☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

First is some of the miscellaneous pages, mainly putting these here for lore nerds (there's a few more that are just Lodi's orientation and hire notes, not really interesting so I'm leaving them out)

Some silly photocopied messages

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And now the real meat and bones, journal entries from Lodi (plus text transcripts cause the handwriting is a little difficult to read)

Sept 7

Bad dream, feels important

I'm walking across the main floor lobby at the office

It's night, I can see Saturn out the window

Reach the elevator, take it down, nobody else is here

Something is wrong with my left leg, I look down and it's suddenly made of cadmium (how do I know it's cadmium, I don't know what that is)

I know where I'm going, backroom sublevel 3 six feet up

My entire family is in the break room and all of them are dead

I try to leave, other leg keeps slipping down the stairs because now it is made of mercury, it spills everywhere, have to hop up the stairs, remaining metal leg clangs

There's someone else in here, I think I know them but I can't see them.

Wake up, I'm fine

Thought there was someone in the room, close the shades so I can't see the sky

Sept 8

Somewhere I don't understand, everything looks like a rothko

I can't speak but in the dream I know I don't have to

A council of strangers (they try to talk to me but I don't understand them)

Embarrassed - apologetic, I think I'm supposed to do something but don't know what

They're all watching

They're talking to me I think but I start to vanish, my torso is turning to carbon dioxide (how do I know ??)

All of them are talking, they're so loud

I try to run but my feet aren't touching the ground

My chest is half gone

I try to keep myself together as I also try to run, put it back, need to be solid

Wake up freezing cold, naked in the kitchen trying to shove myself in the icebox

TO - DO: Make appointment with doctor in the morning? What kind of doctor help this??

Sept 9

By the lake, daytime, feels like summer

There are six of me here, but two of them are wearing robes (bathrobes? Choir robes??)

There's someone else, just a voice, I think I know them, they tell me I'm alright

You're okay, you're safe, no matter where I am I'll take care of you

They are speaking every language I've ever heard at the same time

You are loved child, you are needed

I hear red winged blackbirds

Voice tells me not to be afraid, I'm supposed to take the call, they want to speak to me

My toes are in the lake and it's cold but feels great

I'm supposed to be here

Fingers turn to carbon, creepy, hate that, make it diamond instead, I do, it's easy

I want to know who called me, they need my help

I want to help

I step farther into the lake, walk all the way in, water over my head it's fine

Wake up standing in the middle of street, 3 AM

I'm not afraid, but I'm certain the world ended (how do I know)

Run back in, call Ben to check, he yells at me for waking the baby

Feel bad

Going to try to sleep

Sept 10

Haven't slept that great in years

Sept 11

No events, perfect sleep

Sept 12

No events, fluke??

Sept 13

No events, cancelled doctor's appointments

Sept 14

I thought this was done with, woke up on the roof look up

Climbed down the fire escape, heard radiofax go off in closet

Timing worrisome, confusing, it didn't wake me up on the roof, it came on when I stepped back through the window

I didn't want to open the closet door. Could hear it printing. Turn on all the lights before I opened the door to check.

Message is alarming, I think I already knew I needed to be there

How did I know

Heading to office

TO - DO: Reschedule doctor’s appointment, call Mr.Barbsik regarding window bars

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Finally, a letter from his brother Ben

Louis,

Took Fernanda and the kids to the zoo last week. It's unreal how much bigger it is compared to that little place in Baraboo we used to go as kids. I think they had, what, one tiger? And at it was probably a bobcat with stripes painted on it. Lincoln Park's got that big city funding.

Elephants continue to be Betty's favorite. In fact, she insisted on drawing one for you, pictured below. She's since informed us she'd like one for Christmas. I told her, “Uncle Louie’s on it!” Phillip's become obsessed with watching that Japanese robot cartoon you showed him, and while we're asking Uncle Louis for things, he's requested a comic book based on the show. If it exists, I know you'll find it.

Benito is taking after his mother and becoming quite the artist despite his young age. His latest piece was in an experimental medium: the lunch he ingested not twenty minutes prior. Nanda was telling me how she wished she could grasp the freedom in his brushstrokes. I told her I'd happily get her a jar of pureed carrots, give her a little twirl, and see what she comes up with. Anything to support the arts.

I wanted to ask - have you had any more conversations with Ma about the house? It's getting colder and I don't want her to shovel snow this year without either of us in town anymore. I'd prefer she was closer, you know how she is. She's lived in that town her entire life, and the idea of being far from Pa is tough for her to think about. Give it another shot if you haven't already, she seems to listen to her Schatzi more than me.

Benito’s first birthday is the Sunday after next, and we're planning to throw a little party. Nanda’s sending out invitations, so don't tell her I told you, but I wanted to make sure it was on your radar. I know works kept you busy; it would mean a lot of you came. I promise I won't give you anymore grief about that girl from the Miradar.

Te extraño chaparrito,

Ben

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Translations:

Schatzi - little treasure

Te extraño chaparrito - I miss you little one