ANOTHER LOST CHILD.

meme.   @prodigil

❝     wait seriously?   i hadn’t fucking noticed.   i thought maybe the stabbing pain in my side was just indigestion.   you a doctor or something,  big guy?   ❞     the harshness of his tone is probably unnecessary,   but more often than not,  he goes straight on the defence.    every other conversation with him seems to be more like a verbal knife fight,   someone always coming away bleeding.   it’s been that way for a while now   (oh,  dear boy,  who taught you that your tongue had to be a weapon?   who taught you that you were always at war?)   

he glances toward sam,  biting the inside of his cheek as his eyes wander over the scars on sam’s cheek,  across the one through his brow and   ———   he looks so human.   something stiles doesn’t see as much anymore.  most of his friends and enemies are healed within minutes,  and at most hours but—  but not stiles,   and not sam.   there’s something about that,  that makes stiles unclench his fists,  just a little,   the tenseness fades from his wrists.   that doesn’t mean his defence is down   (it rarely is these days.   maybe that’s why he can’t sleep at night,  maybe that’s why he can never breathe easy)  but he softens a little,   eyes flickering away from sam’s face so he doesn’t become too obvious.

❝     i’ve had worse.  i’ll be fine.   ❞     he takes a moment to take a few deep breaths,   to calm himself so the pain doesn’t feel so overwhelming.    inhale.   he’s not a werewolf,   but he’s not weak,  he’s not going to die from a few broken bones.   exhale.    he needs to stand up.   inhale.   he has to stand up.  exhale.   

a hand raises to the table beside him,   gripping tightly,   weight pushed onto it as he forces himself up,   legs straining as he finally manages to push himself to standing,  body screaming with pain which shows in the way his features screw up,   grimace undeniable.   but once he’s standing,   he looks up,   shooting a half hearted smile,   shrugging slightly   (and then regretting that instantly when another wave of pain hits him).

meme.   @fatalles

she is the first girl he truly loved.    there was lydia,   who will always be important to him,   but that was never love.   more obsession,   more infatuation.   he adored the idea of her,   and sometimes,   almost her.  but never quite her.   but then there was malia.   malia,   who was all claws,   all instinct,   all blunt honesty and god,  stiles—   he really did love her.   he loved her so much he lied to her,   he loved her so much he hid things from her,  till she found out and then  —  then she came back.    he will never think he deserved that second chance but for a while,  he treasured it,  because he had her back,  because he was better with her and sometimes he thought maybe he was the same for her.   but then  …

then donovan happened.   and donovan ruined everything.   just like theo wanted it to.   but stiles is the one who broke up with her,   stiles is the one who left.   i’d never leave you behind,   he promised,   but where was that when he climbed out of the car?   where was that when he broke her heart?

there are a long list of things stiles stilinski will never forgive himself for,   and hurting malia is pretty high up there.   because even though he justifies it to himself over and over when the moon hangs high in the sky,   it doesn’t matter that he tells himself   she’s better off without you,   over and over,   every time his mind thinks about asking for another chance,   it was his choice to get out of the car,   it was his choice to run.   running from her because what?   because she loved him so much she didn’t care about the fact he was a killer?  because she understood that bad things happen and that they shouldn’t define people?    isn’t that what he tried to help her learn? 

what a fucking hypocrite he became as he stepped out of the car,   what a lying coward he turned out to be.

❝     i know.   ❞     he says quietly,   because he has to say something,   even though in moments like this where words are needed—  he never quite has the right ones.    ❝    i’d understand if you hate me,  you know.   you have every right to.    ❞     it’s okay,   i hate me too.    

meme.   @venoar.   accepting.

❝     you know i know you can hear my heartbeat,  right?   or did you forget you’re a werewolf?   i can imagine that’s pretty hard to do.   props to you if you managed that.   ❞     

he’s still alive.  sadly.   but that doesn’t mean he’s not pretty badly.   he’s still annoyingly human and still unable to heal from wounds anywhere near as quick as his were-friends are able to.   unlike them,   he has to receive actual medical treatment every time he gets hurt on one of their monster hunting adventures.  whether that medical treatment is an actual doctor or nurse or stiles sitting in his own room with a first aid kit trying to sew himself up with trembling hands is irrelevant.   it’s still medical help.

long pale fingers are pressed against his now ruined over shirt that’s applying pressure to a bloody wound on his stomach,   attempting to hopefully stop the bleeding so he doesn’t actually die here.   though,  that doesn’t sound that bad.   there’s worse ways to go.   like drowning,   like being burned alive,   like——   alright,   not helping.   he should focus on actually helpful things.  not on the various painful ways to die.    he sighs,   shifting a little in his spot,   pressing the shirt harder against the injury.   thankfully,   they’re just from the claws of a beta,   not an alpha.  he so can’t deal with becoming a werewolf right now,  his life is as stressful enough as it is.   

he’ll take the question as her very hale way of asking if he’s okay,   even if that’s not her intention.   god,  do these guys have something against acting like they care?   are they all subscribed to emotional constipation weekly?

the action instantly makes a grin tug at scott’s lips,   one that’s all softness and adoration.   warm hand moving up to cup her jaw as he returns a quick smooch onto her nose,  before dropping one onto her left cheek,  then her right,  then her forehead before kissing just at the corner of her lips.