FRACTURED MIND !

Words won’t express what had shattered today within me. I still can’t even believe it. It’s still a little nightmare with the hope to wake up to a better world.

Honestly, I could whine now how unfair I’ve been treated here or how many people treated me like shit. I could whine how some have ruined my muses and my account. I could... and it still wouldn’t bring my happiness back that I used to have when I wrote. It’s like in the past weeks someone has stolen the most precious thing I used to have and this was writing. So, for now, I will take a Hiatus. Undefined. Maybe I’ll come back. Maybe not. Maybe not here. Maybe here. But for now I can’t write even one word down and it’s not fair to any of my partners to let them wait or write down the worst bullshit.

Thank you for everyone that was kind enough to endure me & to write with me. You are probably the reason why I stayed for so long heh. c:

“Really? Then you must be in a lot of pain.” She felt her eyes go wide. She wondered if the other was alright from all of the things she probably had to do. Cheering that the other agreed she nodded her head. “Can I paint your nails ombre?” She asked eagerly. 

She should have pushed him away and rejected his touch. But she felt so weak. She couldn’t say no to him even now. The only time she had was when she was leaving him and he begged her to stay. Eun-Hye made no effort to stop him from pulling her closer, instead pressing her face onto his shirt and taking in a deep breath. His scent flooded her senses and she closed her eyes, a calm falling over her. Her hand resting on his chest, tracing small, senseless patterns. Her eyes grew heavy, listening to his breathing was putting her to sleep and soon that is exactly what she did. Sleep.

               James is only pausing when he heard the male’s words. Of course, he should be used to hearing such things. The tall male had been told that countless times before. He had heard it most of life and yet he still doesn’t know how to feel. It is something that he will never get used to hearing, even now. Letting out a small chuckle his tan cheeks are now a red color. Giving a small head shake as he mumbled out a thanks to him. “Uh– Thanks.” He mumbles while he gives a small smile. He isn’t sure what he should say about any of this. Because even though it was a nice compliment he always felt awkward. “You know, so are you– I mean just look at you” He mumbled before he turned away shaking his head some. “You’re beautiful, like seriously.” He comments now looking away. Not very sure what to say now that he had spoken those words.

       duo shared one thing in common, which was the delicious taste of blood   ——   minho even enjoying flesh but, blood was also enough for the ghoul; it was a question about what taste buds got used to. ever since he had met someone with such interests as himself, let alone, a woman who made a 360-degree turn of personality whenever the beast inside of her got released. which you could say, minho seemed to forever aim for   —   it was a bit unfair to tease someone with his own blood but, the way he could see her expression change when blood got vivid for the both of them, the creature already knew that he had her right where he wanted her to be; under his control and his only, which was perhaps a bit possessive but, that was what happened when a ghoul finally granted a taste of somebody. they were theirs and if others tried to feed off of them, a fight would be initiated without any shame or holding back in inflicting pain to the same kind as himself.

watching how woman’s body, sense and facial expression were all beginning to react upon the thick blood there was seeping from his thumb, slowly trickling down the length of it as well; was such a satisfying view for minho, that he couldn’t help the signature smirk to appear and also how orbs were even turning hungrier for closeness to elaine, such as having his hands roam over curves of her body, to have another taste of her   ——   god, she drove his mind crazy, just by how their previous encounters had escalated.   ❝   how can you call it torture, when your body language is seemingly enjoying all of this   ?   ❞   the male queried with his usual low tone of voice, gaze breaking from hers momentarily to drop down and watch how her hands were curling into the fabric of his shirt, which had him snort out in light amusement. own eyes fell down upon the feeling of her wet muscle dragging over his thumb, which just had him push digit into woman’s mouth, past her cherry-like lips, while eyes returned to meet elaine’s innocent glint in each her hues, which send a shiver down the ghoul’s spine, because how could one manage to hold so much innocence, while drinking off of his blood.   ❝   you’re so beautiful.   ❞   eyebrows knit together as he felt himself craving so much more from woman, so frame pressed closer to her until frames were completely flushed and he was gazing down at her.   ❝   do you wanna go on another adventure with me   —   ?   ❞

