F Yeah Meredith Stepien

We are Cecilia!!! Come see us every week at @iochicago !!! Check the website for our sched!

Here's a warning: your silly gal Meredith is about to talk about sexual assault. If you don't feel comfortable with this for any reason at all, don't read ahead. This is a photo of young me- probably 13. I was disgusted with my own vagina. Penises were funny and vaginas were shameful. The boys I grew up with could talk about their penises all they wanted, and even flash them at us when we least expected it. I was so ashamed of my vagina that I had to find courage to ask my fellow females for a tampon. I rarely even looked down at my own body because it embarrassed me. You can imagine the horror I felt when I was sitting with my first ever "boyfriend", watching a basketball game at his house, when suddenly he plunged his hand down my pants. No permission, no signals of consent. We weren't even holding hands. He didn't take his gaze off the television. I froze, sitting in silence as the basketball game continued, and so did his violation of my body. Minutes went by as I sat paralyzed. He yelled at the players on the screen, trying to play it off like he was not committing the act he'd suddenly started. Finally he said "this is hard, could you unbuckle your belt?" I choked out the words "I'm not ready." He said "what?" I found the strength to repeat: "I'm not ready." He resisted removing his hand. I said "please". He finally stopped. Less than a year later I woke up to the word "Whore" written in toilet paper across my front lawn. He was mad because I had started dating his friend, who told me "this is between him and me. Not you." So why did it make me feel so worthless? I wish I could say this was the last time I experienced assault, but it was not. Nor the worst. A few weeks ago, a man said "I don't even wait. They let you do it. They let you do anything. Grab them by the pussy." Yesterday we elected him as the president of our country. If anyone is trying to understand why so many women are scared/shocked/paralyzed today, my story is one of millions. America turned a blind eye to his words and he won. This post is to let my 15k young female followers know that this election does NOT make it ok for men to violate you. I know it feels like it. It's not. 💛