Hold the phone!

“the problem with tinder is that it’s too easy to get banned. you’re telling me that i got kicked off for asking one guy his ssn? there’s no way they’ve never had that happen before. grindr, at least, has the courtesy to give you a warning first. thrinder’s fine but it’s buggy and too easy to crash - i know, i’ve done it three times already. hinge & bumble are both fine but where’s the fun in that? besides, i mostly use bumble for bumblebff - i’m sorry, wait what were you saying before?”

“Oh uh, I asked if you’d seen a cellphone…um pink with a red beaded chain hanging from the side? …Because I’m looking for it for someone?” Fred muttered, as he tried to mentally walk back to where they’d even gotten to this point in the conversation just from his simple question. “But all that other stuff is pretty cool, I guess? I mean you used a lot of words I’ve never heard of before, like…thrinder? And bumblebff? But good for you, bud!

who: @fredj0nes​

Fred wasn’t expecting the door to be opened so quickly (or at all really) after the RA shouted out that what he’d assumed was a crime scene in progress was just pee being sectioned off, so he hadn’t given himself a second to come up with an alternate reason for why he’d come knocking. Instead all he could do was give a sheepish self deprecating laugh before answering honestly. “No, I don’t. I live in the next one down, but I heard about the caution tape and was wondering if it was maybe a crime or something that maybe needed help solving.” Fred offered his hand out for a shake, trying to make up for his weird first impression with such a hot girl. “Fred Jones, by the way. I love solving mysteries.”