these boys are dorktacular

alright trilos. you’ve been wondering where I am, hmm? well, I’m alright. but this blog isn’t.

I’m deleting trilo-bilo.

honestly, I’ve just needed a break. but I’m gonna give you guys some tips for life.

I don’t hate anyone. I don’t send anon hate. I only send anon love or maybe if someone’s being the ultratrash, like racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/ableist, I’ll send them a message about why they suck entirely.

so uhm alright kids. and anyone else.

let’s admit this fandom is falling apart. just accept this for the 5 minutes you’ll spend reading this.

okay. got that?

next up, let’s tell a little story about some things that have happened.

so alliwha and I have this hella inside joke about fighting Alex Kapranos. this resulted in the narwhal smackdown of the century and some very angry Franzies and others. Alex said it was chill, but some stuff did a thing. Alli was just trying to defend me from all the hate that I couldn’t say anything about on my personal Twitter (people I know irl follow me there). So uhm this is Friday. Then at 2 AM that night, I was being kinda venty on my other accounts and Alex DMed me about venting to him.

well, stuff did its thing and would you look at that, more hate. Alex then said he had to stop talking to me for obvious reasons including the fandom.

so that’s the story about the initial narwhal situation. but stuff still did more things. (do I say that too much?!)

so this Twitter account that exists which I won’t name. and let’s just say they weren’t the nicest to Alli and I, oh, and teenage Franzies in general.

I think I’m posting this for all the younger Franzies out there. I mean, we’re just fans of something. maybe we’re a little late to join, but just saying the older Franzies had their fangirl fun 10 years ago. so let us all have ours. I know we’re young, I know we’re stupid, but I promise, I’m learning to learn. that sounded better in my head. but I’m learning to tolerate. I’m learning to take care of a subfandom. I really do try to stay calm, I try to defend myself without offending anyone, I try to keep my younger Franzies safe.

okay Franzdom. here comes the hate train.

“we were here before you!!!!1!! you’re just IGNORANT fan girls!!!3!2!”

these past few months I’ve had to be braver than ever. since January, I’ve been a hate target. I’ve been on and off rebellious child of the franz ferdinand fandom. I’ve made friends. I’ve had more anon hate in one night than I could handle. and I’ve learned. I’ve learned so much.

I mean, I feel somewhat heroic for all of this, honestly. I’ve stood up for myself and my friends and I’ve been through more fandom drama than I could have ever expected.

alright here it comes. the Franzdom was so peaceful, so calm before I arrived and pretty much destroyed everything. but I realized there was something going on that wasn’t okay, and I tried to fix it.

and maybe I’m doing something wrong. maybe I created a safe space, an alliance, and a superhella wattpad community, but that’s still something I did wrong.

maybe I did wreck the Franzdom. and if I did, I’m sorry. if I didn’t, why are you being so dramatic about this?! just understand one thing: I’m 13, I’m stupid, I’m trying to learn, I really am, but all of this stress is destroying me. destroying me so much that it’s come to all of this just to do something for this fandom.

just let us be fangirls. let us do stupid things. they’re not hurting anyone. I mean, you guys had slacken_ties. I won’t say anything else. let us write our stupid fanfics. let us make stupid textposts and videos and edits of the guys. we’re not hurting anyone. we’re fangirls. we can post our silly posts about the guys as much as we want, because this is a fandom, not your pretentious little friend group.

Franzdom, you’re treating this fandom like it’s an all exclusive high school populars clique. it’s not fun for the outsiders. we haven’t had a fandom. and I’ve really tried to construct something, anything, for everyone not in this clique. I’ve started a support and resource blog with some friends. I’ve tried my hardest.

and maybe I’m a bit angry and rebellious. I’ve always been like this. even in real life. I stay loyal until the end, whatever the thing I’m loyal to may be.

ALRIGHT HERES THE APOLOGY

I’m sorry for:

•being a general bitch to this fandom and wrecking everything by suddenly appearing

•destroying a couple friendships. I’m sorry.

alright Franzdom. I’m gonna let you off now. seriously. live your lives. I’m not mad. well maybe I am… A little. your fandom is called the Franzdom. mine is the FF fandom. and that’s all. I’m not trying to be a part of the Franzdom. I’m in the ff fandom. that doesn’t mean I’m not chill with Franzdom members, I mean we all like the same band here, but I’m letting you guys have your friendships and everything. I’m not trying to destroy anything, I’m trying to keep my Franzies safe. that’s all.

you’re all cool, as long as you don’t *coughs violently* harass teenage girls for being fangirls.

I can’t tell if this is an apology or an invitation to come at me. I think it’s both.

there’s so much more I could say, there really is… but I can’t say all of that here.

so come at me. seriously, say anything you want. I’ll most likely be chill with it, because this is most likely one of the only truly ranty posts on my blog.

this is an apology and an invitation to come at me.

so go for it.