⌗﹕ Fuyuki

Changing my world to how I wish it to be.

⋆˚꩜｡𓂃˖ ࣪⊹ PLURal, radqueer, profic, subliminal maker

Fuyuki / Yuxuan ──꒰✉️꒱ ❞ ‧₊˚ 20

⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃🎐 ⋆ he / xe ⋆𐙚 ˚ 🇨🇳🇯🇵

Alt acc @divinexinyu

Trace journey :

I would like to start by saying I was born partially asian, mixed with Japanese. No, my other race was not white. I will not disclose what it was since I dont want any part of that race tied to me.

Due to unfortunate cirsumstances my biological parents could not care for me, resulting in me being adopted by a white couple. I do not blame them for what happened, I guess they assumed I was Chinese when they adopted me. They were close to a Chinese family, and them wanted me to grow up with my "culture" they let the Chinese family basically become my second family in raising me.

Because of this, I grew up ethnically Chinese. It wasn't later until I found out I was actually Japanese. As I lived my life as a Chinese person, I couldnt seperate from that identity. This caused great distress in my life as I struggled with what I learned. It was only until multiple years later that I learned about "transracial" and later "rcta", which heavily resonated with me and my experience which started this journey.

˚ ༘ .˚🌱୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ Transids :

Perma

Permadaydreaming, daywalker, inumimi, constraharmed, permaobsessed, permabruised, permaarmbandage

Cis

cisbpd, cisdid, cisautistic, cisadhd, cisasian, cisjapanese, cismedicallyill, cisdisabled, cistraumatized

Tris

trisshscars, trisvictim, trisguitarist, trisvkei

Trans

Transchinese, transorigionalcharacter, transaccent, transamab, transpermahigh, mutojapanese, tracerace, transethnicity, transdoomedyaoi, transmemory, transdiagnosed, transbatwings, transvoice, transfang, transpupil, transjapaneselegend

Thank you. Ive been getting alot of dms and comments mainly on my tiktok with stuff like this.

Sorry for the late reply, but lets get into it! First, lets break down what internalized racism and dysphoria in general is.

“Internalized racism is the internalization of beliefs about racism and colonization that contribute to the acceptance of negative messaging or stereotypical misrepresentations that inform perceptions about worth and ability.” - NIH

“Internalized racism, or appropriated racial oppression, is a phenomenon that people of color (POC) experience when they adopt aspects of racism by accepting negative messaging about their worth and abilities based on their ethnic or racial group membership [1,2,3]. In other words, “the oppressed will identify and emulate the oppressive actions of their oppressor” - NIH

These two paragraphs hopefully will give anyone a goof grasp on internalized racism. Internalized racism is usually complied of these common things ; American beauty standards, devaluation of one’s own group, experience of strong negative emotions related to one’s own racial group (shame, self-hatred, or guilt). It’s all based in White dominant culture and informed by Eurocentric ideologies and colonization.

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In this case, Atypical dysphoria is a more accurate description. While it is not a medically recognized term, it is a common symptom of those who have BIID(Body Integrity Identity Disorder), which a person experiences an intense, persistent desire to have a physical disability. While BIID doesnt include feelings of identifying as a different race and ethnicity, they share very similar symptoms.

Dysphoria in general is simply described as a profound state of unease, dissatisfaction, or general unhappiness. The experience if it is not in general categorized as a mental disorder, but more as an emotional response. Atpyical dysphoria is when a person has dysphoria surrounding uncommon things, including race/ethnicity, age, species, anything as long is it genuinely affects the person on a negative scale.

I’m personally unsure. I haven’t really used dna subliminals or subliminals in general, I used to use appearance and language ones mainly awhile back.

