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@fractls-blog
probably going to be predominantly active on elsa for a while. not really feeling my other blogs at the moment. Still lacking icons for a bit longer till I get my laptop up here at the end of the month ( and I’ll have to uhhh remake tags anyway ) but I’m finally gonna get this blog off the ground.
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Guess who’s back bitches
hmrtia:
❛ elsa , you can’t just run off into a snowstorm & expect no one to worry — - ❜ the coronation had been eventful to say the least , the first time the gates had opened in years ( & he pushed back the thoughts of the past , when he was instructed to stay behind . to not die on the ship that took the former king & queen ) — - just like the past . perhaps , he should’ve expected something like this ; the pieces made sense if he connected them . perhaps they would still be with the others if he’d realized earlier . the gloves , the way she shook , her life behind closed doors that even her sister could never draw her from — - others would perhaps call it a curse , but he’d seen many things far more terrifying , menacing . was he not one of those things , himself ? an eternal soldier , twenty - six for much longer , in body & mind ( but in soul , it felt as if he’d lived eternities ) — - sometimes he forgot the rest of the years , but moments like this brought them back .
it was in moments like these where he remembered that he’d watched elsa grow up — - rather , he’d seen her until she vanished & re - appeared again . it was in moments like these where he remembered elsa was still young , still inexperienced . only eighteen & what did she truly know of the world , of monsters ? her views were skewed , she’d lived isolated ( why hadn’t he been told of the reason she was behind closed doors ? ) — - ❛ a lot of people are worried , especially your sister & i — - ❜
❛ what happened ? are you hurt ? you were shaking — - i want to help you — - ❜
Atlas, sweet Atlas -- he’s always been just so. She cannot recall when first they met, only that one day he’d been there, a permanent fixture in her family. Someone her father trusted, a good soldier. A good man. She stays where she is, half way down the steps and near ready to retreat. There’s a subtle breath of relief -- he isn’t AFRAID of her -- but it’s short lived. She’s still dangerous, too dangerous to be around him. One step back, left foot planted on the step behind her and shoulders draw in, ready to retreat away.
“ Please, none of you have to worry about me -- now no one has to worry about me ... “ He’s so sweet. I WANT TO HELP YOU. Something in her chest ACHES.
“ no, Atlas ... I’m not hurt ... “ She reassures, smiles. “ but ... you shouldn’t be here. Did ... did you come all the way up the mountain without a coat ... ? You’re going to catch your DEATH out here ... “ EXASPERATION, but it’s so FOND ... ( There’s an echo in her head, the sound of his voice through a door. There’s no door, now, but she secludes herself still as though there is. )
“be glad of your human heart. pity those who don’t feel anything at all.”
court of thorns && roses starters || accepting !
What that she could AGREE with that sentiment ... how EASY her life would be if she felt NOTHING at all. How different ... if she could just ... turn it off, she could have had back those years with her family, every hug and kiss from her parents she pushed away, every WINTER with Anna ... how much has her HUMAN HEART cost her ?
“ --- if only anything were as simple as that ... “ It’s barely a whisper, swallowing thick against the weight in her throat, the stones in her chest. “ I’m not glad for my human heart ... “ ( ‘ how did I end up with this frozen heart ? ‘ ) “ There’s nothing I wouldn’t give for whoever gave it to me to take it back. “
It should totally also be addressed that if Elsa felt nothing, if she could just turn it off like she wanted, she’d probably be a villain.
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let’s talk about the song ‘monster’ from the broadway
so this song takes place just after Elsa finds out about the storm she started, and strikes Anna with her powers by mistake. She’s panicking, terrified, and Hans and the soldiers are coming for her. She doesn’t know how to stop the storm but she never wanted to hurt anyone -- she just wants to be free.
It's finally come, come to knock down my door I can't hide this time like I hid before The storm is awake, the danger is real My time's running out, don't feel, don't feel "Fear will be your enemy And death its consequence" That's what they once said to me And it's starting to make sense All this pain, all this fear began because of me Is the thing they see, the thing I have to be
A monster, were they right? Has the dark in me finally come to light? Am I a monster full of rage Nowhere to go but on a rampage? Or am I just a monster in a cage?
She’s trying to figure out whether what she did was intentional. Whether she meant to hurt those people at the coronation party who yelled sorcery and monster at her, trying to find out if she’s really just a monster, if she’s the villain in the story. She goes back to saying ‘don’t feel, don’t feel’ several times through the end of the musical from here on out -- at one point even saying ‘get back in the cage’ because she’s so terrified of what she’s done and she can’t stop it.
Do I kill the monster? Father, you know what's best for me If I die, will they be free? Mother, what if after I'm gone The cold gets colder and the storm rages on?
