It'll Work Out

Anyway, she follows it up with, “My husband and I just recently won our custody battle with our foster daughter and she means the world to us. She’s a beautiful African American girl and her hair looks a lot like yours. But I’m afraid because I don’t know what to do with her hair. It’s a lot different from mines and our other children and we are at a total lost. I’ve tried looking up the YouTube videos and my husband went to the braiding shops so they can teach him how to properly braid her hair, but he’s still pretty new and it will be a while before he gets used to it. Do you have any tips you can give me? If you don’t have the time, it’s okay, really! I just needed a little advice because I want her to look beautiful.”

Y’all. swear I almost started crying on aisle 6. So for the last 30 minutes, I spent my time talking to her and what products to use and how to properly detangle and comb her hair with the proper tools and what not to do with natural hair. And I showed her a bunch of easier to follow natural hair tutorials on YouTube and saved them for her. (I also had to create a YouTube account for her so she could save it for later.) but omfg, she was so sweet, and I could tell that she listened to every single thing I had to say and she took little notes on her little notepad.

And what really filled my heart was the fact that her husband actually taking classes from African braiding shops. And she showed me a picture of him wearing a little sweater vest and loafers in a little shop surrounded by beautiful black women showing him how to braid black hair and even the lady he’s braiding on is guiding his hands. And omfg. Bless these old white people and their black daughter who I know have new loving parents because they are willing to step out of their comfort zone just to make her feel and look beautiful.

“You’re from Arizona, and you’re skin is STILL that pale?”

“Yeah, I can’t be around blood, it makes me…squeamish.”

“I know she keeps saying Edward jumped in front of the van and that’s why she’s okay, but that makes even less sense? He wasn’t even near her anyway.”

Red NB: Bold makeup, doesn’t try but always looks flawless, shorts and tights, skateboards, mid-afternoon on a riverwalk, lips stained from popsicles, blowing kisses, probably plays an instrument, loves mid-2000’s dance music

Orange NB: Energetic grins, freckles, brightly coloured tanktops and flannels, only drinks soda from the vintage-looking glass bottles, battered Converse, sparkly lip gloss, has a birthmark and is hella proud of it, probably used to take dance classes, always up for an adventure

Yellow NB: Drinking lemonade on a summer day, soft smiles, cries over pictures of cute dogs, tries to grow sunflowers, smells like sunshine, cardigans and leggings, loves looking for animal shapes in the clouds, owns a polaroid, takes sneaky pictures of their friends

Green NB: Mom friend, goes barefoot everywhere, loves the outdoors, plants instead of pets, probably collects rocks, smeared eyeliner, unironically loves salad, saw a ferret once and would die for it, ripped jeans and cuffed t-shirts, novelty socks, lives for rainy days, listens to Nirvana

Blue NB: Carefree, dyed hair, collects shells and accidentally leaves them in their pockets, acid-washed jeans, oversized sweaters, a laugh that could cure depression and end wars, deep eyes, dark lipstick, probably has tried to bleach their hair white before, just wants cuddles, ice cream in the wintertime

Indigo NB: Had a goth phase, aesthetic photos, all-black outfits, lives in their Converse, wandering the streets after dark, going to playgrounds at night, sparkly makeup, staying up for hours, nose kisses, holding hands with their friends, hugs from behind, sad poetry, probably listens to Arctic Monkeys

Surround yourself with people who are open and vocal about how much they love and admire you, who call themselves your biggest fan and who are there to support you through your path to greatness.

Surround yourself with people who enjoy their own interests unapologetically, who genuinely seek for the things that will make them happy and who are not restrained by what people will think of them. 

Surround yourself with people who aren’t afraid to show affection through words or physical gestures, who are shamelessly in love with their special other and who see that their love is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Surround yourself with people with healing energy, people who will listen to you attentively, who will offer a helping hand when the world is falling down around you, who will try their best to understand your struggles.

Surround yourself with people that are loud, who aren’t afraid to exist brightly and colorfully, who laugh and cry and have fun and feel with every fiber of their being. 

Most importantly, though, be that kind of person. Put positive energy into the world and you will find it coming back to you. This group of nerds is just a taste of what unapologetic genuine shameless love can accomplish. And I feel grateful every day for the reminder that there’s someone out there who, when you least expect it, will show up and love you and make life a thousand times better.