I saw your account on TikTok and I thought talking to you could've helped, you seem understanding. I don't know who else to talk to. I'm a 22 year old man. I was born and raised in Europe, by a European family (not disclosing the country, because I don't want it to be tied to me in any way). My whole childhood, I grew up with interests related to East Asia. Mainly Japan, then South Korea, then China. Of course, as a kid I couldn't inform myself much, all I knew at first was martial arts, anime, manga and donghua (a bit about cuisine, too). Growing up I got into the cuisine, culture, languages, traditions, history, arts. Overall everything, not only the media (since people usually assume that). I never felt at home in the country I was born in. I feel uncomfortable and out of place here. I just don't belong. My father used to force his culture on me and still does, despite me making it explicit I have 0 interest and 0 love towards said culture. Usually, people my age and gender don't feel that way, so I've been keeping it to myself. Until I found out about transracialism. However, I've noticed people usually think that whoever claims to feel connected to China, Japan and South Korea all at once, is a bait or a fetishizer. Ain't my case. Been feeling that way my whole life. I almost feel like I have a soul bond with said countries. Almost like a soulmate, y'know? I've been bullied over this during my childhood, because East Asia wasn't as "trendy" as it is now. I'm glad EA gained the recognition it deserves, but I despise trend hoppers who used to hate and discriminate, then suddenly changed their minds just to follow what's popular. As of now, I don't even know what I am (are there even requirements to be trace?) but I feel like I'll never truly be at home nor accepted because of the way I grew up and I look. Not to mention I would have to save up for years before being able to leave this place, since I have 0 support from my family. The fact "rcta" became a cringey thing on TikTok, makes me feel even worse, because I know I won't be taken seriously. That's it, I just need to feel valid and rant a bit. Thanks for reading.

Thank you for reaching out. First please know that your experiences are completely valid and you are not alone. The only “requirement” to be trace is just to not identify as the race you born into for whatever reason, what you have described to me seems to have some spiritual elements.

Feeling connected to multiple ethnic identities under the same racial umbrella doesnt mean you are a fetishizer or faking, especially if these feelings have persisted for years. The issue stems from mainly tiktok, it was common for baits to fake being trace, claim to be all 3 while portraying very harmful stereotypes and racism.

I have friends who are multiethnic and ethnicfluid, meaning they identify as multiple different ethnic identities and the level of how much they feel as a certain one can fluctuate. I also know many whos trace identity is connected to spirituality, primarily past life connections.

I personally think its fairly easy, primarily on tiktok, but here are a few things ive noticed that are consistent with fetishizes/bait(mostly tiktok)

many fetishizers will have layouts consisting of unrealistic expectations, goals and desires. What I mean is identifying as 3+ ethnicities(usually asian), use stereotypical names, their appearance goals are almost all highly edited people with lots of makeup on(alot of the time its idols). Their accounts for some reason seem to always look “cutesy” or have that try hard aesthetic vibe.

This doesnt mean someone doing some of those things is a fetishizer/bait.

If they use terms RCTA/ECTA or in general show 0 knowledge for about the transrace community, terms, identity and actual struggles, they are most likely a fetishist.

take a took at their content. Take note of now exactly they talk about the race and or ethnicity they are transitioning into. It is extremely easy to tell whether or not a person has done any actual research or if they are just using the identity bc they think said ethnicity “looks attractive”. A stark teller is almost all baits/fetishizers post their previous name and race/ethnicity, usually for attention.

Manys content will revolve around physical appearance and lifestyle on nonrealistic standards. Their goals and desires will be very obvious rooted in media they have seen online and not rooted in an actual want to transition but more “envy” because they perceive said race/ethnicity as “better”(again, mainly based on what the individual consumes online)

most fetishizers I have seen are people who are claiming to be transitioning to Japanese. A common behavior I will see is the romanticism of their culture, denying or overlooking Japans crimes and cultural issues, claiming things come from Japan when they dont and otherwise have that mentality that Japan is “ superior “. ive seen outright claim Chinese and Korean people(img wise) are Japanese as well, showing they think atleast some asians look the same.

like why's there no art about what race dysphoria feels like or how society pushed transabled ppl to death

This is such a great question and I feel it’s important to point out how shunned we are as a community. Most art I see is from smaller creator here on Tumblr and it stays underground, I usually only see art when it comes to like transid pride month.

 I think a lot of radqueer artists may just not want to deal with the potential backlash they could receive from posting art of that sort. Our community is very much harassed, our post get shared and negative lights, we have people in our community getting doxxed and sent disgusting messages.

I know that if a piece of art that depicted those things and more darker struggles that we go through got popular enough, the artist would 100% the mass harassed by antis.