At this point, she contemplates suicide just to make it stop. She cannot see any ending to this because all her life everyone just told her ‘conceal, don’t feel and there won’t be a problem’ ( there’s a line in ‘do you want to build a snowman’ that says ‘ It's getting stronger! I can't laugh, I can't cry, I can't dream, I can't live without it bursting out! ‘ ) And now that she’s let it out, now that she’s uncorked the bottle, she can’t get it under control again and everything is spiraling out of her control. But she isn’t sure that dying would even stop the story -- she goes on to say that she can’t die until she’s figured out how to stop the storm.
If I'm a monster then it's true There's only one thing that's left for me to do But before I fade to white I'll do all that I can to make things right
She still has the notion that she won’t get out of this alive in her head. Her parents drilled it into her that if anyone found out she would die. That fear would be her enemy and death it’s consequence. And that’s such an awful thing to tell a child.
I bet this wasn’t the first time she’s thought about this. About dying because someone found out or about ending it herself just so that everyone would be free. ( When she jerks away when her mother tries to touch her and says ‘no don’t touch me! I don’t want to hurt you ...’ for example. Humans NEED contact to develop correctly and Elsa was so isolated but that’s a story for another meta ... )
deathless ♚ sentence meme
You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.
You are going to break your promise. I understand.
You’re lonely too.
It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be.
I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable.
I am your servant.
I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased.
For you alone I will be weak.
I belong here, and you will not deny me.
I say these things, and the world listens.
I do not tolerate a world emptied of you. I have tried.
In the dark, I have pored over the loss of you like pale gold.
I will not let her speak because I love her, and when you love someone, you do not make them tell war stories.
I moved the earth and the water for you.
You will always run away with her.
You will always lose her.
You will always be a fool.
You will always be dead, in a city of ice, snow falling into your ear.
You have already done all of this and will do it again.
No one should be judged for loving more than they ought, only for loving not enough.
We look terrible to you, and severe, and you see our blood flying.
What we carry between us is hard-won, and we made it just as we wished it to be, just the color, just the shape.
There need never be any rules between us.
Let us be greedy together; let us hoard.
Do not leave me, swear that you will never leave me.
I am selfish. I am cruel. My mate cannot be less than I.
Sleep with fists closed and shoot straight.
I can’t abide a poor liar.
You look like a winter’s night. I could sleep inside the cold of you.
Oh, quit that. Blushing is for virgins and Christians.
Scold me; deny me. Tell me you want what you want and damn me forever. But don’t leave me.
Bad luck relies on absolutely perfect timing.
In his own country, Death can be kind.
What is the world but a boxing ring where fools and devils put up their fists?
Men die. It’s practically what they’re for.
I am no one; I am nothing.
Nothing in me was not made by you.
A revelation is always the end of something. It might even be cause for grief.
Just tell yourself a story that’ll satisfy you and pretend he told it.
Forever isn’t bright; it isn’t like that. Forever is cold and hard and final.
I savor bitterness - it is born of experience. It is the privilege of one who has truly lived.
If you want to kill yourself, do not use us as your knife.
What did I do wrong? Was I boring? Did I ignore you?
Don’t you dare speak to me like that.
I have worn nothing but blood and death for years.
I have fought all your battles for you, just as you asked me.
I have learned not to cry when I strangle a man.
I have learned to watch everything die.
I am not a little girl anymore, dazzled by your magic. It is my magic, now, too.
Are we not devils?
No one is now what they were before the war.
I have not seen you without your skin on.
Close up your head; your brain is getting loose.
We obsess. It’s in our nature.
I’ve a devil of a habit for being right.
In war you must always choose sides.
If you try to be a bridge laid down between them, they will tear you in half.
We are all dead. All equal. Broken and aimless and believing we are alive.
My old bones will follow yours soon enough.
It is better to be strong and cruel than to be fair.
I will see him with his skin off before I agree to fall in love.
After love, no one is what they were before.
I have survived, but I have not been spared.
In the space of one heartbeat to another I loved you and I was lost to you.
Frighten me, make me cry, only come back.
It’s not so bad, my darling. Being dead. It’s like being alive, only colder.
You’ll think it’s love, while he dines on your heart.
You will be so beautiful when you are old.
I cannot keep you and I cannot let you go.
You will live as you live in any world…with difficulty, and grief.
I look at you and it is like my throat being cut.
She said you’d come and I swore to eat your heart.
I still want to kiss you.
My heart is being cut in two. I cannot bear it.
What happens to anything beautiful?
I have to know, I have to or else you will just rule me until the end of everything because you know and I do not.
a court of thorns and roses sentence starters
“don’t feel bad for one moment about doing what brings you joy.”
“be glad of your human heart. pity those who don’t feel anything at all.”
“i love you. thorns and all.”
“we need hope, or else we cannot endure.”
“you look… better than before. and your hair is… clean.”
“do you ever stop being so serious and dull?”
“do you ever stop being a prick?”
“you could have demanded every single week of the year. every single week, and i would’ve said yes.”
“he also said that you liked being brushed, and if i’m clever i might train you with treats.”
