 300 is what i was talking about at the beginning here—distance.

if i want to go somewhere i have to think about the logistics—parking? and even then, are the spots big enough for me to have room to get out? what about the walk inside? can i dress cute, or would i need to wear shoes i can really walk in, because any walking that’s more than from one chair to another is something i have to really consider.

if i forgot something at my place and had just left, i don’t really think about turning around anymore.. because that means the effort of getting out of the car, up the stairs to my place, down the stairs, and back into the car. that’s a lot. i’m supposed to be keeping my steps down, it’s just not worth it to me anymore!! but like a few months ago?? when i was at 300?? i would’ve done it 🤷‍♀️

i don’t take trips into the grocery store anymore. i can walk that distance, for sure, but i get into my head and i’ll be panting by the time i get a cart to lean on. again, not worth it. a hour long grocery trip turns into more time for eating if i could just pick up an order.