freshman year wizard

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i have bad news for you op

it’s pride month, minions. you know what that means

do you want us to, like, cast gay spells my leige?

<|:^)

all the spells i cast are gay

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

age? I dono but theyre all still moving. Red? No but they can be dyed if needed

drats. still moving? holdon i’ll cast a withering curse- these bad boys need to be at least 8 years dead for my plan to work

so just bones? Herrings cant take that long to decompose, you could just go get some skeletons

i see. do you know where i can find fish skeletons readily available

I mean I have a bucket of them right here do you know any precision disolution spells? Elsewise try and find a necromancer's shop, they often have things like that

im banned from going near necromancers since The Incident but thank you anyways

there was an incident involing necromancers and YOU got the restraining order? WHAT DID YOU DO

<[:)

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

age? I dono but theyre all still moving. Red? No but they can be dyed if needed

drats. still moving? holdon i’ll cast a withering curse- these bad boys need to be at least 8 years dead for my plan to work

so just bones? Herrings cant take that long to decompose, you could just go get some skeletons

i see. do you know where i can find fish skeletons readily available

I mean I have a bucket of them right here do you know any precision disolution spells? Elsewise try and find a necromancer's shop, they often have things like that

im banned from going near necromancers since The Incident but thank you anyways

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

age? I dono but theyre all still moving. Red? No but they can be dyed if needed

drats. still moving? holdon i’ll cast a withering curse- these bad boys need to be at least 8 years dead for my plan to work

so just bones? Herrings cant take that long to decompose, you could just go get some skeletons

i see. do you know where i can find fish skeletons readily available

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

age? I dono but theyre all still moving. Red? No but they can be dyed if needed

drats. still moving? holdon i’ll cast a withering curse- these bad boys need to be at least 8 years dead for my plan to work

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

finally someone said it

reporting for duty sir

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

i cast illiteracy

Everything is haunted everybodys evil and their bugs inside the carpet do u think im frightening organ chords and lightning if I show my fangs will u tell me that theyre cool

haunted mention!

i mean i don’t think EVERYBODY’s evil but yeah i did accidentally unleash 3 cursed specters so it is VERY much haunted up in here

great day for nosy bitch such as myself. all timer

*casts nose curse on you*

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

Also the amulet

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

CURRENTLY. so i have a chance

cast iron? yeah thats a pretty common spell to learn

skillet issue

i heard something about weirdly homoeretic energy?

apparently some idiot on the Wizard council lost his tharxian warding crystal in the suction dimension and broke the great circle keeping the demon lord Pentalagon in his spectral sarcophagus. so like. that was my evil plan. i spent 3,000 years working on this and they just started the Thaumaclysm on accident. what am i supposed to do with all this mayonnaise now

i can take the mayonnaise off your hands for totally nonsuspicious reasons. promise i will give the mayonnaise a good home and definitely not use it for harm in any way whatsoever

What fucking ritual are you planning with mayo

mud wasnt strong enough to sustain my homunculus so im trying again with mayonnaise. he needs to be better at premeditated murder

Dog got him?

30-50 feral hogs actually