[ ❈ ]  “Taemin…” The syllables glide along the soft voice that echoes his name, a name uncommon yet fairly normal in contrast to the man that bears it. Everything starts with a name, and although the introduction may have come just a little late, it was better. It gives her an appellation to identify him for – a name to associate the unusual color of his hair, or the certain kind of boldness he exudes, or the eyes that stares deep within. These are the details listed under the given name, and more details to come and to be kept in mind as the day goes along. The shadows from the outside signifies the twilight, a transition of the afternoon to night. An early evening, it seems. A good start, maybe. “Taemin-nim.” Softness caresses the said name as it slips from her tongue, a response to him uttering her name like it was candy to his mouth – sweet and melting. She does the same, subtly, if she can if only to hold his attention and interest while keeping hers as well. The question he posed is as brash and audacious as he has ever been since the beginning, and while it isn’t surprising to hear from the other, Hanu knows how to play this well. Years in this gyobang did impart her technical skills to become someone worthy of giving entertainment to other, but it is of experience and keenness that she learned how to handle such situation. Instinct tells her not to give in, always, but to make him give in. If he does, then maybe she will. Thin fingers playfully pats on her peach tainted cheeks as she once more speaks. “The proper question should be… what are you willing to give to have me?” And perhaps no one has ever told him. Hanu is never easy.

「💤」 You are mine. The words echoed in Sloth’s mind, ran around like a swarm of crazed witch across the night sky, screaming and singing, causing fear in the hearts of those who heard them. But the worst part of it all? Greed was right. Sloth never really freed himself from the tight embrace of the other. Physically – perhaps that was true, but no matter what he did, who he met, no matter what happened around him – he would always and forever feel Greed’s hot breath on his skin. It never went away, often causing a fever in the broken being. Life changed, time passed but the remnants of Greed were now a part of Sloth. A part of his nature, his character. A part of his entirety.

Eyes never once leaving the other he saw as little crimson droplets appeared on the other’s hands. There it was – the brutality, the uncontrolled anger. But… but it was not directed at him. There was a spark in Sloth’s mind. The faintest voice of his love for the brother, whispering to him he loves you, look, he’s trying, he’s controlling himself. He heard it and he could see it. He calmed down, his laughter disappearing completely, the only sign that it even happened were his pink-dusted cheeks and two little moist streaks running down his face as at one point tears just fell. He tried to calm down, he fell quiet, he listened. The arches of his brows moved, contorted in a frown of disbelief. More beautiful that Pride? More alluring that Lust? Surely Greed was lying. How could that be? He wanted to ask, there were still so many questions. But the moment his plush lips parted to speak they pressed together again in a think line, Sloth’s eyes widening, he himself shivering and letting out a short, nasal yelp at the sudden elevation of the other’s tone. And he listened, his eyes round again bordering on tears. Greed was saying words that overwhelmed him. The obsession of the elder, the singularity of his wants. The genuine struggle Greed was forcing himself through to wipe Sloth off his mind. And then… then the question. The question that never before was asked. Not that he remembered anyway. And even if – not like this. Not so… so… desperately.

“Greed, you are my brother and I love you. But – You and me… We– How can you say we belong together?” He stopped himself from asking more. He wanted, of course. Why them? Why Sloth and Greed? Why did the other not love someone else. “I never… no!” It was a lie, honestly. He had a weakness for the way Pride was upright, how he looked down on Sloth, how he made Sloth try and gain his acceptance. It was so against the Sin’s nature and yet he found that he pulled to those who made him like that. Perhaps it was the fear that if he remained the way he was, Greed would come searching for him? Somehow… somehow it seemed every choice of his life for the longest time stemmed from his brother’s love for him. “Greed, I don’t think… I’ll…” His voice broke as he forced himself to continue, scared for what he was going to say to the other. But the desperation in Avaritia’s voice just… tore at something deep within him and he felt like a monster. “Your look… I won’t look at you like that… but…” Something was breaking, his chest began hurting, his breath getting shallow. His hands went numb and cold pearls of sweat appeared on his temples. “I… I was unfair–” He himself knew this was a hell hole into which he was leaping. But there was just something, something that pulled him to his Brother. “I…We could… try…” His voice trailed of completely, his own body screaming in panic at what he’d just said. What would Greed do? Was it too much? “Just… there will have to be rules… I… don’t want to push you away…” It felt scary, it felt unreal. Never had he thought he’d say those words and already his instincts were planning an escape should he need one. But he did love Greed and he didn’t want to hurt the brother, no matter how much fear the other’s sheer presence triggered inside him.

