✿Fruit Punch✿

I love that wantonly is a word for doing shit as if a wanton can do anything but be delicious

My brother taught my dad how to use speech to text and now I get to hear the tea whenever he’s arguing with the family group chat

I don't deal in absolutes I'm not a sith lord if you're cool while doing something i might just allow it idk if it slays it stays

Colognes have name like Outlaw, Renegade, or Sauvage because whoever decided those smells should exist belongs in JAIL

pitbulls look so weird they look like a dog

Therapist: I'm going to play this relaxing, nostalgic music to help you get in touch with your inner child (starts to play the Pokémon theme song)

Workplace sitcom but the b plot is just the main character's second job

Spring this spring that I might have to spring myself into a brick wall in order to fall asleep