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@fruity-mama

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Fax
I relate to the phrase “chillin like a villain” because it shows that I’m calm but also ready to sin
the right people hear you differently.

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Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(
Had a coworker tell me they hadn’t texted once because of the time. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
I stared at them through the dawning realization that they lived in a world where that was remotely possible. “My phone is on do not disturb if I’m sleeping. Why would I let random texts wake me up? My sleep is important.”
Equally baffled they replied, “What if someone at work needs you?”
“I am not a manager. No one at work will ever need me badly enough to interrupt my sleep. If I’m not working then there’s no reason to be calling me.”
“Not even if you need to cover?”
I laughed, “I don’t need to cover. They could ask me to cover but good luck getting ahold of me if I’m sleeping.”
They looked distressed at this idea.
To console them I added, “I have important people like my mom and my wife set to override. If they call they get through no matter what.”
There was a small pause before they asked, “You can do that…?”
So friendly reminder. Become unreachable. Work does not need you that badly. Sleep.
Remember when you had energy to do things? Those were some wild times
your daughter is a pleasure to have on the dashboard
Reblog if prev is a pleasure to have on the dashbord

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brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man
My favorite position is 1st place in Mario Kart.

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