Fuggernaut

I used to love God’s house Dancing through creamy white hallways I felt honoured to sing songs that weaved roses at his feet My childish believing heart became infatuated with his love My foolish trusting spirit thought everyone reading his book had compassionate blood But I’m not a child anymore My memories of Sunday’s are Stained with tears and smeared with sweat Anxiety riddled perspiration budding on my forehead as I recited Splintering bible verses before a congregation Folded together in their bitterness Equal parts sugar and fire A pinch of judgment A dash of hypocrisy Hollow eyes preaching the fathers love Squawking like crows Flinging daggers at any questioning souls Razors within there throats ready to attack “Your skirt is 2 inches too short” “Equalized marriage is sacrilege” “The devil is everywhere” A perfect recipe for disfellowship Now here I am Remembering when I would beg my father to take me to church Tears scorching down my face I don’t see god when I think of their sharp faces I see emptiness I don’t hear glorious hymns I hear my echoed sobs in bleached clean bathroom stalls Avoiding the social period between Sundays school and main meeting I can’t ever go back I’m sorry daddy I won’t let you take me to church Not anymore