A Bright Star In The North

Cao Zijian could practically hear the cogs working around the boy’s mind. Hear the way he shifted whilst being held. Though Zijian eased his grip on Rui’s form and leaned himself backward, looking over the now tear-stained face of the young, budding prince. 

What was he to say if not the truth? But the truth was a dangerous thing, full of the secrets he and Lady Zhen were never supposed to bring to light. Full of the destructive connections that could bring an end to both of their lives, as once it almost did. 

He took him by the arms, shaking his head very slowly, speaking in a hushed, low tone: “No one can know,” He began, dark tresses falling in front of sunken, tired eyes. “I loved your mother very much and my brother simply did not deserve her. I should have spoken for her when I’d had the chance but… what Zihuan wants, he gets, you see.” 

One hand came to rest upon Rui’s head as Zhi’s breathing evened out, his head shaking from side to side. He attempted to calm himself, his features slowly returning to normal, though retaining their reddened, stained flesh. 

A slight shake of his head sent those thoughts scattering, he'd always been able to entrust anything to the older man, now wasn't the time to be doubting him. If what he said was true, then he had every reason to resent the emperor, and to have offered his support all of these years. To have objectively critiqued his works, to have comforted him after the death of his mother, to have reassured him that despite the emperor's cold demeanor, he was loved...

"I will keep it close to me always, I could never have betrayed you before, so nothing has changed." A gentle smile served to reassure the other, but didn't quite reach his eyes, resting now on the abandoned cup. "Muqin always spoke well of you, but I never would have imagined it was more than respect for a fellow artist... she must have loved you very dearly, to have crossed his majesty in the way that she did."

…”The Emperor is here to see you,” 

                                “That’s nice…”

        “Master Sima You,” 

                                                         ”Nnn…?”

     ”The Emperor is here to see you.” 

It took several moments for the realisation of what those words meant to appear on the apprentice strategist’s features. He leaped upward, nearly smacking his head on the shelf above his bed, and grabbed hold of the robe he kept near the door for emergencies. He near-pleaded for the servant to shut the door as he tied it around himself, running his hands into his hair and half-way tripping over to his desk to scribble down a few notes to make it appear that he’d been busy.

The dark circles under his eyes were there, as well as the random pieces of blond hair that sprouted from and into every direction. He practically threw himself down at his desk as the door opened again— impatient as damn ever, it would seem— 

The steward once again offered his guidance to a hospitable place to wait for the young man, to which Rui declined. "We will simply follow you to his chambers; at this hour, the young master should already be awake, correct?" Of course, he knew full well that his friend was a late riser, but why let that on when he could have a little fun? The steward paled slightly, but relented and gestured the imperial to follow him. He sent a servant ahead of their party to alert the young Sima heir, and found him waiting quietly upon their arrival. Not waiting to be announced, pale digits slid open the door to be greeted by the slight knock of the chair legs settling, he younger male seated messily at his desk.

The excuse was flimsy, at best. Taking a small look around before responding, he took note of the closed shutters, despite the approaching spring warmth. A single layer of clothing made little sense if trying to keep off the chill, and although the light strands were always a touch messy, it seemed he'd put very little effort into his appearance this morning. "Our arrival was not announced? We are surprised that word did not reach you." Waving a sleeve to dismiss the servant and steward, he waited for the door to close before wandering over to open the shutters.

Music

The way the boy’s face dropped was enough to split the poet’s insides in two. He spoke so highly of him, as though he actually deserved to be allowed to do what he wished. As if Cao Zijian had done no wrong in allowing these atrocities to be committed toward such beautiful, gentle flowers.

His majesty’s will? No, it was the decision of a tyrant that had scarred the hearts connected to such a soft and kind being. To someone who had been used and cast away as though she never mattered, just like… Just like before. 

Was it because he’d gotten close to her? Because every living thing his heart had come to touch has to be done away with? Taken away and destroyed until nothing of them even could hope to remain in this world? 

The saline rivers upon Cao Zhi’s face were there before he could stop them, the alcohol in his fingers dropping to spill upon the floor. He grabbed hold of both of Rui’s shoulders instead, scarlet-veined eyes searching his face for some form of truth. 

"I’m sorry,” Zijian’s strained voice whispered, daring to hiss out from between his teeth. Blue eyes dropping down to the floor. His shoulders began to shake from the force of his new, audible sobbing, a constellation of tears forming to shine brightly upon long, thick lashes.

"Zhi there was always something I could have done. There was always that… chance. I could have given myself, if it took. For both of them. For either of them, and yet…” His fingers tightened there hold on him, an arch of his back pushing his head against dark, youthful strands of hair. “I’m so sorry.”

He tugged the boy into him, wrapping his arms around Rui in a death-like vice. His lips pushed against the softness beside him, his muscles straining to keep hold of Rui, as though he would be ripped away from him in just a matter of seconds. His breathing was erratic, taking in the familiar scent of lavender while his eyes squeezed closed. 

"Uncle..." but what could he say? Rui had no clue what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. Should he attempt to console the elder man in some way, or just hear him out? Thankfully he began speaking again, but the words were less than reassuring. "Please, don--" he was cut off by the sudden embrace, the desperation in the poet beyond evident at this point.

Gently, the fledgling wrapped his arms around the slender torso, trying to think of what his mother would have done. "Please," he led in, tone warm and accepting, "dwelling on the past like that isn't good for you. Even if you had... If you'd died in either of their places, who's to say they wouldn't have been killed for anything once you were gone? I don't know anything about the late lady Cui, uncle, but I think that his highness had long been looking for an excuse to be rid of mother." The prince swallowed thickly, breathing accelerating before he managed to will himself calm. "Even if you'd offered yourself, Empress Guo may have had her publicly executed, and then who would I have to rely on?"

