cubitum eamus

The ache of everything unsaid.

i don’t think people understand the pain of reading a slow burn romance book that ends with “ his body was never found”. i have never been this hurt.

when james farrow said “Oliver, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want to hurt the whole world.” and henry winter said “It enabled me to do what I've always wanted most. To live without thinking.”

nothing new, just sitting in my bedroom being all [tell me how all this and love too will ruin us, these are bodies possessed by light, tell me we'll never get used to it] [ if you're intolerable let me be the one to tolerate you ] [I'll love you till my breathing stops, I'll love you till you call the cops on me] [He is half of my soul, as the poets say] [I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal ] [on purpose, i love him on purpose] [I'll take care of you, it's rotten work, not to me not if it's you] [he is more myself than i am, whatever our souls are made of his and mine are the same] [you said i killed you haunt me then] [and yes, I do believe his mouth is heaven, his kisses falling over me like stars] [i love you and that is the beginning and end of everything ] [give me a few days of peace in your arms, I need it terribly ] [tell we're dead and I'll love you even more ] [I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart] [you know damn well for you I would ruin myself a million little times] [I would do anything you want me to, I would do anything for you] [ i wish I could leave you my love but my heart is a mess] [if anybody could have saved me it would have been you ] [I have loved you. I have had to deal with that] [You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope] [I'm still a believer but i don't know why I've never been natural all i do is try try try] [when I don't touch you it's a mistake in any life, in each place and forever] [tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more] [i can take care of myself just fine. no. what do you mean no? no] [one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i'm on baby] [It's good. even when it's bad it's good] [all these people think love's for show but I'd die for you in secret] [because this mess i made i made with love] [i would know him in death, at the end of the world ][i don't know what to do without you, i don't know where to put my hands] [I think I made you up inside my head] [is that too much to expect? that i would name the stars for you?] as usual.

when sufjan said “everything i feel returns to you somehow”…..im literally breathing into a bag girl

when james farrow said “Oliver, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want to hurt the whole world.” and henry winter said “It enabled me to do what I've always wanted most. To live without thinking.”

you can't waste your life btw it's just not something that's possible to do. your mere existence is already a precious and valuable use of your time. the time you spent becoming who you are now was inherently worthwhile

no such thing as wasting your 20s your 20s are for recovering from whatever the fuck happened to you as a kid so that youre ready to get weird with it in your 30s