fun times

slightly furious reminder that fish do in fact feel pain and do in fact experience fear and distress when in pain since people seem to love spreading the myth that fish don't feel pain. what is it with people assuming a creature is incapable of feeling pain or emotion just because it doesn't have complex facial muscles. come on gang

Ilya's so lucky Shane never hooked up with another man before him, someone who could've told him he didn't need to say "please" in bed, or made him feel embarrassed about folding his clothes, or showed him what casual sex actually looks like (thus cutting Ilya's time of feasibly insisting that what's going on between them is casual down by like 80%). Like, Ilya dickmatized that boy at 19, before anyone else could get to him, and he can thank his lucky stars.

no offense but if your friend is trying out a new hobby be fucking nice to them

friends say hurtful things, whether it's out of jealousy, trying to be funny, etc. I don't believe it usually means they're an irredeemable person who you need to cut off. I just think we should be mindful of how snarkiness can impact someone's confidence and likelihood to keep pursuing their interests

I am a big defender of Shane not wanting to come out and one of the biggest reasons that I haven’t seen discussed much is how much worse it is to come out as a Gay Asian Bottom compared to coming out as a bisexual (white) man who is already regarded as a sex machine. Like Asian men are already overly feminized in the west. Shane’s general demeanor is subdued, he doesn’t drink or party often, and he abides by strict rules and a diet that already makes him an outsider. He doesn’t sleep around and has only has one public relationship with a woman under his belt, which ended very quickly. He’s the exact opposite of Ilya in all these ways and it puts him at a disadvantage. He has a “soft” image he spends his whole life actively opposing. His image is working against him; him being gay contributes to it and worsens it. Ilya’s image is working in his favor; being with a man is an anomaly OR further proof of his sexual prowess. And bc of Ilya’s well known history of sleeping around and generally aggressive attitude, it will be assumed he would be the top. Through a heteronormative lens, which is obviously the norm in hockey, that makes him the “man” in the relationship. If anything, his ability to “dominate” another man may bolster his image, make him even more of an “alpha male”. But being a bottom is seen as inherently demeaning and effeminate, thanks to misogyny, homophobia, and rape culture. The less bulky, quiet, shy man with a shocking lack of experience with woman is obviously the bottom (and this is even worse if they have the height and body differences canon to the books). Shane will be seen as weaker (and what could be worse than that in a contact sport like hockey). He’ll be viewed as the “woman” in the relationship, which is to say he will be viewed as inherently inferior. And draws further attention to the parts of him he’s tried to hide (aka autism symptoms) which will now be treated as further evidence of his sensitivity and otherness. Everything he does now is gay. But being with Shane is the only gay thing Ilya does. Without the threat of Russia, Shane has far more to lose from coming out imo. And his team’s reaction proves that. He deserves some grace.

im writing my husbands visa application for him to stay long term in my country and now im thinking about shane who is very carefully compiling all the evidence of their genuine and continuing relationship and making a really nice PowerPoint presentation that includes highlights of their biggest hits against each other on the ice and Canadian immigration is like look we don’t need your weird kink shit we believe you’re together no one would actively do whatever tf you’re doing together, here’s his citizenship pls leave our office immediately

during his first year in ottawa, ilya casually mentions he’s going to get coffee with david after practice and the team is like “who tf is david?????” meanwhile luca haas, hollanov shipper supreme, starts losing his fucking mind

There’s no way on gods green earth that Ilya didn’t jack off for stamina before fucking Shane for the first time. He was in his hotel room bricked up at the mere thought of what was going to happen that night, of course he’s cumming all over himself in the shower and gritting out ‘fuck, hollander’ aloud to himself in the empty room. and then rocking up to Shane’s fuckpad cool as a cucumber. you big faker. if he hadn’t he would have blown his load 20 seconds after sliding in for the first time.

shane is the guy who thinks he could steer and land a plane to safety in the event of the pilot passing out and ilya is the guy who thinks that if he ever found himself in a freestyle rap battle he would just somehow lock in and be amazing at it

I love the death grip after the toy was fixed up. Lessons were learned. Try to steal it this time you fucking bird. I dare you.

It is true in my heart of hearts that everyone. or at least a solid majority of people. genuinely think the inciting incident of the HuntervHollander fight is that Scott called Shane a slur. I’m being serious. There is very little that could get Hockey’s Two Goodest Boys beating each other up especially with the genuine rage Shane was displaying there. A week after the fight Shane and Scott’s agents have to force them to separately release statements that are just “I did not say something racist to one of the only Asian players in the league” and “I did not try to kill Scott because he said a racist slur to me” because the hockey community is tearing them to SHREDS absolutely convinced Scott said some heinous shit to get Shane to react like that. Which. He did. But it was a gay-on-gay hate crime and nobody was guessing that.

it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That