Fromsoft's littlest meow meow tournament

Patches

"He's just. He's everything. He's bald. He's cringe. He wants to kill you so bad but his grand tactic is going "look over there" and pushing you down a hole. The second you might be hostile he begs for his life. I love him."

"He's my best friend forever and he's a sick freak"

"the way that man crouches"

"Patches"

"HAVE YOU  S E E N  HIM"

"just look at him . hes a sopping wet failure of a man . i want him"

"In Elden Ring he literally begs for mercy after hitting him a few times and kicks you off a ledge in every game he appears in, he’s a rat bastard. A bald rat bastard but one none the less. One we are all infuriated with but still appreciate him."

"It’s Patches must there be more to say?"

Rya

"snake :)"

Patches

"He's just. He's everything. He's bald. He's cringe. He wants to kill you so bad but his grand tactic is going "look over there" and pushing you down a hole. The second you might be hostile he begs for his life. I love him."

"He's my best friend forever and he's a sick freak"

"the way that man crouches"

"Patches"

"HAVE YOU  S E E N  HIM"

"just look at him . hes a sopping wet failure of a man . i want him"

"In Elden Ring he literally begs for mercy after hitting him a few times and kicks you off a ledge in every game he appears in, he’s a rat bastard. A bald rat bastard but one none the less. One we are all infuriated with but still appreciate him."

"It’s Patches must there be more to say?"

Rya

"snake :)"

Sekiro

"The first thing he does in the game is be depressed in a well for like 3 years. The second thing he does in the game is get his arm cut off. He walks around and looks at people with autistic eyes and when people ask him his name he goes "..........." He's so great. He goes to save his lord and says "don't worry...this will only take a moment." all cool and then immediately eats shit and dies 70 times"

"he's the best boi of fromsoft, he was raised to become a killing machine and he is but he also is soooo gentle, sad and cute, i mean he's ready to sacrifice himself for not only kuro but also divine child that man is ready to be the loving father he never had he also is so sweet to strangers like people usually portray him as rough because he doesnt speak much but honestly he's a sweetheart, he is concerned by isshin and sculptor's health, he gets worried when he sees kotaro or o'rin crying, he always offers help to emma and always thanks her for help, he comforts anayama in the end of his quest... they always say "dont make that face" to him in sad/hurt situations. and all this while being the most dangerous man in the earth, he does kill most of ashina himself he does he also kill his own father he does twice but he had reason for it and he was hot doing so with his sad mysteroud look with that face i'd love to kiss and smash and being a short king that fits perfectly into my arms i jusr love him so much"

Patches

"He's just. He's everything. He's bald. He's cringe. He wants to kill you so bad but his grand tactic is going "look over there" and pushing you down a hole. The second you might be hostile he begs for his life. I love him."

"He's my best friend forever and he's a sick freak"

"the way that man crouches"

"Patches"

"HAVE YOU  S E E N  HIM"

"just look at him . hes a sopping wet failure of a man . i want him"

"In Elden Ring he literally begs for mercy after hitting him a few times and kicks you off a ledge in every game he appears in, he’s a rat bastard. A bald rat bastard but one none the less. One we are all infuriated with but still appreciate him."

Varre

"DONT let tumblr trick you into thinking he's a sexyman hes CRINGE and LAME. he has the constitution of a wet napkin and falls on the floor like he dropped his lunch tray the second he gets smacked, spends his last living moments trying to call his boss who's the only important person in his life and gets fuckin ghosted. Anyway I hate his reputation as someone suave he sounds like a cartoon turtle and I want to shove him in a locker"

"Because he’s so fucking pathetic and gay"

Rya

"snake :)"

Rya

"snake :)"

"Her quest literally ends with her begging you to kill her. She such a sweet heart it breaks me, my angel girl you irl made me cry"

Gehrman

Micolash

"he is literally peak pathetic. nothing else to it!"

"he is so. p athetic. his boss fight is just him running away and moaning like he's getting the best head of his life while you beat on him. And you can just cheese him in six billion ways instead of giving him the satisfaction of a fair fight. He wears a dumbass chastity cage on his head and also his name is Micolash so clearly his parents didn't love him. I do though. just kidding i have a save just for murdering him over and over again. Also he's like 50 and ugly so basically Tumblrs dream guy lesssgoooo have I mentioned the moaning yet what the fuck is up with that fr"

"HE HOWLS. THIS OLD MAN RUNS AROUND HOWLING WITH HIS SHOES UNTIED. HE IS TERRIBLE AND SOGGY AND PATHETIC AND JUST LIKE ME FR. I ADORE HIM."

"Just look at him! Pathetic man with a cage on his head who howls! Obviously the best choice! Look at him run around while you chase him though his funky little nightmare! Such pathetic little meow meow material!"

"Because his a precious little bitch."

Varre

"DONT let tumblr trick you into thinking he's a sexyman hes CRINGE and LAME. he has the constitution of a wet napkin and falls on the floor like he dropped his lunch tray the second he gets smacked, spends his last living moments trying to call his boss who's the only important person in his life and gets fuckin ghosted. Anyway I hate his reputation as someone suave he sounds like a cartoon turtle and I want to shove him in a locker"