⚰

After Sol somehow killed that.. murderer in the bathroom, you were shaken up beyond repair. every step you took was like injecting a needle full of adrenaline into your veins—walking further away from the crime scene the man walking you home caused, leaving you with gut wrenching guilt.

It feels like your senses are heightened as you both walk on the side of the road. You can suddenly smell sol's blood stained shirt, along with the subtle warm and gourmand scent of his cologne. You can barely hear the clouds bubbling above you, threatening to spill raindrops and make your already traumatizing day even worse.

You thought this was the worst for you—but it seemed like sol was struggling even more. You look over at the man, noticing the subtle dark streaks painting his face from the tears that ran down it just moments ago, it was comforting in a way, knowing he cares for you so much that he'd cry over the thought of you in danger. You feel tingles spread across the palm of your hand up into your fingers, it feels just how it did earlier; when sol held your hand up to his face, coddling himself and nuzzling against it. He was so warm, and you felt... No—feel—so fucking cold.

"is it gonna rain?..." the words slip out before you can even process them.

He looks over at you morosely, his eyebrows scrunching up and tears beginning to collect at the bottom lids of his eyes. You didn't notice it, but he did; the way your hands clenched at your sides, and how your voice cracked when you made eye contact with him. He couldn't help it, he gets so emotional over you, especially because he can tell youre scared. He feels a sudden pressure against his throat, and it hurts to swallow as he holds back tears. Killing people isn't that traumatizing to him, but having you witness it is a whole different story.

Sol inhales sharply, "Yeah, maybe. You cold?"

You chuckle, trying to laugh out the frog in your throat, "y-yeah." You look him up and down, "you seem cold too, hah. My place isn't too far from here, you should stay over—if you can!"

He stares at you for a moment, almost in disbelief.

"uh–honestly.. i just don't want to go to bed alone tonight."

You two make it back in one piece, clothes slightly damp from the rain. You invite him to sit on your couch as he sits next to you, closer than necessary... You can sense the closeness between you without looking, and it makes your heart race, but sol quickly ruins that mood.

"what if.. i was never there to save you?" He looks over.

you've never seen sol be vulnerable and open with you, so you want to choose your words carefully—but at the same time, seeing his mouth press into a thin line, and his eyes gloss over, makes your stomach churn in a different way.

"i don't know, sol."

Sol's chest aches at the thought of you leaving him forever, what would he do without you? He'd have no purpose, no reason to live, he's convinced that if he saw you lie dead on the ground, he'd take the same knife that killed you and jab it right into his heart, twisting it through the pain, just to make sure he felt what you felt—punishing himself for not being able to save you. a tear drips down his face.

"I..I know I scared you, i'm sorry." his shoulders slump.

"Sol..."

tears continuously roll out of sol's eyes now. You ogle at the sight of him, his hiccups and sobs are so cute—you just want to hold him and keep him like this forever, pathetic and weeping over you. But you know you can't.. so what the hell are you supposed to do? Youre not particularly good at handling these types of situations...

You place your hand on the back of his head, caressing his hair with your thumb, before gently pushing him down, his head coming to rest onto your lap. Your fingers trace his hairline, pushing any unkept hair out of his face. Your gentle touch sends shivers down his spine. He squeezes his eyes shut, he doesn't know if this is a dream, if youre really holding him like this, if he's laying on your lap right now—but this is what he's dreamed of for a long time, and he wants to stay for as long as possible. He hiccups,

"Y-you almost-hic!-died..."

You continue to stroke his hair as you feel sol's tears start to soak through your pants. the cold patches send tingles up your core, he probably looks so cute right now. He continues to sob, and you just watch his shoulders rise and fall with each trembling breath.

"it's okay sol, i wouldn't leave you.." Your hand trails down his head to his shoulder, massaging the tense muscle with your thumb. He inhales sharply at the action, letting out a loud sob—god, hearing that, makes him believe you really love him, and he can't believe what youre saying, all he can do is cry as his dick stirs in his pants.

"[your name]..." he chokes out, trying to repress his boner.

But he can't

his mind swirls with images of you, holding him so sweetly—like how youre doing now—as his hips jerk up into you, or how you'd wipe the tears from his eyes while you edge him until the skin on his dick is red and raw, and each stroke of your hand makes him feel like he's on the verge of death. Fuck, how he wishes he could dig his head deeper into your lap and settle it between your thighs right now, just to show you how much he cares for you; as if him crying isn't enough. His cries get louder as his dick strains painfully against his pants.

You almost let a smile slip, but quickly put a frown on your face once he rolls over to face you, head still on your lap of course, god forbid he leaves the warmth of your legs. You take in the sight of sol's face below you. puffy, bloodshot eyes, the cutest blush tinting his cheeks and nose, his eyebrows curved up and lip quivering as he stares at you lovingly.

Nausea churns in sol's stomach as your eyes trail down towards his boner. He quickly stands up and pulls his shirt over his pants.

"t-thanks for having me.. I have t-to go home now."