I can't stop crying
over this post (x)
It got me thinking, sooner or later, weβll get to that point. After some time, we should abandon our fangirl tendencies and lead on a responsible life as adults. And it scares me. I donβt want that day to come, but we all know it will.Β
I wish I could stay like this forever, Β reading fanfictions, crying over each episode, agonizingly waiting for the next season, pairing each character to god knows what.
Β I have grown to love this way of life. For once, I could be free. I could cry over a pairing and know that Iβm not alone. I have come to see things have different meanings now.Β
I see rooftops, blue telephone boxes, lemon, crossbow, chess, salt, statues , etc. differently now.
Each fandom has become a huge part of our lives and I canβt bear to imagine the day when we have to leave it behind.
Here I am 13 years later and it happened. The day came when I just stopped opening tumblr, I stopped reading fics, I stopped writing fics, I watching fmv of my ships. And it all came naturally. But here I am again. I came back to see how my life was years ago and I cannot help but smile that I once wrote of this time when I have buried my fangirling tendencies in the past. I look back in joy and sadness but I also look forward with hope. Now that I came back, I realized these things still make me happy. I just stepped out to find my place in the real world, but this will always be my home. I feel bittersweet as I read this sentiment from years ago. I was genuinely scared of the day I forget how tumblr and fandoms have been amazing to me, and it did happen. I came back because I knew in my heart, this is what makes me happy and I am here to rekindle the joy of writing and reading the works of others who have shared the same sentiment as mine. I did more than 10 years without enjoying this fangirling in lieu of responsibilities as an adult and now I am back to where it all began because I knew this is where I belong. Do I regret being gone for many years? No. It is by nature that the day will come. I learned a lot with the real world, but the best thing I learned is that these fangirling things make me who I am today.
