~Conversely, love IS a Victory March~

Wakes up from hypnosis where he was about to marry a woman he’s never seen before with his mystery girl’s voice, the instant he wakes up then the cute girl he’s actually fallen in love with now has that voice. Then she drops to the floor and has a fish tail, and then the first girl is suddenly cackling “too late!” and bursting out of her skin. So it turns out she’s actually an octopus woman who drags herself over to the real mystery girl - who’s a mermaid?! They’re real?! - and taking her back into the ocean. And Eric has no idea what’s going on here but okay, one of these women is clearly evil and he needs to go after his mystery girl.

And all of this happens/he realizes what he has to do within like, a single minute.

Prior to this he was just living out a sweet romance after having a Meet Cute with a shipwrecked girl, but okay, guess he’s involved in whatever the fuck this is. Acting first, questioning later.

I don't know who you are, you just jumped into the passenger seat of my car and started screaming drive, and I'm so stoned I think you're the Easter Bunny. From this post.

You slapped my ass thinking I was your friend or significant other, and I broke your nose.

I woke up at your place wearing your pajamas. Turns out I was so drunk last night I gave my Uber your address. You didn't touch me, I just started putting them on. Oh God I'm so embarrassed kill me.

(Select language) isn't my first language, so when you were asking me to fight you, I thought you were asking me on a date and bought you flowers.

You walked in on me and your significant other having sex. I swear they told me they were single I'm so sorry.

I was drunk texting my ex, but used your number instead. Whoops. At least you're not my ex?

Our kids got in a fight, so I'm meeting you in front of the principal, a teacher, and our kids have black eyes and bloody noses.

You went to Vegas to celebrate your birthday. I went to Vegas to celebrate my divorce. Guess who's married now? I don't even know your name.

Wait a minute, you're that asshole who ordered 27 pizzas and didn't tip! Who even orders that much pizza??

We're on a double date, but I'm pretty sure our dates like each other more than us. At least you can make conversation.

Oh no, you're the IT person? You're really cute and now you're going to see how terrible I am with computers.

You're that jerk who stood me up! Oh, you were in the E.R.? Now I feel bad.

Some people say that cats don't make expressions but you can see the thoughts in this boy's head plain as day

fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))

me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!