A part of my unmasking process has been appreciating some things I enjoyed younger but that were shamed out of me and out of my reach. Yes, this is about cringe culture. To me the problem never really was the public and easy to notice "haha lol deviantart kids are cringe" type of stuff, because it's always been quite easy for me to brush these things off and keep going. I liked Pokemon when I was "too old for it" and stopped caring about the nasty remarks people made out loud. I thought they were just meanies who were stuck on artificial social boundaries and didn't understand how people can just enjoy things.
But the subtle attitudes my friends (or social media around me) had hurt me. The people I loved and cared about. I was so sure they'd hate me for liking this I genuinely liked.
Like for years I avoided saying I genuinely liked movies like Balto just so that no one could shame me for it. Nobody cared about Pokemon that much for years, so I could easily avoid saying that Umbreon has been my favourite Pokemon for like... 25 years. I thought that somehow the only acceptable favourite Pokemon for adult (nerds) were Psyduck, Snom and the like. You know, funny silly creatures. Because it's cringe to think a semi-dog-looking-ass Umbreon that's meant to be a "cool" character, I guess. Like that's something you shouldn't take seriously.
And if I ever doodled a dog ANYWHERE where anyone could see it, god forbid I drew one that looked like it belongs to a Disney movie. I have a plethora of different art styles installed in me, but that's my comfort style. Why can't I at least have comfort?
Like yeah my parents actually did raise me on fucking Lady and the Tramp 2, what about it? I've seen it probably a hundred times in my life (if that's even enough). Once I watched it 6-7 times in one day. I had the McDonald's plushies and build an elaborate junkyard on my desk and I was at least 11 at that time. It's not a great movie in the grand scheme of movies, but it's one of those that provided me with so much comforting escapisms and it had dogs in in dammit. Derailed myself here, apologies.
I fucking kind of avoided collecting realistic animal plushies, especially foxes, partially because of this for years. I had other reasons as well. But I actually, seriously on an emotional level thought I'd be worth nothing and left out of everything if I'd collect them.
These are small things and individual examples, but these came to mind first. And these might seem pretty minor, but stuff like this builds up over the years. It's not that I had to actively lie to anyone, I just left things out. It's so hard to object stuff you don't realise is there in the first place. As a young adult I just didn't want to be an outcast because I had been left out time and time again throughout my whole life up until that point and I wanted to avoid the constant loneliness I carried with me.
I'm surrounded by love right now. Especially my wife is so supportive and makes me feel safe. I bought a smilodon plushie in October an once I got her out of the bag and showed her to my wife, she wanted to take a closer look and immediately just hugged the plush. Like I don't expect that she'd be judgmental asshole but moments like these fill me with so much joy. THIS IS NORMAL AND WHAT YOUR LIFE SHOULD LOOK LIKE.
Also, thanks to everyone who has been shoving the idea of cringe culture to its grave. <3 I'm shoveling a pile of dirt and mean words on it everyday.
Sometimes I run into the idea that one shouldn't be a raging fan of a musician etc. as they reach adulthood. Those people haven't probably had the joy, excitement and happiness running into their bones when you queue for a gig or dance and sing your heart out in the front row living your best life so deeply in that moment and nowhere else. And you don't have, not everyone likes that and that's fine. But if someone was to take that experience away from me, I'd loose an emotional rollercoaster, happiness, a bunch of like-minded people and a community I otherwise wouldn't have. Like fuck you for thinking I'm immature and cringe, have you ever seen Go_A play live up close? What are you even doing. :D
Go and get a silly little treat if you read this far. Or if you see this sentence and this sentence only.
