Itβs been hard lately. i donβt understand why I feel this way. Maybe because of her, or maybe Iβm just not happy where I am now. i keep telling myself itβs the latter but I know in my heart itβs the former. Thereβs so many things I could do to change this feeling, this state that Iβm in right now. Iβm trapped, or maybe Iβve been keeping myself trapped. Thereβs no reason to stay in this state, Itβs time to move, to break free from these chains. I sound like Iβm in such a deep complex situation, helpless and weak. Itβs in me, I just need to keep telling myself that I can be better, I WILL BE BETTER.Β Iβm pathetic. i always put myself in this situation, confining myself in this box where my feelings for someone dictates how I should be living my life. It has to end, it has to end now. Fuck it, fuck her! I wish I can split myself up and separate the logical side of me and tell my other self to stop being a bitch I would.Β Enough. I just want this to be over, Iβm done overthinking, soon enough I know Iβll stop caring. I need to be more selfish, I need my old self back, I need to invest on myself. I need to be better, I WILL BE BETTER.













