Board Certified Dumbass

Who else moans when they eat the subway cookie

i get so miserable off that scenario i made up in my head

I’ve seen you people thirst after men I wouldn’t even feed to my creature

it's disorienting when you beat me with a shovel

still fucks me up what a bad rap coyotes get in peoples eyes. like ive talked to people who  see em as like. gross pests who should be culled. theyre literally just as cool as wolves just a lil smaller and less confident. i love them with all my heart to balance out all the coyote haters out there, coyotes rule theyre doing great

this post was so fucking funny I literally was just like “I like coyotes I think they’re cool” and so many people fucking hated it. Shut up I’m trying. To enjoy animal

i think tumblr ads automatically opening a tab on your phone if you touch them while scrolling should be considered a form of malware

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

a former coworker is a kind of dead wife

few know this! bunnies is actually an advanced form of mold colony

Never trust an asexual who says “for fuck’s sake.” They do not hold stock in the sake of the fuck they are lying and manipulating you

never be good at your job. it's a trap. they'll just give you more and harder stuff to do and it'll pull you away from your true passion of writing gay fanfiction for people on the internet