I've been sending beams and rays at random passerbys for years now
w-what kind of beams
yknow like lasers
Do not treat me like a cat that needs enrichment, please

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@fungusreguse
I've been sending beams and rays at random passerbys for years now
w-what kind of beams
yknow like lasers
Do not treat me like a cat that needs enrichment, please

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Refried black beans, corn chips and sour cream. I feel better.
I had a good day yesterday, we went to the big Buddhist temple and had lunch. I got see my sister and spend some time with my dog.
My dog is dying. He probably won't make it to the end of the week. I'll try to get down there for when he goes. My partner said I should give him Ganges water and tulasi with some deity sweet. They say it guarantees a good human birth.
I think this is gonna be the first time I get any real sense of closure or peace from the loss of a loved one and it's my dog.
It feels kind of silly, because "it's just a dog". But for all the impact and admiration the ones who went before had by the time they left I really didn't have the same kind of connection, the loss felt more formal. Like a social obligation or a missed opportunity.
Cúdu has been my companion, my silent partner and my buddy. Life pulled us apart, my living conditions weren't fit for him but I made the effort to go visit him and just hang out with him whenever - not for any special occasion but the way you would visit a friend. I regret not living up to my end of the bargain more often than I'd like. I probably wasn't a great friend to him as much as he was to me.
I'm real proud of him still, and I'm keen to see him off, he's sure unhappy with a body that doesn't work anymore and he's earned whatever better things are ahead of him. I love you dearly big guy. I hope we meet again sooner than later.
Wouldn’t you know it? It’s crunchy leaf season again!

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My weightloss is stable, godblessit! Even if I'm not doing well internally, even if I'm missing my faculties, the other components of me have not let me down and to be totally honest that's so much more affirming than any of my friends or my partner
It's really fungen wimdy today
.
I didn't figure out what's wrong and my chemicals are still screaming at me.
I'm taking a mental health day and breaking diet and exercise routine. Please don't hurt me.
shirt that says I HATE WHEN CHARACTERS WITH UNUSUAL BEHAVIOURS AND MANNERISMS DUE TO NEUROLOGICAL DIFFERENCES GET "CURED" AND BECOME "NORMAL" on the front and "bye" on the back
the ONLY time I'm fine with this is when the character is STILL unusual after whatever event changed them, just in a different way. bonus points if they're upset about the change. EVEN THEN YOU (pointing my fingers around at no one) ARE ON THHHIIINNNNN ICE
"but why do you hate this? isn't it a good end to a character's arc?" my actual physical neurological structure deviates from the norm in ways that CANNOT be "fixed" and I like it when characters are like me and can still have fulfilling story arcs and loving friends [:
this includes characters who say things that don't make sense, have memory issues, behave irrationally, and more. I'm talking about characters who represent a wide range of neurological differences. not just autism or adhd!
Presentations of this in media definitely messed with me long-term. I often butt heads (hehe, buttheads) with my "learning disability" in just adulting and have countless times since my teenage years wished for a "cure" and screamed "I just want to be normal!"
But truly if I were not who I am, I would not be me (duh) and even though the scale dips from time to time I do love me, and love being me, and love the way I see and experience the world around me because I am me - it sucks that whatever it is out there wants to tell me that that's wrong, but I've never been stopped by that before and I won't start now

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Today I had a thought, there's something emblematic of the state of affairs and the people in this country that almost all the animals one might consider typically, stereotypically or "classicly" or solely Australian are better represented, or would have been better represented before Europeans arrived (that's a gimme), or in present day in Papua New Guinea or Aotearoa. We an enormous, empty island. Full of hollow, shallow pretenders.
My partner has the mildest possible occular prescription has never worn glasses, recently we got her some because her driving at night was getting a tad worrisome, but they give her hellacious headaches and because of our mismatched schedules I'd never seen her wear them.
Last night she put them on because she wants to get used to them and I 'wowowow, eeeeyowza, arooooooo' *smacks head with mallet* *eyes sproing out of my head*
But, y'know, I kept my cool. She asked me if I like them and I said "yeah"
it's not a Huge Deal but I do sometimes think about how all the books I read as a kid and all the tv I watched was allllll set in the northern hemisphere.
which is all fine and good! but for most of my life, I thought that birds flew south for the winter. I thought that northerly winds were supposed to be cold. etc etc etc. odd stuff! I was always a little confused as to why my world didn't match the world all the characters in my books were living. dunno! it's on my mind.
Even a lot of stuff that isn't on Earth, or that's shot in the Southern hemisphere is northern hemisphere coded, or set in that world's equivalent. It's strange. I think it definitely had an impact on my creative style
I tried a face serum thingy today, but I'm so adapted to sweatface that I sat down and absent mindedly mopped the dew of my forehead
This season is going to be brief. I have decided. This season is about reminding myself why and for whom I do the things. It's about reminding myself that it's not a competition. That my own pace is good enough and comparison truly is the thief of joy. To love and praise the success of my close friends and chosen family and not to allow jealousy and anger to take root in my heart.
This season I set out with a goal of realising the beauty in my own mistakes and setbacks, and have the patience to create space for the person I'm becoming.

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Inner monologue? More like dinmer monolog