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tanzanitedepths

Fanfiction Club: The Rules

This idea came to me when I woke up first thing this morning.

warhammer-40k-fantasy

ask-a-genestealer40k

@askbelisarius-cawl “Cawl, you are making the smaller big guys upset.”

askbelisarius-cawl

“If they can’t handle being showed up by someone better then them then I’d hate to see what happens when a human shows them up by upgrading them…oh wait.”

askrobouteguilliman40k

“OH FOR THE LOVE OF……”

“We are not replacing them, you need to be turned into a normal Space Marine before you can become a Primaris Marine! The first 19 stages of gene seed implantation need to stabilise before you can even start on the three Primaris organs!”

“So in the Emperors name, calm down people.”

(Also note there are quite a few Chapters that ;looked at the Primaris and told Guilliman and Cawl that no thank you, they don’t want any.)

I LIVE

*Insert mad cackling here* Hey people good to see you all again! (Not that many will care to read this.) But it is good to see so many of you still active even after all this time away.

idiopathicsmile

went to a househunters-watching party over the weekend; here’s my impression of the show

VOICEOVER: She wants a historically accurate thirteenth century castle in the heart of bustling downtown L.A. He has his heart set on living in a small metallic orb that would float over a bottomless gorge, beyond space and time. Can this pair of newlyweds see eye to eye???

WIFE: The location is nice but I don’t know about these staircases…I just had my heart set on an escalator made of sand and artisan brie.

HUSBAND: Well it’s definitely not a small floating metallic orb.

REALTOR: That…would defy several laws of physics.

WIFE (squinting): Do you have anything that is simultaneously larger, cheaper, newer, and more historic?

REALTOR: Um.

WIFE: And I need a big kitchen. I love to cook!

(Cut to footage of the wife in her current kitchen, wearing an apron and surrounded by pots and pans. She is hitting a banana with a hammer. On the counter next to her is a pile of doll hair.)

HUSBAND: Yeah, get her a nice kitchen. Of course, I won’t be spending any time in there, ha ha! (His laugh is loud but his eyes are so empty. They are empty all the way back.)

WIFE: And I need a room for my shoes. That is simply non-negotiable.

HUSBAND: Also, if we can swing it with our budget, I’d love a finished basement where I can really unwind and stew in my toxic masculinity and repressed emotion. And hardwood floors.

WIFE: And hardwood floors.

HUSBAND AND WIFE IN EERIE UNISON: Hardwood. Floors. (somehow it sounds like way more than two voices, more like the collective whisper of an army)

REALTOR: Okay, I will certainly, um. See what I can do? Anyway, this next house, it’s a metallic orb hanging on a sturdy cord near a ravine—

WIFE: Well it’s definitely not a genuine thirteenth century castle—

HUSBAND AND WIFE: (stare at each other in open contempt)

REALTOR: Heyyy so why don’t we take a look inside?

thewinterotter

This is the most accurate ever depiction of House Hunters but I’m still stuck on the idea that somebody somewhere thought a PARTY to watch HOUSE HUNTERS was a great idea like why do you hate yourselves.

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Ow... I'm back

So... I am back... I think. It's hard to tell, everything still hurts and the sting of defeat is... well it's more like a knife to the back. But you know what, I am alive! SCREW THE NONBELIEVERS! ALL HAIL- eh, you all get the point. Anyways I am back from my navy career, administratively separated at the training level for leg pain due to adverse reactions to inoculations. Ironically enough I still enjoyed my time up north while in training... I think? Anyways I am now alive (partially) and it's good to see you all again!

a-trex

NOTICE:

Due to the lack of cicadas so far this summer I will climb the trees and scream in their absence

My family use to complain about how quiet and introverted I was. One trip to bootcamp and back and now they think I am overly witty and sarcastic. I may or may not be mildly confused, oh well, it only took two months of mental and physical conditioning to make me conversational. Easy, right?

diseonfire

Going Home

“Don’t die here.” Blood. Cracked teeth. It wasn’t a grimace. It wasn’t anything anymore. Muzzy eyes flicking slow against heavy bile and blood and dirt. Too much weight, too much… “Please don’t die in this place.” Blood. Bone ripped and blackened, scalding in the air. Burning. “Don’t die under this sky. Not under this sun.” The fracturing sky of hale blue and grey and fire. Their hands curled against sodden mud and torn fabric, held against the chest of someone who knew they were the faster dying. The bleeding would not stop and they hadn’t the strength to stem the flow and they, no means to even try at all. Time seemed so infinite, in the midday. “Go home. Please go home.” Go home for me. As engine fire tore at earth and metal screamed in the inferno and sundering ammunition, they watched the world turn and yaw, to the moons of an alien sky and an alien soil. They crawled.

me: [reaches the gates of the underworld]

me: [sees cerberus]

me: puppy!!!! puppy! :D !!!! pup

cerberus: :D! :D! :D!

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awesome-picz

Redditor Is Turning Random People’s Photos Into Movie Posters.

Your_Post_As_A_Movie

ferretfyre

@asilversnake

itsjustpanda

ITworries me how many of these I’d watch.

pr1nceshawn

Animal Facts You Didn’t Know

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

“Ice Bear desperately needs this job in todays economy”

rushmorecadet01

“Ice Bear is ready.”

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

“Ice Bear has put a lot of work into his CV”

gardens-of-kadesh

Quality tech priest banter.

shred

(via https://cdn0.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/002/295/188/large/doug-drexler-def206-018x02-r17-001.jpg?1459891308)

cyrail

Book Cover for: Le Sang du Mirial by gregmks

Featured on Cyrail: Inspiring artworks that make your day better

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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desmuses

by 小林誠 (Kobayashi Makoto)

描かない人には関係ないかもだが、ヤマト復活篇のパッケージ絵の線画。シャーペンで1週間の作業。2010年 pic.twitter.com/yj5X3bxW0V

— 小林誠２２２０ (@makomako713) June 3, 2015

bad40kadvice

Include in your will the desire to be entombed in a Dreadnought for all eternity.

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