garden of secrets

I’m holding on barely

I’m trying to forget you but I’m also waiting for you to come back

did you ever just cancel your plans because you are too fat

I’m so tired of being tired

It’s a different kind of pain when you’re the one who ruined it

we drink the poison our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick

the disgusting feeling you have after telling yourself that you’ll stop eating but then start binge eating.. again..

anxiety fucking sucks. you unintentionally make yourself sad, you feel alone even when you’re not and sometimes you don’t even know what’s wrong

sleep isn’t sleep anymore, it’s an escape

“She loved reading. It allowed her to cry over someone’s sadness when she could no longer identify her own.”

Do you believe you have to destroy yourself to become what someone else loves?

people don’t understand how long words can stay stuck in someone’s mind

skip dinner, wake up thinner

pretending to be happy so I dont hurt the people I love is really hard. I’m tired.

I shut down. I just shut down. No matter how hard I try not to, no matter how bad I know I need help, I shut down and that’s my biggest problem. I shut down when I need someone the most, right when they get close, I distance myself and I hate it. I hate that. It’s hard having trust issues, it’s hard opening up to someone new knowing they’re going to eventually leave. I enter everything, knowing in the back of my mind that I’ll always be alone, I’ll always feel that sense of emptiness and loneliness no matter how many people I have around me. So I’ll always shut down when someone gets close and I don’t think I’ll ever control that. There is no one in this world who has ever really known me fully, they know bits and pieces, but I’ll never open up entirely.

you haven’t felt pain until you get that stomach drop feeling when you hear something you wish you didn’t hear