Y'all need anything?

The couple seconds before the moment they realize what's going on.

this has given me so much serotonin

don’t glorify revolution in history and in fiction if you’re appalled at all forms of protest and change in the present.

my man neil was just making a fun tweet and this cat straight up murdered him

start referring to things you own as “your inventory”

“Jackie did I give you my keys?” “idk lemme check my inventory *rustling in purse*”

“yeah mom hold on one sec I just need to equip my shoes”

the inherent embarrassment of having interests

i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado

why is this so fucking funny

europeans are so funny literally like “i can’t believe americans don’t have fresh bread” what the fuck are you talking about

I can't believe americans think their store-bought sliced bread is real bread

there are bakeries in the united states LMAO i’m not going to argue with a motherfucker about bread

Biggest failing of the internet is that in order to be vibing with my friends I have to actually be talking to them. I socialize like a cat I just show affection by sitting next to you. Ily but sometimes I have Nothing to say. Not a damn thing going on in my head

I don’t want to “have” a “conversation” I want to peel an orange and share it with you

I feel so called out