FUCK NO, neopets

So, everyone should watch this hilarious video by Videogamedunkey. 

for example - neopets just released an ice meerca as a new color the other day. for those in the audience who are not seasoned neopets players, there is no ice paint brush in existence. you can only get ice neopets randomly through the lab ray, which usually just gives you worthless stat changes 99% of the time. the chance of you getting a new color from the lab ray is already small, even for a user who goes to the lab ray every single day. 

when you try to calculate the chances of someone within neopets’ 2,000-3,000 active userbase using the lab ray and miraculously NOT getting crummy stat changes, but actually getting a pet/color change, and when you factor in the astronomical odds of them not only getting a color change but actually getting a rare color like ice, and when you add in the fact that it would need to be an ice meerca specifically and not any other kind of neopet – the universe starts collapsing in on itself. this is absurdity. it boggles the mind. like – this will NEVER happen. 

and this is just one rare color for one neopet!!! there are plenty of rare colors – robot, sponge, 8-bit, snot, clay – that are available for dozens of neopets that no one might ever get. do you know anyone who wants an 8-bit nimmo? do you know anyone who even has a regular nimmo? the fucking labor invovled in this is astounding……you would have to morph your pet into a nimmo and visit the lab ray every day for nine years and constantly morph it back into a nimmo every time it changed color and even then - EVEN THEN - if you got it to change color it would only be a 1/54 chance that it would be 8-bit. this is NONSENSE. my brain is leaking out my ears!

“go weave a basket”

“dont lie to me on these neopets”

“i feel God in this neoboard tonight”

“grow up this is neopets”

that one kid: why dnt we jst print more money?

me: