prepare to be disappointed

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

feel like inventing some guys

guy who puts his head underneath the sneeze guard at the buffet

guy who tips the bus driver a 20$

guy who can swim in the deep end of the pool but pretends they can’t

guy who can’t remember their password and forgot their glasses so they ask you to read it off the sticky note they wrote it down on

guy whose kinda sexy from every angle except for one

can i make a guy too

yeah feel free, this is an open source guy post

guy that asks permission to make guys

kitten i'll be honest daddy needs to learn how to have fun making art again or he's going to kill himself

one moment ☝️ *pauses the blowjob to start violently coughing up blood*

I can’t overshare because that would be very humiliating but everyone else should overshare because I like to know everything

i feel like im constantly taking damage

-1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

being a jack of all trades is dope as fuck honestly. it's like I'm doing crop rotation inside my own brain