In turn, Inyoung let her talk. What she thought of marriage could’ve been straight from his mind, if he had ever dug deeper to find out what was the best option for him. She had given up on love, it sounded, and Inyoung didn’t have much hope that he’d ever be swallowed by such tremendous feelings. There had been a type of longing, maybe closer to frustration, that he’d experienced in his teenage years watching first loves and sloppy kisses behind school buildings. He was missing something basic, and wasn’t going to acquire it later on. Luckily even jealousy didn’t struck that strong, and getting over some realisations barely stung.

Basing marriage on friendship was a fresh idea, even sort of exciting. It was something he could’ve done. Inyoung smiled slowly as the woman kept talking.

“I like how that sounds,” he admitted. “I would imagine this marriage as what you just described. We would become friends, good friends. Go wherever we want, do whatever we want. We’d just share a home, eat our dinner together, gossip, have a marriage picture of us in the entrance…” Inyoung tried to picture it, his eyes squinting and lips pursing the clearer visualization he tried to chase. “But we’d have other relationships. You could have real boyfriends, I could keep on…” What was the correct way to say it? Being promiscuous wasn’t exactly it. Oftentimes it was just platonic kisses or joined hands with friends and strangers, but in relationships those minute things bloated huge and troublesome. “Going here and there?” Inyoung offered a brighter smile to soften his words. “As to who thinks this is a good idea, that’s my grandmother. She cares about my opinion but thinks hers is better.”

Inyoung leant further over the table to point a dish on the menu. “Spicy octopus for starters, my favorite. Are you a picky eater?” he looked up at her curiously, waiting a beat before continuing. “You could order me your favorite foods, and I could order you mine.” 

        The frantic edge to her voice made Ayami take a step back before scanning the other woman’s face. She didn’t like the vibe coming off her, it was unsettling and she couldn’t quite place what bothered her beside tone. Who were those sources Livvie spoke of, though, and how did they know about her? That was the main question here. 

        “I can’t assure you you’ll get information,” Ayami said, hoping it might deter Livvie from pursuing a dream translation from her. It was doubtful that it’d stop her, but Ayami tried regardless. “And my translations aren’t always accurate.” An incorrect statement, more often than not they were indeed accurate or if the first analyze was inaccurate the accurate one eventually came to light. 

        If the nightmares were connected to her past, there still was a chance Ayami would have a hard time. And she was going to hate every minute of it because it took away from her personal time.

continuation from here for  @fractured  | Jongup & Taeyong

“I don’t believe in words such and to wait and see” Jongup narrowed his eyes to the side. Of thousand and millions of existing words, the male before him just have to say the same words many have said to him. – to wait and see what evidence will unveil for his dead brother who was brutally murdered.  Jongup grab a hold onto the other wrist and tugging on it to distract the other attention from his scared skin. “Waiting are meant for those who want to die, you’re so much more than that..” his eyes looked upon the other, staring into him. “Our own worst enemy might be our vulnerability but it could also be our greatest weapon..” … “Don’t lose yourself..”

[ ▲— Intent linger by her frame, observant to every change of her posture: her expression. Noah is not one who gets asked for favors in this manner, if this could even be considered as one. But how could he step down from mentoring someone who seemingly ( desperately ) needed it? It reminded him far too much of the years he had spent behind locked doors: isolated. Helpless. He would not wish such bitter decay upon anyone. After all hatred, anger and grief is what had eaten away at him and left him like this. With his heartless image, ruthless ways and inability to fully let people into his life. He trusts nobody but himself and has spent the past century sleeping with one eye open. Because even the greatest of friends can turn into your greatest foe when you lest expect it. His agreement feels strange. Stranger when she accepts the demands he has uttered. He wonders if she really does know what being indebted to him means. He doubts it. As far as he is aware, his name has only latched itself onto the older vampire circles. Younger ones would not know of the terror that is Kwon Noah, would they?   ❝  I’d say, I didn’t expect you to agree like this. Pleased you did however. Consider yourself taken under my wing then. Any questions will be answered, if there’s trouble, give me a call. When it’s time for me to collect my payment, I’ll make it obvious. ❞ He speaks of it as a business deal. Perhaps to avoid the emotional basis his decision has. After all, Noah has never been a big fan of feeling anything.