#2amthoughts

i was drunk on your love… and now that im sober… i realize it probably was never real from the start. im just another driver who missed the exit sign on the highway to heartbreak.

Okay, but first, full disclosure: I started this rant because I was looking for funny BotSatS incorrect quotes or whatever the stupid acronym is, just some late-night nonsense to make my brain giggle, and instead I stumbled on this absolutely tragic Snojanus post by @binarisunset (I literally suck at using this app so here’s a link to their account https://www.tumblr.com/binarisunset) that crushed my soul so thoroughly it dragged my brain into a full-on literary spiral instead of letting me go to bed at 2 a.m.; so here we are.

Okay, but can we talk about how betrayal only ever hurts because intimacy exists first 😭; like, it’s not just “someone does something bad,” it’s “someone you trusted, someone who mattered, someone who let you see them chooses to hurt you anyway,” and that’s literally why stories feel like knives in your chest; Othello doesn’t get destroyed by a stranger, he gets destroyed by Iago, the person who knows his heart, knows his weaknesses, knows what he will believe, and uses it against him; The Great Gatsby doesn’t even need violence — Daisy just chooses comfort over Gatsby, and he built his whole life around her love; weaponized intimacy, emotional murder in slow motion; Jane Eyre trusts Rochester, and when he hides Bertha, when he betrays that trust, it cuts harder than any random misfortune could; Victor Frankenstein abandons the Creature he created; the Creature didn’t need enemies, he needed a parent; that absence, that refusal of connection, absolute intimate cruelty; in the Bible, Adam and Eve didn’t even have the tools to understand the tree, and God punishes them anyway; Judas betrays Jesus with a kiss; the intimacy makes it sacred, spiritual, devastating.

And fandom, let me tell you, fandom hurts in the exact same way because the rules never change; John Walker spirals after Lemar dies, trapped between grief, guilt, the serum, and a government that demands perfection; he trusted people, he trusted rules, and all that trust collapses spectacularly, layering betrayal after betrayal; Sejanus and Coriolanus — friendship, political bonds, maybe love, and then betrayal; it’s gutting because the intimacy is what makes it irredeemable; the Marauders prank that hurt Remus? same formula; he let them in, and that’s what makes it hurt so much; the act itself isn’t betrayal, it’s the closeness he gave away that gets weaponized.

if they wanted to they would.

they would call, maybe twice just to be safe.

they would text, maybe just to ask if you’re ok even if you asked for space.

they would show up, even if you said you want to be alone, because maybe just maybe - you need them.