gaia

Fine. I’ll admit it... I miss you so goddamn much. And the worst part is— I’m sober and you’re still on my mind. It must be this cold weather. The cold reminds me of you because I remember all those nights you stayed with me and made me feel so warm. It’s been over two years and I’m still living in these past memories. It’s pathetic, I know, but they keep me sane. I don’t wanna move on because I’m scared that when I’m finally happy with someone else, that’s when you’ll decide to come back to me. Our hearts are never in sync. They never have been. Mine beats for you. Yours beats for her. But what happens when she’s gone? Or when my heart starts to beat for another? Will you come after me? Because deep down we always want what we can’t have. Right now, if you were to climb my fence and knock on my window, I’d let you climb through and stare at you as you stand next to me. I’d hug you so tight— so tight that our hearts are almost touching. I’d hold you and cherish you as if you were going to die tomorrow. I’d cry. You’d wipe my tears and apologize for taking so long to come back to me. And I’d forgive you because I have a big heart and I’m selfless and kind and so damn in love with you. I’d do anything for you. Why would I waste any time hating you when you’re right there in front of me— holding me and making me feel warm again. But you’re not here now. And I don’t know when or if you’re coming back.... if you do, please make it soon. Because someday, tomorrow will be too late.