gotta catch 'em all!

▸ ROBIN ･ 29 ･ SHE/HER ･ ENTP ･ 7w8

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the gist of it is that my friend has decided he wants to try living in the inner city areas while i ummmm do not LMFAO but it's fine because we had some very honest and amicable discussions about it

it was just initially very frustrating because we had already flown out to the city (my first time flying or traveling that far ever btw) and done a bunch of apartment tours last weekend and were getting pretty damn close to actually applying somewhere but. yeah he kinda dropped the bomb on me like "after that lease is up i'd like to move somewhere around here (insert very sketchy and undesirable area) so that was like. activating my fight or flight LMAO

like not only are we not from or familiar with that area at all, but are also two people with a lot of trauma and tendency to have paranoid episodes about safety and stuff 💀 but like overall i respect his decision to want to at least try it out for himself, it's just as a woman who has lived in a much smaller city for a short period of time before and moved to a very small town to get away from it, i was like. NOT down for it lmfao

because i'm the one who did most of the research and scouting and mostly arranged all the necessary details and whatnot. not to be like a control freak but because he's been busy finishing his thesis (which he also recognized and apologized for his previous lack of attention to the matter; like i said, we had a very open discussion and this hiccup is not derailing our friendship or anything). and while i obviously don't have the knowledge or experience of a local, i kinda have an idea of the areas that would be easier for us as ppl not from around there ykwim. and i also lived in a small city for a while whereas he never has outside of being in a large college town near a big city. so i was just kinda worried at first because he's not exactly… the most resilient or intimidating individual LOL (i'm often the "HE ASKED FOR NO PICKLES" for his gay autistic ass [i say this with so much love in my heart])

anyways it's all fine and resolved at least on the "figuring out which steps i need to take now" front, because yeah, they have already found someone else to live in my current apartment when my lease is up. because the mfs ask 8 MONTHS AHEAD OF TIME for notification of lease renewal (absolutely ridiculous) and i told them half a year ago i would be moving. and even tho my lease still has a few months on it, they already jumped on the opportunity to find someone else.

property management guy said he would help me find another unit if necessary because tbh they kinda like me cuz i don't act a fool LMAO but yeah i'm figuring out what to do. i could technically still move with my friend but i don't feel comfy going to a new city on my shitty budget because it'd probably not be much different than just moving into the areas he wants to go lol. like i'm not from around there idk the whole vibe. we toured in a bunch of suburban places that i can't afford by myself and i don't feel comfy finding a random roommate due to my specific issues. i'd be fighting in the trauma trenches of my brain 24/7 i just know it

and on top of all that i just realized i think i may have been developing some early symptoms of psoriatic arthritis for a hot minute LMFAOOOO like not to be a hypochondriac but. i've been wondering for a while now what some of these seemingly random and minor things happening with my body (unrelated to all the other fucking issues i have) have been and i maybe finally connected the dots because of how specific they are to that condition (i do have diagnosed psoriasis btw and other autoimmune bullshit in my family). so that's like fun and great because i literally just lost access to my medicaid which was picking up all the shit my primary insurance doesn't pay for. and i feel like a visit to a rheumatologist rn would demolish what little savings i have left. probably for them to just tell me to take ibuprofen or smth LMAO because like the symptoms are very mild so far it seems. if they even are PsA at all tho i have quite a strong feeling. and that's not exactly a financial risk i want to take given that I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING TO LIVE!!!!!