Why am I not heavily pregnant right now? Why am I not rubbing my belly in public, watching people see as I struggle with the weight of it? Why am I not spending my evenings cradling my gravid stomach, feeling it move beneath my fingers?
Because you're scared of how that ends, handsome boy... Scared of that moment when you feel contractions, when you feel the head pushing through your cervix, the need to bear down overwhelming. It finally hitting you that you really did this to yourself. That there is no more going back or changing your mind. You got pregnant. You're giving birth, oh god, oh fuck you're GIVING BIRTH TO A BABY!
Your whole life changing, a bit at a time with every push. Unable to fight it, or resist. It's really happening, you feel it moving down, it's coming out of you!!! You're a boy, legs spread, your swollen vagina bulging. Your lips spreading. You would reach down and touch and feel a head, a baby's head coming out of your body, sliding out of your vagina!
That's why you haven't let yourself do it yet. It sounds like too much. Too much pain and pleasure, too much raw sexuality, too much primal indulgence for you to ever be the same again, and that's scary~















