The Illustrious Insomniac

On February 26th, NPR posted this screenshot of the google search “ted cruz is”: 

“Is ted cruz the zodiac killer” is the second suggestion. Here is a screenshot from today (3/21):

Nothing about the zodiac killer. The conspiracy theory is also absent from any search suggestions for other combinations of ‘ted cruz’ and ‘zodiac killer’. So maybe there’s a reasonable explanation: fewer people are asking google if Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer, and are instead asking if he is republican or married. Nope. Not according to google trends, which shows ‘is ted cruz the zodiac killer’ as a more interesting search term since February. 

Conclusion

THESE ARE THEM, AND 

THIS IS THEIR BADASS LEADER IRINA SEBROVA.

now Russia had absolute shit equipment during WW2, and since the Night Witches were all women they were given the shittest of the shit equipment, and by shit, I mean World War One era biplanes that would hardly fly. 

Yeah, ^THIS^ is what they had to fly, their job was to fly stealth missions. STEALTH. MISSIONS.  In a super loud bi-plane that was originally meant to be fucking crop-duster.  Now, in this plane, the navigator sat in front and the pilot sat in back (fairly common for bi-planes).  Now, since these planes were so deafeningly loud and they were supposed to be flying stealthy night missions, the Night Witches solved that problem, BY TURNING OFF THE GODDAMN PLANE AND GLIDING ON AIR CURRENTS OVER THEIR BOMBING SITE.  That is hardcore as fuck.  Now, in addition to basically being flying death-traps, these planes had a slight problem, and by slight problem, I mean sometimes the bombs wouldn’t release.  Now how do you solve that problem? How can you complete your mission if the bombs don’t drop?  Well, if you’re a Night Witch you do what the navigators would do, AND CLIMB ONTO THE FUCKING WING AND DETACH THE BOMB BY HAND!  You thought turning off the plane was badass? The plane was off while they were climbing onto the wing of a plane made of cloth and wood! Now to make things more badass, the Night Witches weren’t given supplies that were deemed ‘extraneous’ like, oh, a goddamn PARACHUTE.  Seriously, no parachutes, and Irina Sebrova survived being shot down, TWICE, each time having to dodge German patrols while surviving the Russian winter.  Now, for an American bomber in World War 2, if he survived 25 missions he was given an honorable discharge and it was considered he had done his duty to the Allies.  Want to know how many missions Irina Sebrova flew?  It’s more than 25.   Irina Sebrova, Wing Commander of the 588th Night Bomber Regiment flew 92, that’s almost four tours of duty for an American, and those were just day missions!! Guess how many night missions Sebrova flew?  ONE THOUSAND EIGHT.  That’s right, she flew 1,008 night missions and 92 day missions, if she was American this would have meant she completed forty-four tours of duty.  The Night Witches weren’t just badasses, they were heroes with such incredible amounts of courage that they carried out the most insane acts of braveryto protect their homeland and their people.

SOURCE

Some more pics of these amazing women.

This is Kjell Lindgren. He’s a NASA astronaut who just got back from 5 months on the International Space Station. There are two reasons why this picture is hilarious:

His wife is flawless and makes bad space puns to make him do household chores.

I have that shirt. Thousands of people have that shirt. That shirt is available at Target. Which means actual astronaut Kjell Lindgren, with his wardrobe already full of NASA-issued and logo-emblazoned clothes, was at Target, saw a NASA shirt, and was like, “Yes, I am buying this because this is what I want to spend my actual astronaut salary on.”

Courtesy of Wikipedia, here’s the poster NASA released for his mission to the ISS:

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