MY NAME IS BILL

“THIS IS WHAT PUPPET BOY HERE IS DOING. AS YOU CAN SEE, IT’S TOTALLY WRONG. LOOK AT THAT. THE BROWN BULLSHIT PART ISN’T EVEN A TRIANGLE. HOW MUCH MORE WRONG CAN YOU GET? BUT YOU KNOW, OF COURSE, HE THINKS HE’S DOING THIS-”

“I THINK WE CAN ALL SEE WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS, RIGHT? I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE. I MEAN, LET’S NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE “CROSSING THE FANDOMS” THING. ANYWAY, HERE’S A MORE CORRECT PICTURE - OBVIOUSLY DUMBED DOWN TO SUIT MORTAL UNDERSTANDING.”

“SO, TODAY, I HAD TO DEAL WITH ONE OF MY PUPPETS SASSING ME ABOUT THINGS HE DOESN’T REALLY KNOW ABOUT. FOR INSTANCE-” Bill transforms into Dale ( @dalearmitage ). 

freedomangle replied to your post: “I got you a present.”

“BUT I PUT IT IN A BOX. IT HAS A BOW ON IT. THERE COULD BE ANYTHING IN THIS BOX.”

“That is not, by any means, reassuring.”

@freedomangle

“At least I don’t take it and seek you out looking for more.”

“YOU’RE DEFINITELY TAKING IT. YOU’RE TAKING IT RIGHT NOW. YOU’LL PROBABLY BE TAKING IT LONG AND HARD FROM ME AND OTHERS LIKE ME FOR YEARS TO COME. IT’S IN YOUR NATURE, SIXER.”

BullSHIT you haven’t done anything to me personally. I’d call sniping at my mind from across the astral plane pretty damn well doing something to me personally. Face it, I’m JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, Bill. I know it’s HARD TO IMAGINE for someone with a supposedly LIMITLESS IMAGINATION, but I’m ALREADY ON ANOTHER LEASH, and I actually do stay loyal to MY boss, so go play with whichever me you pulled out of whatever craphole you found him in and stop coming after ME for your daily snort of schadenfreude.

Geez now I know why Ford’s such a drama queen about this you’re so fucking IRRITATING 

“WHAT’S A LITTLE SNIPING BETWEEN FRIENDS? IT’S NOT LIKE I KILLED YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. THEN AGAIN, I GUESS IT’S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ANY FOR ME TO KILL, ANYWAY. MAYBE THAT’S A BAD EXAMPLE. LET ME START OVER. IT’S NOT LIKE I FORCED YOU INTO A SITUATION WHERE YOU HAD TO MAKE A CHOICE AND BOTH CHOICES RESULT IN EQUALLY DREADFUL OUTCOMES FOR YOU. YEAH, THAT’S BETTER.”

SULKangle

freedomangle replied to your post “(Blindfold) HEY, PUPPET PAL DALE. MISS ME? I’D MAKE WITH THE OMINOUS…”

FUN FACT: NOBODY FUCKS ME OVER LIKE I DO. AHAHAHA. BUT YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME. YOU KNOW YOU DO.

I really, really don’t, Bill. Some of you are okay, but you specifically? YOU you? You can go jump off into the Bottomless Pit.

“I HAVEN’T EVEN DONE ANYTHING TO YOU PERSONALLY YET. IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT? DID I MAKE YOU JEALOUS WHEN I BEGAN MEDDLING IN THE AFFAIRS OF ANOTHER DALE? THOSE ABANDONMENT ISSUES MUST REALLY BE GETTING TO YOU IF YOU’RE ALREADY THIS ATTACHED TO ME THIS QUICKLY.”

“BY THE WAY, FELICIA WANTS YOU ALL TO STOP CALLING HER JUST TO SAY GOODBYE. SHE DIDN’T ASCEND FROM THE REALM OF THE LIVING AND INTO THE ASTRAL PLANE FOR THE EQUIVALENT OF JUNK VOICEMAIL.”

“So you never fought us in your world? Wow! So you didn’t get spraypaint in the eye! Or kittens on you, or music annoying you? Probably a good thing.” A really good thing, it means he has never experienced fighting the twins then. If push comes to shove, and if he became an enemy like the other/ Well they might get a better chance! 

“Yea he would much rather shoot you again I think, Dipper said he had shot you. Missed, but he went for it. I guess he has a really bad past with you, er, the other you. It’s in his journals, all sorts of warnings about you.But back to the point!” She hops up and offers her hand to him, excited again. “I’ll help you make things better, we both can try! Oh, and if you want to warm him up, he loves sweaters. I made him one actually with his symbol thingy on it. Never seen him smile so much hahah.”

“IT’S LIKE THEY ALWAYS SAY THE MORE THINGS CHANGE, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME. EXCEPT WHEN THEY DON’T. I’M SURE ONCE YOUR GREAT UNCLE REALIZES I’M DIFFERENT, HE’LL COME AROUND. THEY ALWAYS DO. EVENTUALLY.”

Bill blinked, a slow, exaggerated gesture. He looked at her offered hand for all of two seconds before reaching out and grabbing it. His eye glowed an eerie, ethereal blue, and blue flames flickered out and enveloped both of their hands. The flames did not burn, and in fact, felt almost cold against the skin.

     “WELL, WOULD YA LOOK AT THAT! IT’S MY FAVORITE BEING IN THE ENTIRE MULTIVERSE: ME!”

     “YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY! THE MORE, THE MERRIER, AND YOU CAN BET WE’RE GONNA MAKE MERRY!” The entirety of the human race probably wouldn’t appreciate the two of them ‘making merry’, but since when did humanity’s opinions ever matter on anything? Never. Humanity’s opinions have never mattered. Humanity doesn’t even know how to party!

“AW, SHUCKS. YOU’RE MY FAVORITE BEING IN THE ENTIRE MULTIVERSE, TOO, EXCEPT WHEN MY FAVORITE BEING IN THE MULTIVERSE IS A CAT FROM THE SPARKLER DIMENSION THAT BREATHES FIRE AND DEVOURS THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT. YOU KNOW, NORMAL CAT STUFF.”

Seduction style!

in honor of v-day! ( link. )

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement. You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you. By establishing this deep connection quickly, people fall under your power. And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

tagged by: @goldendorito

freedomangle:

“YOUR BODY WOULD BE A LOT LESS STUPID WITH ME IN IT. ALSO, WE COULD STILL GET DRINKS. I KNOW A LITTLE HOLE IN THE WALL OF A FAR-CORNER DIMENSION THAT HAS KALEIDOSCOPE RUM.”

My body is rated for single-occupancy only, sorry not sorry.

… Okay, now I’m listening again. What’s kaleidoscope rum? That sounds pretty appetizing.

“THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR ONE MORE.”

“BUT OKAY, MAYBE I’LL BE NICE TO YOU JUST THIS ONE TIME. HOW ABOUT YOU DO ME A SORT OF UNOFFICIAL FAVOR IN RETURN FOR INTRODUCING YOU TO THE MAGICAL DRUNKEN WONDER THAT IS KALEIDOSCOPE RUM? NO HANDSHAKE REQUIRED. I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO ASK THAT MUCH OF YOU. YOU MIGHT EVEN ENJOY IT.”

(started to reach out but)

Heeey, wait a second. I just want to go get drinks, not hand over the deed to my stupid body!

“WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL. IF IT ISN’T ANOTHER NEW BILL ON THE BLOCK. BOY, WE SURE ARE POPULAR, AREN’T WE? ONE TASTE OF OUR GREATNESS, AND THEY JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH.”