[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere
d e v o n
Not today Justin


η₯ζ₯ / Permanent Vacation

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@gaigafea
[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere

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YELLOWJACKETS 3.04, β12 Angry Girls And 1 Drunk Travisβ
"Repeated trauma in adult life erodes the structure of the personality already formed, but repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality. The child trapped in an abusive environment is faced with formidable tasks of adaptation. She must find a way to preserve a sense of trust in people who are untrustworthy, safety in a situation that is unsafe, control in a situation that is terrifyingly unpredictable, power in a situation of helplessness. Unable to care for or protect herself, she must compensate for the failures of adult care and protection with the only means at her disposal, an immature system of psychological defenses.
The pathological environment of childhood abuse forces the development of extraordinary capacities, both creative and destructive. It fosters the development of abnormal states of consciousness in which the ordinary relations of body and mind, reality and imagination, knowledge and memory, no longer hold. These altered states of consciousness permit the elaboration of a prodigious array of symptoms, both somatic and psychological. And these symptoms simultaneously conceal and reveal their origins; they speak in disguised language of secrets too terrible for words.
Chronic childhood abuse takes place in a familial climate of pervasive terror, in which ordinary caretaking relationships have been profoundly disrupted. Survivors describe a characteristic pattern of totalitarian control, enforced by means of violence and death threats, capricious enforcement of petty rules, intermittent rewards, and destruction of all competing relationships through isolation, secrecy, and betrayal. Even more than adults, children who develop in this climate of domination develop pathological attachments to those who abuse and neglect them, attachments that they will strive to maintain even at the sacrifice of their own welfare, their own reality, or their lives."
Trauma and Recovery: The aftermath of violence βfrom domestic abuse to political terror by Dr. Judith Herrmann (read here)
The girl solves the riddle of the house and flees, carrying an echo in the back of the mind and hope.
Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, from βCarmillaβ

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Being able to endure something does not equal an obligation to withstand it.
[begins to cry]
I think DAILY about this scene when he tries to make the same face as the medusa stone
oh YEAH? well THEN. what if this homosexual dream of perfect metaphysical union is not so much a reflected heterosexual ideal as it is the compensation for having wept in the darkness? you thought of that, mf?
me when the only recourse i have is to live

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Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
[ Begin ID: Text that reads "Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it." / End ID ]
Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres,Β Kitten Sleeping in the Arms of Madame Ingres
Ursula K. Le Guin, "The Dispossessed", Chapter 4.
Emily Dickinson, "Ourselves were wed one summer β dear β" Chloe Plus Olivia: An Anthology of Lesbian Literature from the Seventeenth Century to the Present.
Emily Dickinson, "Be mine the Doom β" Chloe Plus Olivia: An Anthology of Lesbian Literature from the Seventeenth Century to the Present.

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Emily Dickinson, "Like Eyes that looked on Wastes", Chloe Plus Olivia: An Anthology of Lesbian Literature from the Seventeenth Century to the Present.
@stingslikeabee