Gabby Yan

“that’s it, beautiful. let me get this off for you.”

“thereeeee she is.”

“tell me where you want my hands.”

“nooooo. i said tell me. words.”

“good girl. see, that was soooo easy.”

“if you ask, i’ll always give to you. i can’t deny you anything, babylove.”

“easy. you’re doing just fine. even if you don’t realize it just yet.”

“hold on to me. here. squeeze nice and tight. i’m not going anywhere.”

“there you go, sweetheart. that’s much better, see? you listen soooo well.”

“you’re allowed to want things. you just don’t need to be in charge of them.”

Crash out

Post that callout post

Send any messages to anyone determined to misunderstand you

Believe your dysphoria

Set something on fire

getting to tug her in close and make sure she’s okay, that she’s drank some water. getting to hold her until she’s at bay. then being able to cuddle her, bury my nose into her neck and continually utter the words;

“i love you, i love you, i love you.”

“you took it so well for me.”

“my good girl.”

until she’s squirming just enough. having her pulled back against me with an arm wrapped around her hips, my lips never leaving her neck until we both fall asleep tangled together.

I hope I have a body with skin that is touched by hands that know it

I hope I get to hold my breath

When those eyes glance, knowing

Catch, stutter, unfold

I hope I get to fall in love with the things

I thought I had to

Hate in myself

I hope I get to know the things I know

But new

This time

Seeing through the eyes I looked into

And found a life within

I hope I am a lesbian in every life

I hope I get to sweat and to laugh and chase myself down

In half-light, in summer, in the dark

With you

I hope I am a lesbian

In every life

I hope I get to be

“Back Off Boys, They’re Butch!”