#kgrb

later, when shiba gave his testimony, did he just recall the fights, leaving out the demands of the mikaboshi because it didn't matter, fuck them all, this meant war! or did he remember every single word spoken to him, calmly, dispassionately, with an even voice, like this outcome had always been inevitable. did the words reverberate in his head, buzzing in his ears, churning in his stomach, seared into his memory?

do the words still echo inside shiba, twenty years later, every time a plan goes awry, urging to retreat and regroup, while chihiro charges on. every time chihiro chooses to keep fighting, to stake his life, does a shiver run down shiba's spine? every time he screams that they need to get out now, does he flash back to lying in the dirt, crumpled, broken, humiliated. when he asks chihiro why he won't remove the scar, does he think of when he got his around the throat removed? when chihiro talks of never forgetting hatred, does shiba think that he doesn't need a visible reminder, that every time he swallows, he feels the phantom pain linger. does he not stop chihiro from his revenge mission because shiba understands overwhelming, engulfing, swallowing emotions of grief and rage and helplessness like only survivors understand? when you have been left alive not by luck or mercy, but by scorn and derision. when you have to lie there, wounded, traumatized, surrounded by death.

hi hiruhikoooo hiiiiiii 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