Antisocial bitch

idk what people want from those of us with cluster b personality disorders, honestly. the amount of times i see/hear ""discourse"" about us that essentially boils down to "but you can just Not Have those thoughts/behaviours!" is staggering. and so we say, okay, fine then, i'll try to vent these thoughts/behaviours in a less damaging way, like a blog - but then we're "encouraging abuse" and "not trying". so then we hide almost everything about ourselves just to feel like we can open our mouths without being screeched over like carrion, but of course then we're fake, and we're manipulating you, and we're lying, and we're hiding such a Scary Disorder. and gods forbid we complain about any of this; watch us be swarmed by militant flocks of people with illnesses that are not ours telling us "i learned to be better, i learned empathy, i learned to push it away"

What I've learned is that people only care if they can feel bad for you. If your disorder makes you unlikable it doesn't matter that you have one. It's only ok not to be ok when it's by someone else's rule. People should help people who could be dangerous more than any other person, because when the time comes that someone finally snaps everyone just cries about how awful what they did is and how they wish they could have stopped that from happening, while immediately continuing to shit on people with possibly dangerous disorders. Not only that, it's always "stop saying mental illness makes people violent!" which in some cases is true but in some it's not, mental illness can definitely make you violent and that doesn't mean you're awful that just means you need help just as much as any other person.

I hate it when your parents are like “I know you better than you know yourself!” Like no you don’t

Like oh, you’re an expert on the inner machinations of my psyche? Name three of my top ten existential dreads

npd is awful because one minute i’ll go from thinking no rules bind me to the morals of society, i am a god, and the next minute i’m needing constant praise and worship to feel worthy of living,,,

me, violently beating back my emotions with a broom: for the last time i said shut the FUCK up

I didn’t plan for a future. I didn’t expect to live

what the hell am I supposed to do now?

you ever talk to someone and instantly realize that they don’t view themselves as a person, they view themselves as “The Protagonist,” and they don’t view you as a person either, but as “Extra #2 (Used in Backstory Exposition)” or “Background Character #8 (Dialogue: “Whoa, that thing you can do is really cool”)

and like, it’s so painfully obvious when you say something “off-script” to their bizarre fantasy wherein you just exist to ask more and more probing questions so that they can continue to monologue to an invisible audience. like they have no patience for anything you have to say unless they can use it as a springboard for some quip

*bottles up emotions* this coping shits easy

When I was little I would make up stories and lie about my life to be more interesting, I did it automatically and it took me a long time to realize it wasn’t normal

yall ever just yearn? ever get filled with the most profound sense of longing for something you cant understand? yall ever crave? ever have an unexplainable ache?

I reblogged this thinking ‘this is so relatable!’ and then realized after that it had been reblogged FROM ME.

how have i not seen this before???

Yesterday I went into a library with my friends for the first time ever and they had to lead me outside because I didn't remember how I got there lol

daddy issues make u a people pleaser but mommy issues make u like. a sociopath