Working & fostering

1. Kids are at sleep away camp and I’m making the most of my time.

2. Things happened today and the result was to move my exploratory heart procedure up to 10 days out.

3. I needed a pick me up and also toothpaste, so ran into Walmart. Coffee mate has these little dirty soda mixers to pair with soda. I did a bit of one with a diet Dr pepper and it was like summer in a bottle! It tasted like a resort drink. Y’all find them- just $1.50 and it might stop you from choking out the dumb girl at the mahjong table. Might.

4. Someone sent me an anonymous about keeping up with Assasin’s Blade. I stayed up last night and am almost finished with the second book. It is getting better.

The cardiac appointment was a nightmare and left me feeling just awful, physically and mentally.

I came home and got a message asking me to sub this evening in this mahjong tournament. It was 25 minutes away, but thought it might take my mind off the heart stuff. I fed the kids an early supper and got dressed and drove in traffic to the other side of town. The tournament was being held on a rooftop balcony that was like four flights of stairs in a historic building.

I can barely do stairs because I have no fucking heart capacity, so there was a woman behind me on the stairs on my heels. I scoot to the side and smile and just laugh and make a joke about being slow and she can go around me. She looks at me, head to toe, huffs and walks around me.

I made it up to the registration desk and check in. They say I’m a few minutes late and they gave my spot to an alternate- the lady who passed me on the stairs. I just said okay and the organizer then calls the alternate over says they’ve already rolled for East, essentially already starting the game. Everyone is looking and so I just say it’s okay, because I know I’m red faced and can still barely take a breath.

They’re all like “oh, you’re so young! What brings you in today? Any symptoms?”

Then I tell them and they look at my chart and it quickly becomes serious and the one tech was like “oh, shit, let me get Donna in here, just in case.”

Not sure who Donna was, but she didn’t take her eyes off of me until it was all finished and I was deposited in the cardiologist’s office.

1. I did not think I’d have nerve pain in my chest this far out from surgery. I asked the cardio thoracic surgeon and he said it can take years for nerves to regenerate, especially in br.east tissue. When the nerve pain hits, no matter where I am, it’s a natural instinct to grab my br.east and push into my chest until the pain goes away. I wonder if the closure wires in my sternum are part of the pain.

2. June’s Book Club selection is Margot has Money Problems. I just can’t get into it.

3. I’m also reading through the Assassin’s Blade series. I buy the book and also the audible. I love Sarah Maas, but Assassin’s Blade series seems much slower pace.

4. Can we talk about how much food teenagers consume on summer break? Holy smokes.

5. I have made it a point to schedule something weekly that is just for me and does not involve my children. Right now, that looks like either a book club or mahjong event.

6. Just in case anyone has fallen behind my hobbies and interests are reading, gardening, birds, tennis and mahjong. I also like a good sudoku workbook.

1. School is out.

2. Dino passed honors bio by the skin on his teeth. No summer school and he gets promoted to sophomore.

3. Did a fancy mahjong event at a country club and the crowd was definitely….interesting. It was all women, average age range late 30s to 60s. Some were very nice and some clearly have kids who have likely gone no contact. Saw the kids’ pediatrician there.

3. Dino and I used the mini chainsaw to clear some small sweet gums and other little trees and shrubs. Why do I do stupid shit? I can barely walk now.

4. My longchamp arrived. It was “I survived necrotic tissue and a wound vac” treat to myself.

5. With open heart, people talk about depression being pretty common along with cognitive issues. My cognition definitely took a hit. Thinking complex things through is very hard for me a lot of times. Playing mahjong is really challenging for me because I can’t compute things quickly and lots of thinking is exhausting.

6. I took Bee to hit balls at our court and practice her serve. I explained to her that she can do one private lesson and one clinic a week and then we have to supplement at home to get her ready for the season. We used ChatGPT to come up with a training plan that includes strength and conditioning and mechanics. I went to her clinic yesterday to size up her competition and see where she compares.

Overall, she’s doing well. Middle school is hard. Sixth grade was the worst and finishing 8th seems like a relief. I think she will do well in high school.

I am not one to hand out parenting advice. Mostly. I will say this about girls and trauma and pervasive mental illness. Sleep, nutrition, and a shit ton of physical activity.

I control as much as possible so Bee gets a minimum of 10 hours, but we aim for 12 hours sleep a night. There are things we have to forego so that I can protect her sleep.

Nutrition- like any teenager, she eats a ton of junk. But every night we sit down to a dinner of a lean protein, a fruit, and a vegetable. She also has lots of healthy snacks and always a water bottle on her. Hangry is a real thing for this kid.

Tennis is her thing. She is on the court after school and then every weekend she’s at a tennis clinic for 2 to 3, 4 hours. Tennis isn’t just a 45 minute lesson, it’s hours of footwork, conditioning, games, coaching. It just changes her entire mood and she asks to go to the clinics and lessons and once there, asks to stay longer.

She had an amazing time. 🩷

Surviving a half dozen heart attacks? Maybe.

After the mahjong party, I picked the girls up from a tennis clinic. Another mom came over to me and was telling me she drove by our house and loved the garden beds we (the kids) put in and the fountain and the window boxes.

My half-dead clearance Walmart and Lowe’s plants and flowers have taken off for me. The yard is filled with blooming plants and we have tons of birds and half a dozen hummingbirds.