It was no good. The affection, the lack of sleep, the subject at hand... warmth pricked at the corners of Rui's eyes, tears rushing quickly down his face as he fought to keep his breath steady, Please... please don't leave me too; you're all I have left...! Thin digits clung to the rich fabric beneath his hands, and his face buried itself into the warm, familiar shoulder.

                                     You are not the fruit of a monster, Rui.

The statement caught him off guard, breath hitching in his throat as he again suppressed a quiet sob. He knew that the eccentric writer held no love for his brother since the death of Lady Zhen, but to deny that Rui was his child..? What purpose did that serv--

                                                       ...Could it be...?

Despite his desire to stop thinking, Cao Rui couldn't help but do so, his brain drawing a reluctant map of intricate connections and coincidences those few words had dragged into the light. Hadn't his mother often spoken of how his father's writing was so full of emotion, how sincere he was, how supportive, even though Rui knew Zihuan to be none of those things?

Had his mother quietly been denying the emperor in another way, in the only way she thought she could, for sixteen years? Was this why no matter what he did, he was never enough for the tyrannical monarch?

"…" Sima Yi stared at the boy for the longest time wondering what on Earth had suddenly possessed him to harass the strategist.

"My Lord, I pray that you put as much enthusiasm in to your work as you do paying attention to my hair"

"Drop that title, my Lord, I’ve retired from that position, I’m merely your tutor now" Sima Yi replied, not at all fazed by the boy’s obvious lies. He seemed to be bad at lying as it is, and his nervous actions only increased his suspicion.

"If you wanted to touch it, why did you not ask? You are allowed to abuse your position just this once"

"Y-yes, Grand Tutor... my apologies." It wouldn't do for the young prince to mistitle the strategist again, and so he was careful to file the information away, despite the fact that he still respected Sima Zhongda as Wei's most capable military commander. Surely he was still involved with exterior affairs in some manner or another?

Staying out all night to watch the stars for no reason other than their beauty? We truly are too much alike.

"…Heh," The sound left him easily, one hand reaching out to the cup that had been settled across from him. "Not everything can be won, Rui.” He explained, tipping it back to feel the elixir burn his tastebuds with the bitter taste of grape. 

Hn. 

"Regardless, I don’t have much choice when your father keeps ordering works to be made. The other officials have their daughters being married and are too lazy to come up with prose of their own. However, at least it keeps my income steady, no?" The young man leaned back upon his hands, one arm lazing upon the top of his kneecap. 

Though as he gazed at the other from his seated spot, he let his eyes drape over the head of dark hair. Over the eyes of blue that had been passed down from their icy beginnings. In that moment, he felt his heart sink in his chest from the year’s past comings. He felt his shoulders become weighted, his eyes lowering themselves to the floor in a solemn sense of solitude.

"His majesty expects quite a lot I suppose, he must truly enjoy your work to commission you so many times, but isn't it just a little unfair? After all, you're only human, he should allow you more rest, if that's truly what's keeping you awake."

Azure sharpened, and the young prince's analytic mind became suddenly restless. "I know that it's something you would be doing in your spare time as it is, but I will attempt to speak with him about it, about all of it. His majesty doesn't truly pay my opinions any mind, but not allowing you to hold offices because of his paranoia that you'll usurp him is absurd. Working you to exhaustion is a way to keep you from having time to think or complain, I expect, but... it's difficult to watch."

Well this was hardly a surprise. It seemed that each time he came into contact with his aunt, she had a new way of greeting him. The last time however, had proven disastrous for his books, so he was glad that she’d opted for something as gentle as teasing his hair.

"I used to when his hair was longer…" She explained lightly, all while still threading her fingers through silky tresses. "Either way, you take very good care of yourself… It’s very nice… Such as I would expect from my precious Nephew."

Looking down at the small armload of books he carried, the youth began to list them off obediently. “Laozi, Shijing, and a few texts on various strategies… nothing of much interest to many, but all truly worth a very thorough digestion." Her next comments were a little puzzling, and the young man tilted his head in confusion.

Zhi shifted upward, reaching one hand back to draw back the dark, inky strands of hair upon his head. It was always pleasant to have Rui visit him, though perhaps not this early. He never was a morning or, really, a day person at all. He would stay up until the wee hours and then collapse wherever he’d lost his ability to move, almost always out just as he hit the floor, table, or wherever else he would fall. Luckily, however, he was a silent sleeper. 

"The window should be closed, yes. I would also appreciate the wine," He replied easily, settling his brush back upon the desk that sat not-too-far away. "What are you doing up so early…?" 

The way the room lit up caused him ache in his temples, one hand reaching up to press against his forehead and ease the pain in gentle, rubbing circles. He much preferred the dark of night that brought his creativity spiraling into oblivion. 

Sapphire orbs moved curiously over everything in the room, deciding to try the closet first. Pulling open the doors silently, he began to rifle through the things in the very back of the piece of furniture. "What do you mean 'cannot be won'? Any battle can be won, shūfù, with the right amount of support and resources." He called from inside, finally emerging with a stoppered wine bottle. Closing the doors and moving to the bedside cabinet, the young nephew took a small cup and returned to his uncle's side.

"Oh…um… I just call you uncle. Let me see what my Mundane’s phone autocorrects your name to. That’s how I came up with Romeo for Rui…" 

"MUNDANE!!"

…