“everything i love always has the tendency to be taken away from me.”
“i would have been gentle with you, though.”
“i’m tired and lonely, and you’re the only person i can talk to without putting myself at risk.”
“because i wouldn’t want to die alone. because i’d want someone to hold my hand until the end, and awhile after that. that’s something everyone deserves.”
“i didn’t want you to fight alone. or die alone.”
“has anyone ever taken care of you?”
“i’m drawn to it, even when i know i shouldn’t be, even when i try not to be.”
“beneath all your pride and stubbornness, i could have sworn i detected something that felt differently. interesting.”
“my priority would be to help my family—and i would have picked whatever side could keep them safest. i hadn’t thought of it as a weakness until now.”
“before you start yelling…”
“killing us is easier in pants.”
“all those years, what i did for them… and they didn’t try to stop you from taking me.”
“we’re too powerful, and too bored with immortality, to be checked by anything else.”
“we had contests to see who could write the dirtiest limericks while i was living with my father’s war-band by the border. i don’t particularly enjoy losing, so i took it upon myself to become good at them.”
“do you lie awake at night to come up with all your witty replies for the following day?”
“you don’t hold on to power by being everyone’s friend.”
“if it grieves you, then i don’t think it’s absurd at all.”
“better to die with my chin held high than groveling like a cowering worm.”
@drippingsludge / sc.
of all the things to encounter in the mountain and forest terrain, perhaps she should have expected to be face to face with the wild life at some point ... unrealistic, perhaps, that the thought never crossed her mind when she crossed the fjord ... a spot of black against the backdrop of SNOW. She stays perfectly still, unsure exactly what she’s LOOKING at ...
She is no stranger to fear, and she is certainly afraid -- but it’s less of creatures and always more of herself. The monsters in her closets have always been of her own making ... instead, she’s insatiably curious, and carefully cautious.
It’s ... not a wolf, or not at least any sort of wolf that she’s ever seen -- and it’s HUGE, slick black against the treeline. “ --- hello ? “ ( it’s INSTINCTUAL more than practical. Maybe the wildlife grew curious about the castle, who can say? )
@hmrtia
She hasn’t so much as looked back down to the fjord -- the chill never settles deep in her bones, and she’s spent the last hour marveling at the aptitude of her freedom, at the spirals and the intricate designs that she’d never given clarity to in her head but had somehow been produced with such magnificence ... so, mostly, when she isn’t staring at the walls, she’s staring at her hands. She’s preoccupied, never really imagined anyone would follow her up the mountain ... (why would they? Years spent isolated behind a door, behind gloves, behind rules. CONCEAL, DON’T FEEL, DON’T LET IT SHOW -- why would anyone seek her out -- ?) For that reason, she’s entirely stunned when there’s a KNOCK - KNOCK - KNOCK at the crystal doors ...
They open before him like magic, by will alone, as she descends the top steps and stops half way up still -- the sun throws prisms across the castle floor, dazzling shades of irridescent color that fall across her face, her dress, paint her in arrays of dawn ... picture of elegance and freedom. ( Her hands don’t shake, the strength in her spine feels just a little more REAL, just a little more her own but melts in the dawning realization of his presence -- )
“ Atlas -- ? “ He can’t be here. He can’t -- she’s a MENACE to the people she loves. He can’t be here. The hum of her heart in her chest is overwhelming. “ What are you doing here -- ? “ As though it is indeed the most perplexing question in the world. ( And without a COAT, she nearly adds. But that, that’s just like him -- )
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@rosevois / sc.
breathe in, breathe out -- this is the part she never gets used to. Foreign dignitaries and open gates, and for all the hours and days and months spent outside her bedroom, compounding factors of adaptation ... she never shakes that subtle knot of fear that winds in her gut at first. breathe in, breathe out -- she stands in poise and grace, shoulders back and chin lifted. No, no matter how many months pass, she has to REMIND herself to be a QUEEN. Reviews the steps and rules her father drilled into her over and over as though she’s still a girl ...
“ Welcome to Arendelle ... I’m thankful to see you arrived safely ... we were worried, when we heard of the storm out at sea ... was the journey difficult? “
Corona and Arendelle have long had relations -- when the Kingdom walled itself off so many years ago, those relations had been damaged, though, apparently not beyond repair. As a step in the right direction, they’ve sent an envoy to meet with Arendelle’s representatives ... which, given again to the kingdoms former seclusion ... currently make up just Elsa and her sister.
STARTER CALL !
so the info page isn’t updated yet but I’m working on Elsa’s psych eval section and YIKES. Somebody please help her, and not in the ‘oh love makes everything suddenly better’ way that disney did because hello welcome to ‘love doesn’t cure years of isolation and fear mongering and anxiety overnight’
elsa’s parents may have tried their best but what they did was traumatizing and horrible to do to a child in this essay i will
ind. elsa of frozen // written by eevee
template credit.
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