Where do you think it all went?
All those snacks, those sweets, the leftovers, the second helpings. All gone, aren't they?
It's never any one thing you choose to eat, it's that you eat everything now.
There's never enough for you. There's no planning, or portions. There's just the constant deliveries of food, whatever you've got in front of you, and whatever you're dreaming about eating next.
Your body used to have definition, but that's gone too, isn't it?
Round curves and folds replacing every inch where muscle and tone used to be, soft and swollen and stretched from your chins to your chest to your thighs. Fat bulging and hanging and folding onto itself, your body struggling to find enough places to keep all the extra weight.
Did you notice that your lap is gone?
Before all of this belly started to push its way across your thighs, swallowing up the space in front of you with this heavy, constant reminder of your gain, you used to have this whole void in front of you, just waiting to be filled.
Where did your manners disappear to?
It's never long into a meal before you've tugged that tight shirt up over your belly to rub. You're past taking small polite bites when you eat, it's huge mouthfuls and food-stifled groans as you force in bite after bite. It's deep burps and heavy breathing, it's crumbs on your chest and smears of whatever you've eaten last on your lips.
Your self-control is totally gone, isn't it?
There's no temptation, or hesitation, or concern about your weight. You eat what you want, order what you want, and watch the pounds pile on, feel your body sink into the weight of the gain. It's not an accident at this point, you're chasing the feeling of being stuffed, desperate to grow softer and fatter.
There were points you thought you'd cut back. You were certain you'd feel big enough at the next milestone, didn't you? That the looks you'd get and comments you'd endure would force some reason back into your habits.
But that version of you is gone now.
You've crushed it under your heft, forced it away bite by bite, stuffing by stuffing, pound by pound.
All that's left is this insatiable glutton you've unleashed, and look just how enormous it's making you.
Keep gaining, keep eating. Let's see what's going to be gone next.
romaincrisis
theartofmadeline
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