Nothing

it should be fucking illegal for phones to install random apps every time they update. i will actually kill you

loudspeaker interference ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS THERE IS A FUCKING BEAST LOOSE IN THE HARDWARE AISLE

im just here to buy some paint you don't have to be a dick about it

there's a tortoise at work and he's 30 years old and I love that he's 30 years old because I can look at this animal that is 3 years older than me and go "does the man want his appy slices??" and he hustles over cause the man do want his appy slices

microdosing on intimacy by running my hand through my own hair

Yeah well my mom told me you’re probably a false prophet

are my prophetic visions a joke to you

cats will really walk on your tits without a word of apology

love when pets walk by like they have somewhere to be